Comments on Flaunting Your Wifestyle

I hope she said no.

That Kent guy looks like a youth minister to me... I'm just sayin...

Well, yeah, but heterosexuality is like normal. :-)

Nothing says love like cheap newsprint!

but if we didn't flaunt our lifestyle, there wouldn't be any reason for nerdy, weird, 'straight' boys to play "Gay Chicken".

Repulsive!!

Funny, there was an Ask Carolyn (or whateverthefuckhernameis) in the Times about this today... Some mom from Iowa writing in about her ostentatiously lesbian daughter and her obnoxiously lesbian friends "taking over" her house. Carolyn was like, "Is your problem that she's lesbian or is your problem that she's taking over?"

Soooo.....

Your answer is "because we hate that Kent guy so much?"

Seems a little extreme.

Gay men do flaunt themselves. This is a fact. It hurts their cause. This is a fact.

Until the gay community accepts that it is hurting their cause, that type of behaviour will continue to marginalize any support they have with mainstream society.

Either clean up your ranks or suffer.

The choice is yours.

I'm flaunting myself right now...AND it FEEELS so damned GOOOOOOD!

When we heterosexuals stop flaunting (i.e., displaying everywhere) our sexuality, I'll fully expect homosexuals to stop flaunting theirs.

"Flaunting it" may hurt our cause Reality Check, but I'm afaid the other option of blending in and recloseting ourselves to please a bunch of homophobes would effectively destroy our cause entirely. Hence, we'll keep right along flaunting, thanks.

@9 You are so full of crap, homosexuality is invisible compared to the hegemony of heterosexuality. Statistically open homosexuals are around 3-15% of the population depending on the city, does the openness of their conduct come even close to the level of public displays that breeders do (i.e. holding hands, public kissing)?

your point is made most excellently, but I fear it will be lost on the type of dumbshit that asks why fags have to be so goddamn faggy.

Also, LMAO @ 2, 8 & 10...

Oh yeah, and that Kent dude is a TOTAL DOUCHEBAG.

That is all.

"Gay men do flaunt themselves. This is a fact. It hurts their cause. This is a fact."

What the f*#k do you think our "cause" is, numbnuts?

#9 is right on. God, if only The Gays weren't so... gay all the time, then straight people wouldn't have a problem. But you know what's really bad about homosexuality? It's the way that The Gays are always oppressing the straight folks, telling them off for being forced to think about hetero sex every time they see a couple holding hands in the park. Can you believe that? Plus there's all that gay sex on TV, in movies, in books, on the internet... it's just flooding over everything, drowning out any mention of hetero sex anywhere.

Would have been a better front page for the paper if he asked her to marry him while he was porking another woman.

On June 29th Sunday 2008 I would like every homo man and woman and everyone in between to come and flaunt they-big-bad-lifestyle fetish at the "Running of the Gays" as Ms. Martina would say, at the 4th Ave Pride Parade. As #9 would say this really hurts our cause but it's so much fun that we can plan to see "Reality Check" there too!

So, Kent, I suppose you're gonna breed with your 'wife' after your shameless public "wedding". And gross out your colleagues with your filthy "at the weekend I'm taking my wife out to dinner". Yecch! Couldn't you at least pretend she's just your roommate, you breeder! Why rub our noses in your kinky man-on-woman practices?

Well, it seriously is ignorance, and maybe friendly. I know it seems obvious to you (and to me now), but we breeders brought up in small towns among only breeders and closeted gays ask that question all the time until Dan's obvious point is explained to us, in an "oooooh" moment (that is a realization moment, not an orgasmic one). Bruce Bawer made the argument well, and for those of us who may understand and accept now, we may feel ashamed or guilty for asking such a "stupid" question around our gay brothers/ friends/ etc in our ignorant teenage years. So while frustrating, it very well may come from a future member of Pflag or HRC.

I am supporting an initiative to BAN MAN/WOMAN marriages. This sick "lifestyle" of men marrying women MUST be stopped!! It is destroying our lives and my relationship with my boyfriend of 4 months.

The people who flaunt it the most are the self-important ones always talking through their invisible bluetooth wireless cell phones to god-only-knows who. They're everywhere, on the street, in elevators, on buses, in cars (when they're supposed to be paying attention to the road), on bikes, in canoes and kayaks and on ferries. Yikes, that's flaunting it. A walk down Broadway or anywhere near the Hill is refreshing by contrast.

the background on that photo is hideous.

