Comments on My Cynical Heart Worries This Will Surely Suck...

spoiler: it will suck

have you seen the other Indy sequels, the shitty TV series, the SW movies after Empire? pretty easy call

Nah, it should be great. Enjoyed the Vanity Fair spread on it.

meh, it will probably be better than temple of doom.

http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2008/02/indianajones200802

just read that an hour ago. creepy timing! it doesn't revea a whole lot but it's interesting nonetheless

@3, a broken glass and turpentine enema would be more fun than temple of doom

It will suck, but if we get some hot shots of his seasoned chest, it will be worth it.

The good thing, the thing we already know, is it cannot possibly be worse than Temple of Doom, which is (arguably) the worst movie of all time.

You guys were obviously older than 11 or 12 when Temple Of Doom came o8ut. Indy and Shortround in the mineshaft rollercoaster scene? Incredible!

Hell, Raiders is really the only good Indiana Jones flick. Good thing it was great.

NONE of them were any good, and a geriatric Indy will surely suck.

@7: I wasn't BORN when Temple of Doom came out. And it still sucks.

I enjoyed Temple of Doom when I first saw it, probably because I was nine years old. At that age, I thought Short Round was funny, the bugs were scary, and the pumping heart was awesome. I saw it as an adult and thought the film was: 1) terrible, and 2) one of the most offensive mainstream films I'd ever seen. What's up with George Lucas and his ethnic stereotyping?

I think it's amusing they have to go with a full body-shot instead of a close-up, like they did with the previous posters, because otherwise we'd all realize how freakin' OLD Harrison Ford looks these days.

Should have named it, "Indiana Jones And His Visit To The Medicaid Office"

i just read the vanity article and apparently he was going through a rough divorce at the time, which might explain the worst female character in any movie.

although, temple of doom did yield the greatest animated gif of all time-

http://talbfij.ytmnd.com/

Shia LaBeouf noooooooooooooooo

@12, there were teaser posters for the previous movies that featured a full body shot similar to this, also a teaser poster. Besides, it's an illustration, not a photo - they didn't "have to" design it this way.

Brad, do *not* read that Vanity Fair article - it gives a spoilery hat tip that I wish I hadn't read (but couldn't resist).

@6: Mr. Poe, clearly you have not seen Manos: Hands of Fate.

I got so excited when I scrolled and saw this that I screamed, albeit slightly, in my very silent office. When I coworker saw what I was looking at she said "Oh yeah, I got an orgasm too."

Is that *Manos*...the Hands of Fate? Or, Manos...the *Hands* of Fate?

Let me guess the plot line:

White male "archaeologist" steals cultural relicts from Indigenous group(s).

I'm only curious to see what kind of mountain/image on a gong/rock the Paramount logo fades into.

19: Yes, because "Raiders" and "Last Crusade" were all about stealing indigenous artifacts. Oh wait, they weren't (with the exception of the Peruvian statue). Oh yeah, and "Temple of Doom" was about recovering an indigenous artifact for the people who actually owned it. So what the fuck are you talking about?

Apparently someone doesn't get the concept of pulp homage; the Indiana Jones movies are supposed to be a little hammy and, dare I say, racist and ethnocentric. Attacking Indiana Jones for racism is like attacking "The Venture Bros." It's an homage to serial 1930s pulp, what do you want? Anthropology? Besides, it's well established that the new Indiana Jones movie is about "alien" artifacts, per its 1950s pulp theme.

#21: That was what was great about the first one was the tension that Indy was a tomb theif and had only a thin veneer of acceptability because he was working for a university. And that he and his enemy Beloch (or whatever his name was) were two sides of the same coin.
When they lost that they lost everthing that was interesting about IJ. Like he'll shoot a guy rather than have a fair fight etc.

You think every fucking movie sucks, so why not this one too, Steinsucker???

Indiana Jones and the Golden Bed-Pan?

If there are no Nazis in it, it will suck.

If it doesn't have Nazis, it'll have to have Communists.

I look forward to Muedede's review.

I hear it will have no CGI.
Just wondering how the evil ghosts spirit things flying around will be done.

Oh, fuck yes.