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RSS icon Comments on Reminder: Starbucks Closed Today...

1

I am reminded of the following: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QipAqdomO3I

Posted by Levislade | February 26, 2008 11:04 AM
2

who doesnt love glengarry glen ross?

Posted by Bellevue Ave | February 26, 2008 11:08 AM
3

as a fellow former-bookseller, your post gave me terrible, terrible flashbacks.

Posted by jayme | February 26, 2008 11:18 AM
4

I hope all the small independent coffee shops are ready to repel the invading hordes.

Posted by Will in Seattle | February 26, 2008 11:22 AM
5

That's always been one of my favorite things about corporate America: when things were good, the staff doesn't get anything extra because, supposedly, it's the suits that came up with the winning business plan or whatever. But when things go bad, you've go some Type A fuckwit screaming shit in your face and telling you that if you don't like it you can take a flying fuck at a rolling donut.

I swear, that was the part I really loved about getting out of the service industry. I don't have "fuck you money" or anything, but I can at least tell a guy like that to shove his job up his ass.

Posted by Judah | February 26, 2008 11:31 AM
6

Long ago I used to work at the Landmark Theater that was in the Broadway Market. When minimum wage went up ($4.25! Good thing well whiskey at Eileen's was only $2.), they sent an executive from HQ in Texas to come up and give us that exact speech. "You know, with minimum wage going up, you're all going to have to work a lot harder to sell to keep this theater profitable."

It was amazing. You can pretty much guess the response. I wish I had had a tape recorder there that day, the executive's Texas accent got really fun once we got her riled up.

Posted by Dougsf | February 26, 2008 12:13 PM
7

I actually envisioned a few hours of "re-education," where they convert all the employees into cultish drones spouting platitudes like "Coffee is my God!" and "I love the leader!"

Posted by Matthew | February 26, 2008 12:17 PM
8

@5 - wonder what bonus the execs gave themselves for having the employees do this?

Posted by Will in Seattle | February 26, 2008 12:28 PM
9

They might try training them to listen to the order and get it right.

Ask for a venti tea, one bag, with three fingers' worth unfilled then please top it off with cold water -- seems to present a difficult challenge. Perhaps this is because they focus on sy following corporate chatterbox scripts which demand they ask me how's my morning going and other faux friendly nano-talk which I don't value, particularly when it means they aren't just getting the order right.

cc: Howard Schultz

Posted by unPC | February 26, 2008 12:30 PM
10

**I am ducking getting ready to get spat upon on Slog but here it goes**

I actually buy Starbucks coffee (for home brewing) and used to buy drinks at the stores until they went to those damn stupid machines that make the coffee taste weak and nasty. If they want their coffee to be better they need to bring back the old machines that are not automated and dump half of the retail shit out of their stores.

Yours Truly,

A once loyal customer.

Posted by Andrew | February 26, 2008 12:33 PM
11

@9, I am with you totally, getting my damn drink right would be a nice change of pace too. How FUCKING difficult is it to make a "Double short Americano, no room and a few ice cubes" Seriously, how fucking hard can that be? When I ordered it in the stores they NEVER could grasp that!

Posted by Andrew | February 26, 2008 12:36 PM
12

Oh Lord. Alec Baldwin is my god. This was the first hint at the awesomeness that is Jack Donaughey.

Posted by Misty | February 26, 2008 12:46 PM
13

Jesus people, some of you have some seriously precious drink orders. It's fast food, take it easy on'em.

#9 you're being sarcastic, right? I hope...?

Posted by Dougsf | February 26, 2008 12:47 PM
14

Okay, I've been busy and I clearly missed something. What is the purpose of this 'retraining'? Who got screwed over and why?

Posted by Gomez | February 26, 2008 1:00 PM
15

Here's the training video they'll be showing in stores tonight:

http://origin.www.spike.com/video/2730057

Posted by Explorer | February 26, 2008 1:03 PM
16

@14, My bet is Howard Schultz' had his drink fucked up and is throwing a fit. But that is just my bet.

