Slog - Comments on Pooper Tuesday http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought Does this happen to other people: You have to take a dump, and you go sit on the toilet. And you feel yourself... part with something significant. Something considerable. You're sure of it. You were distinctly conscious of its leave taking--distinctly--and it was no small matter. But when you look down into the toilet... there's nothing there. I assume this phenomenon has something to do with trajectory and velocity, with form and function, with bowl design and bottom position. Does this happen to others? Or is it just me? If it does happen to others, it seems to me... Copyright 2008 Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:46:07 -0800 Wed, 06 Feb 2008 11:17:38 -0800 http://www.movabletype.org/?v=3.34 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Comment by Boomer in NYC Your butt is supposed to sit on the toilet, not your head.

]]> Boomer in NYC http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925498 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925498 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 17:49:44 -0800 Comment by mickey in AR Yeah I am not Alone!!!

]]> mickey in AR http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925500 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925500 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 17:50:48 -0800 Comment by You_Gotta_Be_Kidding_Me A "huckabee" perhaps?

]]> You_Gotta_Be_Kidding_Me http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925502 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925502 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 17:51:28 -0800 Comment by Chris This phenomenon is often referred to as "ghost shit," or as my high school world history teacher Mr. Malchow called it, "ghost poopie."

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ghost+turd

]]> Chris http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925504 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925504 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 17:51:59 -0800 Comment by banjoboy http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=phantom+poo

]]> banjoboy http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925512 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925512 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 17:54:30 -0800 Comment by adrian santorum

]]> adrian http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925514 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925514 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 17:55:34 -0800 Comment by left coast Sometimes it's hiding down the pipe. Fluash and watch. Please keep us posted.

]]> left coast http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925519 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925519 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 17:57:17 -0800 Comment by Bauhaus Very often caused by dehydration. Not enough fluids to move things along, so something small feels like something very big.

Hydrate, D.

]]> Bauhaus http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925522 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925522 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 18:00:06 -0800 Comment by Jubilation T. Cornball Aside from the sock missing in the dryer, this has been one of the great mysteries of my life. I was always too afraid to discuss it. You, Dan, in a Huffingtonian way, are fearless. Thank you. This was a personal breakthrough.

]]> Jubilation T. Cornball http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925524 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925524 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 18:01:22 -0800 Comment by Mr. X I'd call it a Giuliani - like his campaign, it disappeared without a trace.

]]> Mr. X http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925526 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925526 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 18:02:44 -0800 Comment by Andrew That's the old phantom feces... or maybe its "phantom pheces". Though, I don't think that misspelling for the sake of alliteration makes for good nomenclature.

]]> Andrew http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925574 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925574 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 18:09:28 -0800 Comment by chicagogaydude You need a German toilet.

http://www.banterist.com/archivefiles/000212.html

]]> chicagogaydude http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925591 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925591 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 18:11:34 -0800 Comment by mike long yes Dan, this happens to others - it's called ghost poopie.

]]> mike long http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925629 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925629 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 18:16:58 -0800 Comment by blah Yeah, I've always called it "the phantom"

]]> blah http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925645 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925645 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 18:20:28 -0800 Comment by mac That, sir, is the finest euphemism I've heard in recent memory. I submit "part with something significant" to the "reasonably popular but not annoyingly so" vaults of the English language.

]]> mac http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925692 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925692 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 18:28:17 -0800 Comment by Ryan No.

]]> Ryan http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925716 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925716 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 18:33:26 -0800 Comment by Ari Spool Pics, please!

]]> Ari Spool http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925758 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925758 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 18:42:40 -0800 Comment by Essex We knew this was coming - just a matter of time, and Dan wanting to share tooooo much.

I have no answers, and can't even conceive what you are talking about.

Taking a shit is taking a shit. And the shit is just there with the glory of a thousand variations.

Talk to your doctors...both the butt doctor and the head doctor.

]]> Essex http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925766 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925766 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 18:44:34 -0800 Comment by MrEdCT I don't need to hear about another bowel movement of yours Dan.

]]> MrEdCT http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925775 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925775 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 18:45:32 -0800 Comment by Gitai Are you stoned today?

]]> Gitai http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925789 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925789 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 18:48:41 -0800 Comment by AshPlant It's blatantly and obviously a side effect of getting fucked up the arse. Ahem.

]]> AshPlant http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925802 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925802 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 18:52:15 -0800 Comment by sockknome You're shitting out pieces of your soul.

]]> sockknome http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925836 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925836 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 19:00:28 -0800 Comment by poop fairy This is a classic case of a "ghost shit"

]]> poop fairy http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925844 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925844 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 19:02:52 -0800 Comment by Iceberg My college roommate had a Shit List poster that accurately accounted for every possible type out there, with illustrations. No, you're not alone. Yes, it's the Ghost shit. Not to be confused with the Phantom (that's when it appears mysteriously and noone will admit who put it there).

The real head scratcher is: why is your pee so freakin green, Dan?!?

]]> Iceberg http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925893 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925893 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 19:14:50 -0800 Comment by Lee D:

]]> Lee http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925964 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c925964 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 19:33:07 -0800 Comment by Brooklyn Reader The Immaculate Defecation?

