Film I Am Now Extremely Excited For Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
posted by on February 21 at 13:29 PM
Each year, movie studios spend millions on sending lame promotional gimmicks to media outlets. In the past, The Stranger has received (among other things) a bloody foot for the remake of The Hills Have Eyes…
…a pair of panties for John Tucker Must Die…
…and a Nerf football (perplexingly) for Rambo…
It’s all useless crap (except for the milkshake for There Will Be Blood, which was delicious), and serves nothing but making Annie Wagner’s cubicle even messier than it already is.
Today, however, I received a package from Paramount Pictures that really stood out…
It was for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and the label claimed the package contained an “Indiana Jones DVD” and “Indiana Jones leather whip.”
But when I opened it up, all that was inside was a pound of sand.
Thanks, Paramount. Let your marketing department know they at least got a Slog post out of their little fuck up.
Update: Damn you Mola Ram! Earlier today, Adam Sekuler from the Northwest Film Forum sent me a cryptic email that said:
Throw me the idol and I’ll throw you the whip.
Confused, I replied:
Dr. Jones, again we see there is nothing you can possess which I cannot take away.
To which he replied:
You’re digging in the wrong place.
As it turns out, the promo package sent for me was delivered to NW Film Forum by mistake — and now the scoundrels are holding my “Indiana Jones leather whip” hostage.
My apologies to the fine folks in Paramount’s marketing department. As for Northwest Film Forum…I shall have my revenge!
Did you investigate the sand? There could be some blow in there. Or, you know, some trap.
damn good promotion. do you realize the meaning in that? a DVD and whip of the movie would be worth a golden idol head... see? see? see???? now you have to get out alive before the ball runs you down like Mario in Donkey Kong!
I repeat... Throw me the idol and I'll throw you the whip.
Mayhaps this is the film industry's version of getting a lump of coal in your stocking on X-mas morning?
I think the sand implies someone in the Paramount mailroom decided to swap out your whip/DVD with sand of the exact weight so none would be the wiser and they could make a hefty profit on eBay.
Careful! Remember what happened when Belloq and his Nazi enablers only found "sand" in the Ark of the Covenant!
No! Get it? Its like when they opened the lost ark and all that was in it was sand! You're lucky your face didn't melt like some SS goon.
I don't think it's a fuckup. I think they're telling you to pound sand.
Just be happy that you weren't wiped clean by the Wrath of God.
In the opening scenes of the first movie Jones uses sand to swap out the Golden Idol. Maybe it is a really elaborate contest. Have you got the right amount of sand or will you be crushed by the giant stone ball?
Start the chant: Stone ball! Stone ball!
http://nwfilmforum.wordpress.com/2008/02/21/bradley-steinbacher%e2%80%99s-indiana-jones-whip/
jesus h. christ the planet is dying & we're at war for oil, & they're wasting jet &/or truck fuel shipping pounds of sand?
I have your shrunken head and I'm using it for bowling for Obama tomorrow night.
Next time pick up your mail in person.
Thats awesome. I know I'm the NM film girl on the slog, but this new india jones movie was filmed in NM.
To keep it under wraps they called it "The Genre Project".
I'm inclined to agree with Mr. Joshua. It sounds like someone along the way took the contents and replaced them with sand so it still had a shipping weight.
When the Nazis opened the Ark of the Covenant, all they found was sand.
Then the avenging angels whupped their Nazi asses....
Don't you have an army of squirrels or some shit to take care of this?
This movie will only be good if it really turns out to be Laser Floyd.
i choose to believe is the sand that was used to replace the idol. i think it's clever. and even if an employee switched it out -- just like indy did so many years ago -- then that's clever, too. they could have used anything. but using sand, despite it being more difficult than using a belt, is genius.
Bradley Steinbacher, Indiana Jones, and a whip. Let the fan fiction commence!
That's brilliant. If only Paramount's marketing department _had_ thought to do that... maybe they should hire the folks at NW Film Forum.
Dammit, I had a great response to that, and Fnarf beat me to it in @8. Damn this being-at-work stuff.
I don't know what "idol" they're referring to. I think they want those panties.
@12, Thats kind of why I'm proud to be an American.
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