Posted by Just Me | February 26, 2008 1:03 PM
17

The press releases last week said that no one at store-level jobs were among the 600 lay-offs. I took that to mean that it was exactly the bad manager types you are all talking about who were let go. Perhaps that will lead to a better experiance in the stores. I gave up coffee way abck and can't understand 3 bucks for a cup of tea so I have been in a starbuck's in years. Had no idea it had gotten so cultish.

Posted by inkweary | February 26, 2008 1:07 PM
18

Is that Britney in the picture?

Posted by Fnarf | February 26, 2008 1:20 PM
19

Oh Lord. Alec Baldwin is my god. This was the first hint at the awesomeness that is Jack Donaughey.

Posted by Misty | February 26, 2008 1:29 PM
20

While I'm not a barista, my boyfriend is and is teaching the class. Its about going back to high standards and sticking with coffee as the main attraction rather than the other aspects the company has branched out to over the last few years.

Posted by Wes | February 26, 2008 1:35 PM
21

Yes, Fnarf, that is Britney, from one of her pregnancies. Drool away.

Posted by Paul Constant | February 26, 2008 1:37 PM
22

@20 - what, no more upselling of croissants and music add-ons? Selling coffee?

Posted by Will in Seattle | February 26, 2008 1:42 PM
23

I get drinks at Starbucks because it's the only coffee shop near my office. I worked at coffee shops for years and prided myself on my barista skills. Now I never get a hot drink at a Starbucks because no one there can steam milk without burning it. It's disgusting. I get iced drinks only and have to get flavoring because the espresso isn't made right either. They need to train the baristas properly on manual espresso machines if they want to improve the quality of the drinks. Even mediocre coffee can taste pretty good if it's made right.

Posted by Alyssa | February 26, 2008 1:49 PM
24

Obviously they're shifting to Phase 2:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28657

Posted by Tiktok | February 26, 2008 2:05 PM
25

I heard a rumor from friends of friends that a large part of the training will focus on how to properly clean and operate those machines so the coffee tastes the way it's supposed to. If they are in fact trying to fix their current difficulties by actually improving the product, what a breath of fresh air. Most American companies would just close stores and cut wages to get the stock price back up.

I also heard that of the 600 lost jobs, 400-some were through attrition and the others were VP-level executives and their staffs.

It sounds like a Japanese company - fix the product and make the executives responsible. It's just what I heard. I could be wrong.

Posted by pox | February 26, 2008 2:36 PM
26

Kinkos used to do these training exercises. They were futile, as you had the same problem employees half-assing the already-half-assed training sessions with the manager. They got a passing knowledge of whatever it was they were supposed to learn, and so it continued.

Hopefully, the 3.5 hours are used more productively, are approached more productively and the end result is a newer, more productive approach.

And if it leads to coffee that doesn't taste like burnt swill, they hooray, but I'm not holding my breath.

Posted by Gomez | February 26, 2008 3:16 PM
27

i'm going to retraining tonight and it is to make sure everyone is making the drinks to standard.

Howard is back in charge and saw how fucked up things have gotten. he is getting everyone back on track (hopefully!)

burnt milk! gross. i can tell you, most of the baristas i work with don't even aerate the milk. it's sad, but true. they leave the shots sitting way too long and they don't put the correct amount of coffee/milk/syrup/powder/water/etc...into the drinks. lets all hope the coffee will taste better tomorrow!

Posted by barista barista | February 26, 2008 4:33 PM
28

@25 : Those poor, poor VPs. I feel so bad for them, really!

Posted by laterite | February 26, 2008 4:54 PM
29

I walked home from work tonight--between 4th and Columbia and Capitol Hill I passed at least four Starbucks, and all the employees were inside, watching/listening to seminar speakers using lots of exaggerated hand motions. In each and every one of them, doing more or less the same thing.

It was seriously creepy.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | February 26, 2008 8:23 PM
30

#29, that's because each manager had a SCRIPT to read from and were trying to make it ohsoextra fun for us.

