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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

If You Read Only One Nine-Thousand Word Essay About Britney Spears This Year…

posted by on February 26 at 9:53 AM


…make it this one.

If there’s a Britney-specific Pulitzer for 2008—and there should be—Vanessa Grigoriadis will win it.

(I’d excerpt a “favorite” bit, but excerpting anything skews the balance of salaciousness unfairly, so if you’re at all interested, read the whole thing. Trust me.)

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"She is not ashamed of her new persona she wants us to know what we did to her."

Uh huh. Did Claus tell you to write that, Vanessa?

Posted by Mr. Poe | February 26, 2008 10:20 AM

I think I'm going to stick with reading no nine-thousand word essays on Britney Spears this year. Or, at least wait until the end of the year, and pick out the best one.

Posted by Aislinn | February 26, 2008 10:25 AM

I am waiting for her death (I am betting she is gone by August 2008) and instead of an essay I will watch the montage of her life during the Grammy's AND listen to people say how talented (cough cough) she was and how much of a loss her death is to all our lives. (puke)

Posted by Andrew | February 26, 2008 10:28 AM

Seriously great article. The story of our age. Britney is now the only celebrity who matters.

Posted by Fnarf | February 26, 2008 10:37 AM

One thing I don't like, though, is the non-specificity of articles like this. It's all "managers" and "handlers" and "the suits" and "the machine" that did these things, but they don't mention their names. I mean, they DO, in a general way, some of them, but I think the businesspeople in Jive and her management company and so on are just as important as individuals as the paparazzi are. That's more interesting to me than a bunch of cars driving up and down Mulholland -- when "management" made her push on instead of taking a break, WHO? What exactly did they say? Were there meetings? Or did some guy with a cigar just tell some other guys to get her out of her trailer, we're going to Minneapolis? I mean, Britney didn't just HAPPEN; she is a manufactured product. By whom?

Posted by Fnarf | February 26, 2008 11:02 AM

I love how the whole article is filled with quotes from "close friends" of Britney.
I also love the first paragraph about Betsey Johnson, I mean, what a coincidence that the "journalist" was there to catch all that!

Posted by D | February 26, 2008 11:03 AM

If she is an American Tragedy, why does she have milllions of dollars more than me?

Posted by get real | February 26, 2008 11:44 AM

Does the articley mention how Rolling Stone prominently displayed Britney's 17-year-old ass cheeks in their pages in 1999? Or is that not part of the tragedy?

Posted by povertyrich | February 26, 2008 11:56 AM

this is the ad that was running when i clicked the link:

Posted by greg | February 26, 2008 12:03 PM

I'm with Aislinn @2. I'm sorry, I just can't bring myself to read this article, or any other article, about Britney. I just simply don't care one whit.

Posted by Reverse Polarity | February 26, 2008 12:09 PM


You aren't missing anything. Don't fret.

Posted by Mr. Poe | February 26, 2008 12:14 PM

"Dude, smell my fingers."

Posted by clarkj | February 26, 2008 12:28 PM

"Meat pole."

Posted by David Schmader | February 26, 2008 12:37 PM

@10 and 2 I was sorely tempted to read it when it showed up in the mailbox, but couldn't do it.

Posted by It's Mark Mitchell | February 26, 2008 12:39 PM

You're right David, it is a fabulous bit of reporting. And I'm loving Rolling Stone more and more lately (Matt Taibbi anyone?) And Brit's latest album Blackout is wonderful too. Would of thunk it possible?

Posted by David K. | February 26, 2008 1:15 PM

David Schmader. Every time you turn the lights out, I just wanna go that extra mile for you.

I'm so glad you are around to share these gems with me. Nothing ruled harder than when Britney screamed, "I don't want her talking to me! I don't know who you think I am, bitch, but I'm not that person." Brilliant!

Posted by Meagan | February 26, 2008 1:23 PM

Nope...sorry...can't read anymore than half. Besides, most people, I think, could see this coming.

What life has a happy ending that involves only a junior high education, bent parental guidance, selling yourself as the promise of heterosexual, wet, virgin pussy at sixteen or seventeen, and trying to cope with the perception of being damaged goods once you aren't seventeen (or virginal) anymore?

She should have taken her millions at twenty, dropped out of sight, attended the Sorbonne, and enjoyed the fruits of all that bumping and grinding in quiet dignity. If she'd been older when she started, she might have had the life experience (and observational skills) to know that nothing lasts forever.

Posted by Bauhaus | February 26, 2008 3:44 PM

Andrew @ 3, she's going to hang on til the end of the year so she can join the club of dead 27-year-old rock stars (article sez her birthday is 12/02/1981). So anytime between this year's birthday and next's.

Posted by Matt from Denver | February 27, 2008 12:26 AM

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