News The Morning News
posted by on February 20 at 7:57 AM
Ten in a Row: Wisconsin and Hawaii hand it to Obama.
On the Go: McCain’s the man in Washington.
Four more Years: Musharraf won’t step down despite losing parliament.
New Pakistan Government: Negotiatin’ with terr’ists.
Quake: In Indonesia.
Leak: Judge muzzles Web site on confidential information.
Streak: Meteor over Spokane.
Freak: School district officials get restraining order against Omari Tahir-Garrett.
Copycat: If Kosovo jumped off the Empire State Building, would Palestine also want to jump off the Empire State Building?
They Should Really Have Seatbelts on those Things: Four dead in school-bus crash.
Whew: Atlantis lands with “twin sonic booms.”
Lunar Eclipse: 7:01 p.m. to 7:51 p.m.
Clean Slate: Raúl hints at more democratic Cuba.
Clean State: Green legislation passed by state House.
Dirty SLUT: Graffiti removed from orange trolley.
From Popularity Plus: Good Manners for Young Moderns, by Sally Simpson. Copyright 1947.
GETTING YOUR MANYou’ve spotted your glamor boy, your would-be One and Only. Maybe he’s the Big Man on campus or just that nice lad in Freshman Lit.
Anyhow, you’re out to get your man.
First and foremost, don’t let your hero know he’s your prey. If you chase him, he’ll run. The campus Big Shot will resent or ridicule your ambitions: he’s been pursued before! And the ordinary nice guy will be embarrassed and self-conscious.
So keep mum about your intentions. Don’t go ‘round raving about him to others, either. Rumor will reach him, for sure.
Meanwhile make yourself a pretty package—something special that everyone will want to pick from the Christmas tree. Neat and sweet in appearance, of course. Bright and attractive in mood and manners, too.
As much as I want Obama to get the nomination (and at this point it seems very very likely unless he royally screws up) I WANT HILLARY TO GO NASTY ASS NEGATIVE ON HIM NOW!!! Seriously, Obama needs the baptism by fire in NASTY politics to get him ready for what the GOP is going to do. If Hillary wants us to win in November; SHE HAS TO TAKE THE GLOVES OFF and do everything she can to slime Obama.
Does that sound mean? Maybe, but if Obama can withstand the worse the Clinton machine can dish out...well he has it locked up on election day.
Hey, SLUT taggers: Fuck you, assholes.
Hey, SLUT taggers: you ain't got skill. Your work looks worse than monkey scat on canvas.
The only real question remaining is whether Obama gets whacked before or after the election.
I am a pretty package.
It's funny how that Young Moderns passage sounds like an old-fashioned form of The Rules.
re: Meanwhile make yourself a pretty package...
I wouldn't hurt to show cleavage. It is a tried and true strategy for getting Big Cock -er- Man on Campus...
Regarding the "Getting Your Man" thing at the end: my grandmother was dating a BMOC in college. But in 1940, you were supposed to marry Mr. Sensible. So when BMOC proposed, she said no. And then married Mr. Sensible, whom she didn't love then and never would.
Thirty years later, Mr. Sensible divorced her, married a lush socialite (imagine Paris Hilton + 30 years) and drank himself into the grave in three short years. Grandma didn't contest the divorce (not proper!) and only got the house she was living in out of Mr. Sensible's millions.
So there Grandma is, sitting at home, when who should come to the door but the BMOC. He had flown bombers in the war, married, become an alcoholic himself, gotten divorced, and was now back in town. "Sober up and we'll talk", said Grandma.
35 years later, they've been married now for 30 happy years. She's getting a touch of senile dementia, but degrading gracefully.
Sometimes people can wash that neo-victorian mumbo jumbo out of their brains. It just takes a while.
@5. i'm not sure what i think about that. i feel i should resent or ridicule your ambitions, but also strangely embarrassed and self-conscious.
You should ALWAYS start rumors about the guy you want. Things like he has the clap or genitle warts or a small dick. THIS way you will disgust any sort of competition and have a clear and easy shot of getting him.
@8 great story! love it.
@1 i don't think the slime will help clinton now -- if she wins the nomination or not. it prove more divisive to the party, so i hope she doesn't go that route. i want the dem nominee to walk-right in to office.
Sally Simpson wrote the first reel of The Matrix?
be passive aggressive towards your interests?
Miss Popularity sounds like a stalker.
hey SLUT writers....don't stop! thanks.
Sven, your grandma should be made into a movie. Except it wouldn't be believable. Very sweet.
Fnarf, the same type of thing happened with my dad and his current wife; dated in college, stopped, he got married to my mom, she went off, and here we are 30 years later and they are now married.
Bah! Your families are PLAGIARIZING Love in the Time of Cholera. I'm reporting you all.
@8 - cool story.
I'm helping host a small party at Gasworks to watch the moon die.
sven and bellevue... are you step brothers now?
wouldnt I actually be his step uncle since it was my dad but his grandma?
Is this the way Dan's columns will sound to kids sixty years from now?
Kekekekeke!
Dan? Dan who? Oh, you mean that guy who used to work at The Stranger? Yeah, I think I vaguely remember him.
Dan? I heard an urban legend of some "Dan Savage" who worked at the Stranger. I always thought it was just a rumor like the old lady who put her pooddle in the microwave to dry it off.
The old lady poodle story is true.
Bright and attractive in mood and manners? What if Mr. Studmuffin prefers sulky Goth chicks?
Total Eclipse of the Heart - 7pm - Cal Anderson Park - be there.
and here i thought i was paying attention.
Fnarf@16:
I always thought so. infrequent@20:
So thaaaaat's why we fight so much...
@28 - too far. Gasworks is closer.
Supersonic aircraft always create two sonic booms. There are two cones of pressurized air molecules displaced by both the nose and tail of supersonic aircraft that form the booms. Usually the two booms are indistinguishable due to the relative 'shortness' of most supersonic aircraft. With the speed and mass and length of the Space Shuttle, the "dual sonic booms" are much more distinct and crack louder closer to the ground.
Also, the pressure of the displaced air in a sonic boom is about as much as that of riding in an elevator. It is the rapid speed at which the air molecules are displaced that is genesis of the resultant boom.
http://lineout.thestranger.com/2008/02/total_eclipse_of_the_moon
cool, we had an iPod with a portable speaker unit at Gas Works, NaFun.
Comments Closed
In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 14 days old).