Comments on Seen on My Computer

It's one of those sex dolls, right? I can tell by her vapid look.

I remember reading a comment that Scarlett had an air of the semi-retarded. And I have to agree.

Which begs the question: What ever happened to Thora Birch?

B-Cup Baby!

@3 Ohh c'mon Hal! That is definitely C cup material right there

I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers

She could do whatever she wanted.

*slurp*

giggity.

Monica Bellucci would kick Scarlett's scrawny ass any day!

She's in Pier 1, right?

@6

I have 5 dollars to contribute to your worth effort.

worthy. shit.

fucking purple makes me stoopid.

gross

She looks sexy but her voice is irritating. She sounds like a child.

hot.

Dr. drew says that woman who sound like children, usually have some form of molestation/sexual abuse issues...

@12

That's because she IS a fucking child.

The number of people who don't seem to be able to keep track of the fact that the firmness of Scarlett Johansson's breasts is due to her only having had them for about eight years is truly alarming to me. It was more alarming in 2003 than it is now, but it still kind of grosses me out.

Yeah, I too had this theory that once underage, always off limits. Because of the timelessness of the media, you know.

Still, I have some guilty feelings that maybe I should be punished for. My weird friend assuages his guilt by getting ECB to berate him. Yeah, what a freak, I know. But maybe he's on to something...

@2 - What does having "an air of the semi-retarded mean"? She looks semi-retarded, or she acts like it?

Semi-retarded or not, she probably doesn't use the phrase "begs the question" incorrectly. One would have to be more than semi to do that.

@15:

Right On!

she's a bit too skinny in that picture.

OMG I have a necklace JUST like her's.

Ouch @17! Total burn!

what a major hottie. I have no idea what you people are going on and on about. The only thing to be said is whether or not you would do her. Yowza, what a hottie!

the first worthwhile post by mr feit. ever. and the first & last time i will utter the words, "well played, josh".

Thanks Josh, best straight post in a while...

Is she missing a finger on her left hand? I know this distracts from the vital b/c cup argument, not to mention the retarded-looking/retarded dispute, and the molested-as-a-child/just-sounds-like-a-molestable child threads, but seriously, it looks like she's a digit short on her left front paw.

Thanks bill @25!

More evidence that she's a chromosomally aberrant.

Yes, we can.

Let N= the number of years between now and when I could conceivably play hide the kielbasa with Ms. Johansson, assuming Inga runs off with the pool boy and/or divorces me and marries up.

At that point, Ms. Johansson will be N+23. I, unfortunately, will be N+39. By the Rule of Creepy Old Men, the soonest she and I could play pickle tickle would be when she is half my age plus seven years.

Thus,

((N+39)/2)+7=N+23
(N/2)+19.5+7=N+23
(N/2)+26.5=N+23
26.5-23=N-(N/2)
3.5=(1/2)N
N=7

God damn it. In seven years I'll be very busy volunteering for Vice-President Obama's first presidential campaign! How am I going to have to take care of Ms. Johansson's (I'm sure) ample physical needs?

It is a conundrum.

I'd hit it!

"...it looks like she's a digit short on her left front paw."

And whomever dressed her is colorblind. Red bra with a pink dress? Ick.

Seriously, I still recall how we, the packed house of the Egyptian Theatre, rose to give Ms. Birch & co. the standing ovation they had so richly earned, at the conclusion of Ghost World. (SIFF 2001) I'd say Ms. J. has many more good films ahead of her, whatever she does right now.

So...this is pretty lame (I realize), but I have no idea who this pretty lady is. I suppose the fact that I'm gay doesn't help, but it really isn't a good excuse either.

Can someone tell me, should I know who this lady is, and if so, why?

I got no idea either. She looks like she's twelve, and now I can't get my eyes off her deformed left hand.

I think she's some kind of alien.

@15,

Not all 23 year olds have childish voices. Unless she takes up a pack-a-day habit, I don't see her voice changing much in the future.

@31 & @32, she's Scarlett Johansson. She was the ugly one in Ghost World.

fab hair... ^..^

Ewww... eat something girl! She's nearing starvation levels...

@ 24 shit am i supposed to be straight to enjoy this?
thanks for the porn, feit.

What's this about her voice? She has a really deep voice that sounds nothing like a child. Unless children sound like 24-year-old women.

I do find it weird that she's missing a finger, though. Someone went a little nuts with the Photoshop.

@25:

THANK YOU! For a second I was like - "OMG! I'M SO OLD!" because I immediately focused on Ms. Johansson's hand, and NOT on her other, um, attributes.

And @31:

It's a totally lame excuse. I'm not gay, and I didn't have a clue either, until I saw someone else mention her name.

In what breast bizzaro land are those b-cups? C-cups, at least. Maybe D.

It's amazing how far you can get in this life with a nice set of cans and bee-stung lips.

You sexist pigs! I bet you're all Obama supporters/HRC haters aren't you?

@30 But has she made a decent movie since then? Oh right, that Woody Allen thing was okay. Way to set the film world on fire!

Girl with a pearl earring.

chi type @42, she starred in the under-appreciated Lost in Translation in 2003.

AMB@41:

I am both a staunch HRC supporter and a Scarlett Johansson ogler. If Stranger staffers are going to post pictures of drop-dead-gorgeous celebrities, I'm going to comment on them. Sorry if that disrupts your theory.

@44 Under-appreciated you say? Really? I personally think it's over rated, but point taken.

and @43 Now that POS got just the right amount of appreciation, none. But it did have Colin Firth. Mmmmm...can somebody at slog please post a pic of Coling Firth looking sultry.

What is a boner, and why?

chi type @46, my take was that Lost in Translation was overpraised at release and then quickly stuck with a reputation for being an overrated lightweight,* with the end result that it was under-appreciated.  Your mileage may vary.

*It was lightweight relative to the grandiose expectations generated by all the hype, but imho pleasingly substantial if taken on its own terms.  My interest in Japanese culture likely colors my perception, so again, YMMV.

I dunno... I can' help but think that pic satisfies somebodies need to screw a woman that looks like a little girl. Basically, making it oKay to have pedofile fantasies. Hey! If that's your fetish, whatever, right?

@36:

Eat your words. She's perfect.

Must all women be part of the muffin-top brigade to be acceptable to the local troglodyte population?

News flash: it's OK to be feminist and be fit.

As undeniably sexy as young Scarlett is, the photo of Dr. Mae Jemison posted by Mudede rings my bell even more.

Screw you guys. You're ruining this for me. I think all y'all's bitterness comes from Winslet fatalism.

Good to know that Slog has room for both rabble-rousing sisterhood and shameless objectification. What the hell, y'all.

Ursula @53, the most intelligent, progressive, and feminist women I know have no problem acknowledging their lust for Brad Pitt, and they make no apologies.

I see no conflict between being a feminist myself and also saying that Scarlett is drop-dead sexy, and in some hypothetical world where it could happen and I wouldn't be cheating or a creepy old guy, I'd jump at the chance to be with such a lovely person.