Slog News & Arts

Line Out

Music & Nightlife

« Are You Smarter Than the Typic... | LiveBlogging the (Final?) Dem ... »

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Once Is Too Much

posted by on February 26 at 14:45 PM

Oh, and by the way: I don’t care if it won the Oscar for Best Original Plaintive Whine or whatever—I still stand by my original review.

Once

dir. John Carney

The major selling point for this unpleasant slog through a banal musical about honkies in love is its star. Glen Hansard, formerly of Irish band the Frames, is supposed to be some kind of balladeer heartthrob in real life, but he seems like a twit.

Hansard’s other movie credit is the guitar player in The Commitments. It was, at least according to Wikipedia, “a role he subsequently regretted, believing it distracted from his music career.” Really? Like, you just couldn’t wriggle free from those 13 minutes of C-level fame circa 1991? Twit.

Anyway, the movie: Irish twit busks the streets of Dublin and works at his father’s vacuum-repair shop. Czech gal (Markéta Irglová, also of the Frames) pursues Irish boy. Their love is inevitable—a cheating girlfriend broke his heart; an indifferent babydaddy broke hers—and unconsummated. She fawns over his music and they put together a band and make a record that everyone, from the jaded studio manager to Irish boy’s father, thinks is cool.

The problem is the awful fucking music, and, this being a musical, the awful fucking music sinks the ship. (The scene with Irglová singing while listening to headphones, walking down a Dublin street in her pajamas late at night, isn’t bad. But that’s only enough material for a music video.) Hansard’s songs are all of the genus “mewling heartbreak.” They begin with a plaintive honky honk and build to a strained honky howl—all of them repetitive, lazy, and cloying. Once isn’t half bad when Hansard shuts the hell up and lets someone else get an emotion in edgewise. But mostly, it’s barf. BRENDAN KILEY

RSS icon Comments

1

Because of you, Brendan, I sat through Gatz.

I will never take your opinions seriously. Ever. Again.

Posted by pencil riot | February 26, 2008 2:56 PM
2

After what Brendan said about my thinking a musical about Jackson relocating and killing as a result Native Americans could be inappropriate. GOD FORBID an opinion of my own and he ripped me for it!

Besides Hassard is hot and sexy, sexier than Brendan will ever hope to be.

Posted by Andrew | February 26, 2008 3:03 PM
3

Sorry, Brendan, but at the very least, the piano store scene where the two first play together is very nicely executed.

Posted by ben | February 26, 2008 3:04 PM
4

Brendan, interesting review, but totally wrong.

But music is personal, so ... you can easily have a different opinion on this.

Posted by Will in Seattle | February 26, 2008 3:09 PM
5

Thank you. Until now I was the only person I knew who hated this snoozefest. Bleh.

Folky earnestness is so...90s.

Posted by Lola | February 26, 2008 3:18 PM
6

Totally agree! I just don't think those songs are that good.

#2, of course he's sexy, it's a movie, and he's a wanna-be pop star - It's his job! But the film didn't win "sexiest", it won for its music, and I guess since Ratatouille lacked the obligatory Randy Newman montage (and besides stellar animation, also SUCKED!), we're allowed to jump all over this one.

Posted by Dougsf | February 26, 2008 3:22 PM
7

It only won because there were three songs nominated from Enchanted, which split the pro-Enchanted vote.

Posted by Gitai | February 26, 2008 3:24 PM
8

@1 Well I haven't seen this but I thought Gatz was amazing. As did every single person I know who saw it. Perhaps we should never take your opinions seriously ever again.

Posted by matthew e | February 26, 2008 3:25 PM
9

YES YES YES!!!!! Thank you Brendan for speaking the truth in a venue so Emo that you'll be word-bullied out of the building.

What a piece of trash movie 'Once' is. Not because of the script, the acting, or the budget. Because of that goddamn SONG. It took me 3 days to watch the movie because that fucking SONG was played over and over and over. The 'powerful ending'? Even that didn't redeem the movie one whit, because of that SONG. I walked out of the room when they played it on the Oscars, and I muffled a scream when that SONG actually won. And it made my stomach turn when even John Stewart sucked up to them and made them out to be charming and unassuming. .

Yeesh.

Posted by Sporting Fellow | February 26, 2008 3:25 PM
10

I actually liked Enchanted.

Did i mention Ratatouille sucked yet?