To flaunt simply means to perform an exaggerated display for the purpose of attracting attention.

It is NOT the same thing as attracting attention without trying to do so.

For example: guy with horrible birthmark on face goes about his business in the middle of the day - everyone notices it, pukes, is grossed out, whatever. But because that's not his objective, he's not really "flaunting" that birthmark. Of course he knows people will see it. It probably bothers him, but he goes on with life and refuses to make ridiculous efforts to keep everyone else comfortable.

Ditto with gay stuff. Getting inadvertently noticed - even if you know it's probably going to happen - is not the same as flaunting.

How the f*ck are gays and lesbians ever supposed to meet each other if they don't "flaunt" the fact that they're gay?

Should women all cut their hair short and wear menswear to avoid "flaunting" their femininity?

Are black people obligated to act/dress/talk like white people in order to eliminate racism? Should all cultural difference be erased to help further the cause of people who aren't white and straight?

Integration beats invisibility any day. Just because it ain't easy doesn't mean it ain't worth it.

Yeah, 25, but when you ask people what they mean by gays and lesbians "flaunting their lifestyle," they mean having parades, being out of the closet, mentioning their partners in casual conversation, wanting to get married, starting families, etc. "Don't flaunt your lifestyle" is code for "don't be out of the closet," not "don't be a flamer." Because by "lifestyle" they mean "homosexuality," not "flaming homosexuality." You can be butch, pass for straight, wear nothing bright or colorful, but the minute you say, "My boyfriend is a DJ," they say, "Stop flaunting your lifestyle!"

I guess I should first THANK HGTV for including gay couples on their shows.

But I notice the homo couples never touch or hold hands or kiss - unlike the hetero couples who are at it constantly.

No, I'm not offended by breeders showing affection. But I hope - maybe next year - HGTV will open up a bit more and let the homos be affectionate on camera, too.

Are black people obligated to act/dress/talk like white people in order to eliminate racism?

Some people think so.

I love it when people who believe all manner of non-sense tell me what's "natural". Being proud of who you are and living life the way you like isn't "flaunting" anything except a belief that you are a free American who doesn't take orders from religious morons. Nuff said?

Why do people feel that a marriage proposal is a public event? Why do they feel that I need to know about it? I don't. It's a private matter between two people and perhaps their families. I think a grandstand marriage proposal is about as tacky as if, four years later, the wife were to go on TV and announce to the world, "You're suffocating me. I want a divorce."

Maybe the guy meant flaunting how much more sex gay men get than he does. Could just be sour grapes, y'know.

This paper is a Canadian backwoods weekly, isn't it? How else do rural pig farmers connect? This guy is just hoping there's someone out there named Lydia that desperately wants to get married. Best of luck to him.

From the article:
"Kent’s business card was drawn from the jar, which made him the lucky winner of a full-page advertisement
in The Pioneer, designed by Will McKenzie at Harrison McKay Communications.
“That’s where I got the idea,” Kent said. “I was trying to think of doing something different, and
when I won the prize I knew that had to be it.” Although we don’t sell the front page, we decided to allow Kent to use it for such a romantic
purpose."

IT WAS FREE! That makes it so much more romantic!
I.
so.
want.
him.

Jesus Christ! Is that a black vest and tie over a green shirt? That's the real travesty here.

Didn't Zero Mostef peg this in The Producers?
"If you got it baby, flaunt it, flaunt it!"

Good advice we should all be brave enough to take.

The truth hurts. I'm sure most everyone has witnessed rejection in the past on some level, whether it be societal or personal.

The point is, that by flaunting your agenda... yes it is an agenda, you are marginalizing any modicum of support by those who are neutral to your goal(s).

By trying to be "in someone's face" via displaying outlandish behavior, you turn off people who might have otherwise supported you. This is the little detail you are missing.

You have to understand that the VAST majority of the general public has NO desire to understand, learn, or accept you.

Is homosexuality nature or nurture?

Depending on your answer, either way your argument doesn't hold water. If you say it is nature, the species wouldn't survive. You are a product of the very thing you rail against, which is heterosexuality. YOU wouldn't be here if you had gay parents, as YOU wouldn't have been able to be conceived.

If you answer nuture, then you agree that social factors are in play that have developed you into your sexual preference. That isn't a very good political tact to win arguments with either.

You can try to mock or ridicule this post, but you cannot mock the logic in it.