]]> Brooklyn Reader http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926010 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926010 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 19:45:46 -0800 Comment by Catman It only happens to bottom boys.

]]> Catman http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926025 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926025 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 19:50:17 -0800 Comment by Catman Seriously, thanks for bringing this up. It's happened to me on a variety of toilets the last few years.

]]> Catman http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926030 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926030 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 19:51:38 -0800 Comment by Bento What's really weird is how often the 'phantom faeces' coincides with the cleanskin wipe. Spooky.

]]> Bento http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926043 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926043 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 19:55:25 -0800 Comment by MRP I generally call it constipation. Try eating more fiber.

]]> MRP http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926119 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926119 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 20:30:44 -0800 Comment by hairyson Obama just said: "The movement is real" to great applause.

]]> hairyson http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926155 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926155 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 20:51:25 -0800 Comment by sarita I agree with the Poop Fairy, except I use a slightly more delicate term: "ghost poop." Dan, you are NOT alone.

]]> sarita http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926184 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926184 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 21:06:08 -0800 Comment by sarita I agree with the Poop Fairy, except I use a slightly more delicate term: "ghost poop." Dan, you are NOT alone.

]]> sarita http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926185 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926185 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 21:06:09 -0800 Comment by Gurldoggie In my family we call it "sending a message to michael."

]]> Gurldoggie http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926323 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926323 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 22:10:54 -0800 Comment by Robert Yes, we are not alone, we all huckabee from time to time (depending on toilet design).

Proposal: "To huckabee"-a have a bowel movement that apparently has disappeared into a toilet due to the design of the exit pipe and the trajectory of extrusion.

]]> Robert http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926337 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926337 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 22:19:43 -0800 Comment by Mrs. Jarvie LOL of the day. Thank you Dan.

]]> Mrs. Jarvie http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926351 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926351 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 22:27:38 -0800 Comment by SeattleBrad It's called flatulence.

By the way, I have a new word:
crap'nel: n. The popcorn hull you find when you're washing your butt after a night of eating popcorn.

]]> SeattleBrad http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926352 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926352 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 22:29:02 -0800 Comment by RHETT ORACLE Who's the woman whose book titles all begin with an initial - Sue Grafton? "X-Creta U-ve S-caped A-gain". Must B A D-laid Superbowl Phenom. Your post sounds as if it were written by William's sister, Sharon Tell. Stop it!

]]> RHETT ORACLE http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926359 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926359 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 22:36:09 -0800 Comment by Shit ANALyst As anyone who has ever accidentally dropped a coin in a toilet can tell you, it was probably an exceptionally dense turd that sank straight to the bottom like a quarter, settling neatly in the very bottom of the bowl. As you flush, watch. I wouldn't be surprised if your turd gives you one last peek before beginning her long trip to the Pacific. It's kind of like tapping the glass of an eel exhibit at the aquarium to get the nasty buggers to poke their heads out.

By the by, your toilet water is green like antifreeze...

]]> Shit ANALyst http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926408 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926408 Life Tue, 05 Feb 2008 23:16:59 -0800 Comment by ecce homo Call it an ECB


A big ole' turd hiding from the real world.

]]> ecce homo http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926485 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926485 Life Wed, 06 Feb 2008 00:58:45 -0800 Comment by Aaron christ, savage.

]]> Aaron http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926492 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926492 Life Wed, 06 Feb 2008 01:04:29 -0800 Comment by saxfanatic Yeah, I've been there: feeling empty, with a poignant longing for closure.

]]> saxfanatic http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926517 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926517 Life Wed, 06 Feb 2008 03:05:46 -0800 Comment by mattro2.0 Perhaps you should talk to Kimya Dawson for some advice.

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=121734

]]> mattro2.0 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926608 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926608 Life Wed, 06 Feb 2008 07:36:52 -0800 Comment by Alex Huckabee: When shit disappears.

Instead of asking "do you swallow?" You can simply ask "Huckabee?" so you know it's ok to shoot in the strangers mouth behind the bushes.

When you're getting a blow job in a video booth and all your jizz disappears into the mouth at the side of the wood paneling, he's Huck-a-beed all of your semen.

When a prostitute/hustler/Rent-Boy steals all of your belongings you can simply say, "he Huck-a-beed all of my shit."

]]> Alex http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926627 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926627 Life Wed, 06 Feb 2008 08:03:21 -0800 Comment by michael strangeways I call those "Hoffas", as in Jimmy.

]]> michael strangeways http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926829 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926829 Life Wed, 06 Feb 2008 10:30:23 -0800 Comment by michael strangeways or Earhardts...or, if you're in the mood to be really obscure, "Judge Craters"

]]> michael strangeways http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926832 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926832 Life Wed, 06 Feb 2008 10:31:21 -0800 Comment by John_Bigboote Or the opposite, when you think not much has happened, only to find a baseball bat has somehow appeared in the bowl.

]]> John_Bigboote http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926886 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/02/deep_in_thought#c926886 Life Wed, 06 Feb 2008 11:17:38 -0800