Posted by Dougsf | February 26, 2008 3:26 PM
11

i haven't seen 'once' but their performance at the oscars was enough for me to not be interested.

the use of the worn-out guitar, with all the new guitars behind them, during the performance was so pretentious. like the hole in the guitar entitles him to musical street cred.

i up your twit to a twat.

Posted by ray ray | February 26, 2008 3:31 PM
12

Cute movie, but I thought the songs were tedious. Not a five-chord in sight. And like the music, the plot contained no resolution. It was nice to see them win against the Disney smarm machine though.

Posted by pox | February 26, 2008 3:37 PM
13

It was cute, but the fact that the late-30-something Hansard hooked up with the 19-year-old Irglova after knowing her since she was 13 will always be skeevy to me.

Posted by bma | February 26, 2008 3:40 PM
14

The music was okay; I just didn't need to hear that main song in it's entirety three or four times in one movie.

Posted by JC | February 26, 2008 3:40 PM
15

Well, @14, if you watched the Oscars, you got to hear the entire soundtrack for a certain Disney movie for free ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | February 26, 2008 3:55 PM
16

Screw you, Kiley. Because of you, I put off seeing this movie for months and skipped the Frames' set at Bumbershoot. I think you should limit yourself to reviewing fare like "Talladega Nights" or "A Raisin in the Sun," starring Puff Daddy.

Posted by kebabs | February 26, 2008 3:57 PM
17

No, he should remain the positive and constantly forgiving reviewer of shitty concept plays.

He's aaaaboooveee movies. Why watch a movie when you can watch 15 minutes of brilliance followed by a dumbass reading a book for six hours?!

Intellectual alert! Beeeep!

Posted by Mr. Poe | February 26, 2008 4:00 PM
18

I liked the music, but the movie was boooring.

Posted by Blacksheep | February 26, 2008 4:04 PM
19

I agree with Kiley. I fell asleep twice watching.

The Academy has really struggled lately with its Best Song nominees. One recent year there were only three nominees instead of the usual five, but according to the AMPAS charter, Best Song is one of the awards that MUST be awarded annually.

The Academy has made some silly choices for Best Song in the past ("Talk to the Animals," and "Chim Chim Cheree" come to mind - especially when you see what else what nominated those years), but generally, nothing written today compares with motion picture songs from the 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, and even the 70s. I keep thinking about all those wildly overwrought Disney tunes from Tarzan and Aladdin, etc. And the monotony of Randy Newman's nominated songs. Maybe the category has outlived its usefulness.

The reason the song from Once won is because it was the best of the worst.

I did like their acceptance speeches though. Heartfelt and real. And the fact that Jon Stewart brought the woman back on after the commercial break to give the speech that was timed out confirms the one thing I know with complete certainty in this life. I'm am deeply in love with Jon Stewart.

Posted by Bauhaus | February 26, 2008 4:07 PM
20

Wow... such venom.

I loved this movie and thought it was the best movie of last year... it was a bit slow, but I felt the moral fiber of the movie was powerful, and the low budget appealed to me in a primal sense... a sense that there are people out there that lead these shitty lives... and once in a great while these shitty lives have life... and then it's gone.

I loved it... thought it was a bit original, a bit unique and a lot entertaining.

Posted by jason | February 26, 2008 4:15 PM
21

Moral fiber helps me have moral bowel movements.

Posted by Fnarf | February 26, 2008 4:26 PM
22

Now that we've all vented, let's also realize that Across The Universe was amazing. Because it was.

Posted by Will in Seattle | February 26, 2008 4:27 PM
23

I watched Once at SIFF last year and I liked the movie and music. Brendan's review sounded like a punky highschooler.

Posted by Samson | February 26, 2008 4:27 PM
24

#22--That may be, but it didn't contain any original songs.

Posted by pgreyy | February 26, 2008 4:36 PM
25

@22 I don't know how you could watch Across the Universe with all the anvils falling everywhere.

Posted by jess | February 26, 2008 5:10 PM
26

I love "Once" and I really, really love The Frames, so we're on opposite sides of the fence here. Which is fine. Two things though:

1) Why were you asked (and why did you agree) to review a musical that features music and a musician you already knew you hated? What chance did the movie ever have with you, and how does that make any sense from an editorial perspective? Wouldn't a more impartial observer provide a less biased--and more accurate--assessment? And wouldn't that be more useful (if less "entertaining") for your readers?

