Comments on Memo to That Nice Canadian Girl I Totally Plowed Into Snowboarding Last Week

Sorry about bending your face with my pole.

Anthony, is this like a gigantic Missed Connections ad or what?

Lucky! I totally have a bruise fetish, and that one is SWEET.

NSFW!!! Skin!

The first thing I thought of was that mandala Starbuck painted on her apartment wall in Battlestar Galactica.

Open the bruise up and let some of the bruise blood come out to show them. Come out to show them. Come out to show them.

@2 - must be.

@2 & 7 - No, it's just a chance to show off my pretty bruise. I already got all the women I can possibly deal with (1).

Ha! Shit, I'm in trouble.

@5 - I think I love you.

Echymosis-city. Man, watch that! Couple of years ago while biking around Green Lake, I ran into a park bench and hit my shin really hard. Took forever to heal; finally went to a wound center two months later. Two more months and wound finally healed but not without a lot of grief and discomfort and worry.

At first glance, I thought that you were apologizing for plowing some Canadian girl.

A bruise fetish?? Wow. And here I thought I was the kinky one.

If you look really closely you can see the definite outline of the Virgin Mary holding the Baby Jesus. The dark band skiers right and top is her hood. Jesus is the dark bit low down skiers left.

I presume that since you are a boarder and work for the Stranger, that the sacred apparition is ultimately due to her righteousness and not yours.

I think she was a Brit, Tone.

That's not the small of your back, right?

That's Hot.

@15 - It's my leg.

It really looks pale and unwell. Get it to a tanning booth.

After that thing subsides, of course...

Control your ride, asshole.

Fucking does not hurt if you do it right.

@19 - Yeah, sorry dude. Much as I try, sometimes I do things I didn't mean to do. Can you maybe show me how to stop doing that kind of thing? I'm trying to control my ride--really I am--but I need help. Help me, self-righteous commenter, I don't want to be an asshole.

@18 - Pale != unwell. It's pale because it's winter, and because I'm white.

It's nothing an application of leeches wouldn't fix.

Owwww! That's awesome!

Canadian? She deserved it.

Bright orange and clot-colored hematoma the size of a baby's head splashed across your knee = unwell.

Translucent milky flesh of the walking undead = pale, even for a white guy....

Watch your speed and stay in control.

Aren't you supposed to put a steak on that or something?

Surely you would have seen her from a mile away and given her space. I mean, as a Canadian she should have stood out against all that white snow.

Anthony: @19 didn't put it very nicely, but the point is valid. If you're running into people at a speed that would cause that kind of bruise (even to yourself) you're clearly not riding under control.

5280: Perhaps fetish isn't the most accurate word - I'm not sexually aroused by bruises, per se. I just really, really like them. More than most people. The two weeks after I went paintballing were amazing, because I had some of the most spectacular bruises of my life.

I guess that doesn't sound any less-weird than a sexually-chrged bruise fetish. Oh well.

@ fnarf

I think i love you

i was there, and the girl in question was standing in the middle of a chute on a black diamond run out of view from anyone above her.

she was on a hill that was "too hard" for her, and she rightly admitted she shouldn't have been there at all.

tone, i still have a slight pickle-finger and a nice bruise going on my knee from the wild fire run that almost took me out for the week.

oh and tone was such a nice guy about it that he walked the girl to the shop to buy her new poles.

when they didn't have any, he walked her to the demo center where they straightened out her pole for her.

what a nice guy.

Try a little arnica gel, it often helps. If the knee isn't swollen, a little gentle heat (warm water soaks) might help break up the dead tissue and speed up its removal. (If it's swollen, obviously an icepack is better to bring down the swelling.)

Google 'compartment syndrome' sometime, and see what can happen to a bad bruise on a large muscle. It's NASTY. Saw it happen to a couple people I played soccer with.