You will never win widespread societal acceptance unless you convert moderates who are the fence over to your corner. Having outlandish displays of affection, "flaunting" at Gay parades, etc... do not address your issue. Sure they seem like fun and a chance to express yourself with like minded people.

But if your goal is to gain mainstream acceptance, you will not do so by offending the majority.

Those of you who are politically active should be agreeing with my logic on this.

Or are you afraid to admit that we may be right?

People like commenter #37 are the most dangerous type--feigned support. Hate veiled in tolerance.

Many people seem to consider it "flaunting" an "unnatural lifestyle" for two same-sex partners to hold hands, exchange a good-bye kiss at the airport, have a picture of their partner on their desk at work, or ever in any way, acknowledge publicly that they have a same-sex partner. People with that attitude make me tired. If gayfolk have to look at the picture of your spouse on your desk, hear about your het conquests over the weekend, see you basically dry-humping in the park, then you, too, are "flaunting" your "lifestyle." Either all PDAs and mentions of having a spouse or partner are banned or they're all okay.

And talking about a Pride parade being "shoving it in people's face" is absurd beyond belief. Last I checked, Pride was optional; no one who doesn't want to see happy dancing men in lime-green thongs or smiling butch women in leathers needs to go look at them.

Some straight people really don't want to ever have to admit that gayfolks even exist. Well, sorry, people, to bust your happy little Donna Reed bubble, but the world moved on without you. And people like me, who grew up with two deeply closeted moms, are very very grateful that it has moved on. Forcing people into closets, now THAT's an unnatural act.

#37 A 14 yr old boy was recently shot & killed by a schoolmate for "flaunting" his sexuality. Was he responsible for his own death or was it the fault of an intrinsically homophobic society that HATES us! If it wasn't for those of us Gays that where too faggoty to pass as straight then we would be in the same place we were at pre-stonewall. In the closet fearing for our jobs, homes, families and LIVES! And, sadly enough, in most of the US we still live in fear for our lives. You are just arrogant. And as for your tired nuture/nature argument, are you aware that homosexuality is found all through nature in many different species so obviously homosexuality serves some evolutionay purpose or it would no longer exist in % that it does. Obviously our not breeding is helpful to those of us that do produce offspring. #38 is right on. You would be fine with us Gays if we would just shut up and stop bringing up the fact that some of us are not like you.

Also # 37 whats being discussed is not railing against heterosexuality but heterosexism. Too totally different things.

"You have to understand that the VAST majority of the general public has NO desire to understand, learn, or accept you." @37

I call shenanigans on this. The vast majority of people I know accept or tolerate homosexual people. (I know tolerate is a different thing than acceptance, but at least those who tolerate are trying not to be assholes.) While they may no all have the same supportive values that I have, they are willing to be civil human beings to those who have different ideas from them.

The problem is the loud homophobes who normalize their own behavior. These people rationalize their own personal issues with homosexuality by saying that homosexuality is not natural, not ok or tolerable by most people, and the like. I say "personal issue", because hiding behind your religion, "morals" or whatever is crap. If you're gonna be a bigot, you have to take ownership of it.

I am a heterosexual woman who was raised Catholic. I didn't meet an openly gay person until I went to college. I totally agree with you that gay people have an agenda. They should. I have the exact same agenda- to be allowed to fuck who I want to fuck, love who I want to love, hold hands with who I want to hold hands with and not have people talking shit about it, or making laws against it, or being allowed to discriminate against me because they get all squishy inside when they think about what organization of innie and outie parts my partner and I have.

@35 you did notice his vest has a collar?

@37:

Your understanding of genetics is limited and simplistic. Please stop pretending that you even understand enough to ask the right questions about the genetics of same-sex attraction.

Some friends of mine and I were once mocked as breeders by a couple of guys in assless chaps -- of course that was several year ago when we were trying to cross Market Street after the SF Pride Parade.

Just ban all PDA.

@37: Sometimes I just don't know where to begin.

First, are you 'neutral' to the goals of the 'gay agenda' ? Said agenda is what, exactly? To let people live how they want to live, love who they want to love, and not get beaten up or fired or kicked out of their homes just because you didn't give them permission to be different? Are you neutral to those goals? Gay people get beaten up, even killed, all the time, just because the attackers were afraid of their sexuality. Can you possibly be neutral to that issue?

Second, the difference between 'acceptance' and 'tolerance' is important to this discussion. You don't have to like gay people, but you do have to mind your own business and let them be.