2) Regardless of how you feel about the song, you have to agree that it's ten times better than those wretched, crushingly dull Enchanted songs. I wanted to shove Q-Tips through my eardrums and into the auditory centers of my brain when they played them on Oscar night. Horrible, horrible shit! (Maybe I should go review the movie!!)

Posted by Matthew | February 26, 2008 5:19 PM
27

#22 - Holy shit Will, that was UNWATCHABLE, offensively so. Like watching Zach Braff fuck one of my childhood toys for 90 minutes (why did I say that?). And this is coming from someone that got all the way through Inland Empire the other day (was that DVD 4 hours?). Ugh.

Posted by Dougsf | February 26, 2008 5:26 PM
28

@27: hahaha, I think I love you. I like Zach Braff, but that was gold.

Posted by Aislinn | February 26, 2008 5:49 PM
29

Well, this is an example of why I don't get my movie reviews from the Stranger. You're an idiot, and the beautiful muted undertones of this movie whisked right past you. Haters are a pathetic breed who generate skepticism based on how well-received a piece of art is when they finally come around to forming an opinion of it. If you think this movie was boring and overrated, you're both a mindless hater and so far removed from the independent movie scene that you didn't see this until it had a following. Yes, this is one good example of why your movie review section is lacking.

Posted by Alphonse | February 26, 2008 6:00 PM
30

A couple of the songs were great. The one song is in the movie twice so get over yourselves.

This Rene/Celine angle though really softens my enthusiasm. That's kind of sick. I liked the movie because they were commited to the music and not doing the humpty dance. Knowing the back story, I'm definitely sour.

Posted by left coast | February 26, 2008 6:06 PM
31

If that song is what people think is a good film song these days, God help us. God help us.

Posted by --MC | February 26, 2008 7:05 PM
32

8.1 on IMDB
97% on Rottentomatoes

"But mostly, it's barf." The Stranger

Posted by Suckit | February 26, 2008 7:06 PM
33

Guess we'll have to agree to disagree on this one. Of course it sucks, if you hate the Frames. I happen to be a fan.

Posted by cassandra | February 26, 2008 8:11 PM
34

I like the Frames. I thought Once was boring and hokey. I liked one song, the one they first record in the studio, and everything else made me a little sick to my stomach, it was so overly sweet. I was a little scared that it would make me like my Frames albums less, but so far so good.

Posted by Kate | February 26, 2008 8:17 PM
35

I've met Glen Hansard. I've had a conversation with the man. There's not an ounce of pretentiousnesses in his body. Or his art. That's why Brendan hates the movie.

A music movie without being pretentious? How can I enjoy it and still have an inflated sense of self? Oh yeah, I'll trash it because most people realize how good it is.

Posted by Danny | February 26, 2008 8:56 PM
36

I'd give that Hungarian broad a ring a ding ding.

Except, whoops, my cazzone seems to have fallen off.

Posted by Frank Sinatra's Reanimated Corpse | February 26, 2008 10:41 PM
37

Nothing you say can dampen my fond memory of Markéta Irglová's hotness at the Oscars.

Posted by Greg | February 26, 2008 10:45 PM
38

@ 26: I didn't know how much I disliked Glen's music until I saw Once. That's what convinced me.

@ 35 and 37: I don't care whether Glen is nice in person or Markéta is hot on TV. That doesn't improve the movie.

@ 29: I learned to hate this movie before it was even released—I wrote that review at very beginning, just after the press screening. So you can't blame me for being reactionary.

The movie stinks, people. That's all there is to it.

Posted by Brendan Kiley | February 27, 2008 10:23 AM
39

eat a bowl of dicks!

Posted by who pays this guy? | February 27, 2008 2:29 PM
40

@38 Released in the states? It had a lot of indi buzz in 2006 before it was released here. but no, i don't actually know if you're being reactionary. However my bigger point is that your subjective review is meaningless and unhelpful. It isn't just that I disagree with you, but when your insights are that you think the leading man is a twit, or that you find the music to be fucking awful, that wouldn't qualify for a prominent imdb review, much less a hip rag that prides itself on its arts coverage. Analyze a little man, I assume you're getting paid for this.

Posted by Alphonse | February 27, 2008 6:00 PM

Comments Closed

In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 14 days old).