Posted by hating howard | February 26, 2008 9:22 PM
31

@13
I agree with the "some of you have some seriously precious drink orders" comment...

I can understand the latte complaints. A lot of baristas are just plain lazy or got into a bad habit (not just SBUX people) and never aerate the milk. LAME. I don't know about this claim of "burned" milk though. That doesn't sound accurate. Those SBUX baristas only have steam wands at their disposal. It's not like they are making New Orleans-style Café au lait. Those push-button Verismo machines have temperature gauges next to the steam wand so they automatically shut off. Although it may be possible that they are bypassing the temp gauge and heating it too much (resulting in general nastiness) it is far more likely that your latte is too cold.

But the commenters here with water-related complaints? Cry me a three fingers' worth river. Trust me, you do not want ice cubes from that bin in your precious Americano. Just trust me.

Slow down for once. Hot water eventually cools. And Glengarry Glen Ross rules. That scene is the best. Thank you.

Posted by former green apron wearer | February 26, 2008 10:11 PM
32

If they're smart, they are training them to make coffee.

Posted by jean genie | February 26, 2008 10:15 PM
33

That is my favorite pic of Brittney ever!

Posted by KeeKee | February 26, 2008 10:40 PM
34

Coffee is a terrible drink and I'd like nothing more than to never have to associate with anyone who drinks it regularly. And Tazo Tea, which Starbucks uses, is just terrible.

So, there's no reason for anybody to go to Starbucks in the first place.

Posted by Chris in Tampa | February 26, 2008 11:02 PM
35

Working at a corporate bookstore that also sells that particular brand of coffee, I can tell you one thing: people cannot fucking live without their Starbucks, and goddamn they are whiny.

Thanks for making a normal slow Tuesday into a busy, "not enough fucking people on shift" Tuesday, Starbucks! I love nothing more than being short staffed and out of everything. Wish someone had TOLD ME ABOUT THIS. Or, more importantly, told my manager.

To whoever was bitching about their tea: let it steep before you add cold water, and I hope your three fingers rot in hell. Seriously, the only thing dumber than the baristas you're complaining about is you. What a dumb, dumb request. How about someone just shoves the tea bag up your ass? I love how the world is going to explode when your weak tea doesn't have the specific amount of water necessary in it. The problem with Starbucks isn't the shitty coffee, it's the shitty attitude they've let their customers get away with. Argh, jesus.

I hate you, Seattle, for sending your shitty coffee so far and wide.

Posted by Me | February 27, 2008 12:11 AM
36

@35
lol
ah, but I understand the gripes...

so far and wide, but SBUX is having to backtrack now.

Posted by former green apron wearer | February 27, 2008 1:02 AM
37

I go to starbucks a LOT because it's the only coffee shop near my house (walking distance) and I also worked there for a short time. I dislike getting a poorly made drink, but I HATED getting reamed out by a pissy customer.

*Rant*
Holy shit people, don't blow a fuse at some minimum wage employee who's been on the job all day, and probably has to work overtime due to under staffing. I don't think people realize exactly how many customers come into starbucks, spout off some overly long and complicated drink order, then roll their eyes if you ask them to repeat it or scream and rant if it's written it down wrong.

If someone gets your drink wrong, POLITELY ask them to make it again. Not. That. Hard.

Thank the gods I got out of the service industry...

Posted by Cinders | February 27, 2008 3:02 PM
38

Oh, slog, I learned so much! I thought starbucks coffee was shitty cause they scorched it all the time, I didn't realize the machines had something to do with it. Realized the beans were decent when I had some coffee at a conference in a ceramic cup and they were like it S-bucks. For reals? Now, I treat my self to a french press after the morning rush once or twice a week and its pretty tasty (who knew?). I have to add the some customers are total ass, and if I hear something overly complicated, I ask them, quite seriously, what is that exactly and why do you call it that? I mean three finger roll, ice cubes in a short cup (just ask for lukewarm americano which is still flippin' scorchin!) - I Just don't get it.

Posted by stone | February 27, 2008 8:39 PM

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