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Thursday, February 7, 2008

Cell Phone Use Tied to Poorer Semen Quality

posted by on February 7 at 16:04 PM

According to a new study

In a study of 361 men seen at their infertility clinic, researchers at the Cleveland Clinic found an association between the patients’ cell phone use and their sperm quality.

On average, the more hours the men spent on their cell phones each day, the lower their sperm count and the greater their percentage of abnormal sperm.

No word on the impact of cell phone use on fragrance, mouth feel, finish, or aftertaste.

RSS icon Comments

1

gross followup commentary.

Posted by johnnie | February 7, 2008 4:14 PM
2

Guess you'll have to conduct that study yourself. Hey, maybe you could get federal funding for it.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | February 7, 2008 4:16 PM
3

semen is so gross i don't even like jerking off.

Posted by max solomon | February 7, 2008 4:23 PM
4

What exactly is "abnormal sperm"? Are we talking 2-3 tails? More ovary penetrating power...?

Posted by iwanttobealion | February 7, 2008 4:24 PM
5

Personally, I find it distracting if they try to talk on a cell phone while they're doing me.

Maybe it's just me, but seriously, I think we should all try to enjoy it - or at least appear to - if we're going down on our partner ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | February 7, 2008 4:28 PM
6

Its called birth control, papal approved no less

Posted by vooodooo84 | February 7, 2008 4:33 PM
7

"...the more HOURS the men spent on their cell phones each day..."

I don't think I've ever spent hours on the cell phone in any one day, even when producing a film.

Posted by doctiloquus | February 7, 2008 4:43 PM
8

Correlation does not imply causation.  Maybe the guys spending hours on their cell phone have high-stress careers and are chronically sleep deprived?

Posted by lostboy | February 7, 2008 4:47 PM
9

Good point, lostboy. Let's do a scientifically-designed study ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | February 7, 2008 5:17 PM
10

Should be a headline in the onion:

"Study of confounding factors hampered by confounding factors"

Posted by Greg | February 7, 2008 5:22 PM
11

Does this study apply to text messaging, as well?

Posted by NapoleonXIV | February 7, 2008 6:01 PM
12

I'm willing to bet the type of people who use their cell phones a lot are the same types of people who, you know, are desperately trying to compensate for other... ahem... deficiencies.

Posted by Gomez | February 7, 2008 6:30 PM
13

This means that the US Navy should immediately BAN all cellphones from serving personnel on all US ships. We cannot afford a drop in the quality of the nations semen! (sic)

Posted by Alex | February 7, 2008 6:51 PM
14

Ok, FINISH? Ya lost me.

Posted by violet_dagrinder | February 7, 2008 7:55 PM
15

Damn! Lostboy beat me to it.

If cell phone use makes semen weak, then the world decrease in pirates is making the planet hotter.

Posted by Aya | February 7, 2008 8:25 PM
16

How about a cross between semen and The Pepsi Challenge?

Posted by Andy Niable | February 7, 2008 8:59 PM
17

I am with @8 and @9. This study is useless. The men self-selected. Come on, they were already going to a fertility clinic. It is not really a stretch to suspect that their semen quality is going to be low to begin with.

Once again sensationalism wins over actual science. Meh.

Posted by Martin | February 7, 2008 10:49 PM
18

This doesn't bode well for my radioactive children's super powers.

What kind of super suit would "Captain Speed-Dial" wear do you think?

Posted by Colton | February 7, 2008 11:09 PM
19

I don't ever again want to read a sentence about semen that has the words "mouth feel" in it. BLARG!

Posted by sorryroger | February 8, 2008 9:14 AM
20

Dan, you should really put together a group of sommeliers for that kind of study.

Posted by Greg | February 8, 2008 10:04 AM

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