Third, the question of nature versus nurture. Science still hasn't really found a convincing answer for why some people are gay. However, does it matter? If you assume that it is an innate biological quirk, then gayness should no more be discriminated against than race, sex, or age. If, on the other hand, it is a choice, then it should be protected by the First Amendment like religion, political views, etc. Though I will say this: the spectacular failure of every 'ex-gay' program ever created lends credence to the biology side.

My personality is basically conservative, but egalitarian. As I see it, gay people do no harm by their simply being and expressing gayness; and therefore, the conservative position is that their rights to be themselves should be just as protected as anyone else's rights to be themselves. Yes, gay PDA's catch my attention faster, just because they're less common; but so do interracial couples. It's not a big deal. Oh, in case it wasn't clear, I'm not gay, nor even bi. My conservative position is that it's silly to have two different bits of bureaucracy to do the same thing, so civil unions are silly, just call it marriage, use the same laws that we've spent time and effort working out and let everyone marry the person they want to marry. Viva small government and individual liberty!

Re: genetics and gays, it's irrelevant from a moral standpoint whether gayness is genetic. First, there's some evidence that the female relatives of gay men produce more children, thus there may be some gene(s) which increase fertility enough in women to make the gay male outcome irrelevant as far as selection goes. Two, lots of gay people have kids, even their very own biological kids; and that will be more and more true as our ability to manipulate our biology becomes better. So, it's perfectly possible that homosexuality is genetic. Certainly my poor eyesight was inheirited from my mother; despite the fact that through thousands of years of evolution bad eyes made it more difficult to find food and identify dangers. Third, homosexuality is common amoung many animals, and they don't have (in general) our focus on nature versus nurture; makes it pretty likely it's nature in my book. But then, for our species, nurture is natural, is it not?

A note for Reality Check:

Look, all a gay person has to do in order to be murdered is have a crush on the wrong person. With gays, "flaunting" is defined as pretty much anything the hets do every day. I mean, can you imagine what would happen if some gay man tried to propose to his boyfriend on the front page of the Columbia Valley Pioneer?

Oh, right. He can't. They're not allowed to get married because one of them is the "wrong" sex.

Look, there's almost no useful analog that doesn't upset the hetmongers, but history is full of occasions when someone made the excuse that a cause was hurt because someone else was noticeable. One of the things that hurts the bigots' cause is that they're willing to say, "We're bigot prigs, but since we have the empowerment advantage, we can be, so suck it!"

It may make the bigots feel good to fight so hard to keep sex discrimination as an American value ("The only ass that should be fucked is a woman's!"), but in the end, you all live in fear while stoking the fires of disdain and resistance that keep so many of your victims warm at night.

"Clean up your ranks or suffer .... The choice is yours." No, it's not. Because two-penny whore bigots don't give a damn if gays "clean up their ranks". They'll only be satisfied when gays are so damn "cleaned up" that self-righteous hetmongers can pretend homosexuals don't exist. Well, unless they're twin sisters licking one another in a porn movie because lesbians are all incestuous, anyway, and there's only one reason women do those things to one another, right? And that's to get ready for their duties as cock-servants.

His expression made me laugh out loud. Does he have to look so surprised? Isn't that her job?

@ 42 : "I call shenanigans on this." - Too funny!

@ 37 : I second the shenanigans. What VAST majority? Maybe it's that I'm from Canada, but every single person I know (and, funny enough, a VAST majority of people I know are heterosexual, like me) believes that homosexual people are entitled to every right and responsibility that heterosexual people have. My mom, dad, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, friends and co-workers are ALL supportive of HUMAN rights, not hetero rights.

Oh, and homosexual people have bio-kids all the time, through in vitro, artificial insemination, etc. Plus, if all of human beings' destructive traits should have been weeded out by now, why are there still so many bigoted, ignorant assholes out there? No one wants to sleep with those people, haven't they been weeded out yet?

Maybe just in Canada...

By the by, this whole "flaunting" thing seems pretty ridiculous. Where I come from, every year we have a festival called "Folklorama", where people get to set up venues to celebrate their ethnicity - Carribean pavilions, Scottish pavillions, Indo Chinese pavilions, etc (45 pavilions in all!) Are these people "flaunting" their ethnicity? Hells no, they're celebrating it and they're sharing it! Everyone has a right to feel good about who they are, and to want to share it with the people around them.

And for the record, no one only goes to "their" pavilion exclusively - Everyone goes to as many pavilions as they can to experience everyone's culture.