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Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Breaking News! Gary Coleman is Secretly Married!

posted by on February 12 at 14:03 PM

Ok, maybe it’s not news, but it is hitting the tabloids today.

gary_coleman.jpg

Of marriage, he says, “It’s not a picnic, dude.”

She says, “He lets his anger conquer him sometimes. He throws things around, and sometimes he throws it in my direction… I don’t like the violence.”

Ah, romance!

RSS icon Comments

1

for one of the few times in my life, words fail me...

oh, like hell they do; that's a really homely couple! And whatthehell is she using for make-up? I wasn't aware that Covergirl made a shade called "Khaki Mist"?

Posted by michael strangeways | February 12, 2008 2:22 PM
2

I don't know why, but I can't stop laughing. How rude.

Posted by Mr. Poe | February 12, 2008 2:27 PM
3

He should be arrested for animal cruelty. You can't just go around throwing things at a horse like that!!!

Posted by muckfetro | February 12, 2008 2:31 PM
4

That is one ugly couple..damn that is ugly.

But at least they will have his anger to keep the love alive!

Posted by Andrew | February 12, 2008 2:31 PM
5

he married molly ringwald?!

Posted by adrian! | February 12, 2008 2:35 PM
6

@1, BTW, that is not "Khaki Mist" it's called "Jaundice Sunrise"

Gee, learn your Covergirl Products already!

Posted by Andrew | February 12, 2008 2:38 PM
7

Really gives horse face a whole new meaning.

Posted by Giffy | February 12, 2008 2:39 PM
8

their children will look like condoleeza rice.

Posted by adrian | February 12, 2008 2:39 PM
9

Russian mail-order dreams do come true!

Posted by Dave | February 12, 2008 2:40 PM
10

when the savage muslim hordes impose sharia, their marriage will be illegal.

Posted by bing | February 12, 2008 2:40 PM
11

Come on, Kelly, admit it - you're just jealous.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | February 12, 2008 2:43 PM
12

is there something wrong with me for thinking she's not that ugly? he could certainly do worse. alright, so her teeth are kinda jacked, and she could use a little lip repositioning surgery, but for a washed up pseudo-star in his 40s who still hasn't hit puberty, she ain't half bad.

Posted by brandon | February 12, 2008 2:49 PM
13

Did her wedding dress come with a saddle?


Now that's what I call a Bridle Party!

Posted by wisepunk | February 12, 2008 2:49 PM
14

I can see why Hilary Swank would want to keep this secret.

Posted by AMB | February 12, 2008 2:56 PM
15

The best part is that their wedding photo was taken at Sears in front of the "Desert Rose" backdrop.

Posted by Smile! Wait, no, don't. | February 12, 2008 3:09 PM
16

He's off the market. And I'm off to jump from the nearest bridge. I'm a wreck. *sigh*

Posted by A. Mess | February 12, 2008 3:20 PM
17

@12 - I agree. While she's not exactly a pin-up girl, this is Gary Coleman we're talking about here. He's a 4'8" former mall cop who assaults his fans (and apparently his spouse).

Who'd you expect to see on his arm, Beyonce?

Posted by Mahtli69 | February 12, 2008 3:30 PM
18

Congrats, Gary!

Seriously, what's with the harsh, guys?

Posted by Will in Seattle | February 12, 2008 4:22 PM
19

Whachootalkinabout, Willin?

Posted by NapoleonXIV | February 12, 2008 11:00 PM
20

fugly mcfucklestien

Posted by me | February 12, 2008 11:32 PM
21

Oh come on guys. She's not that fug--it's just a really awful angle for her. She's trying to hunch down and look shorter, so she's got her shoulders scrunched and her head ducked. That's all.

The photographer who allowed this picture to happen, however, should be taken out and shot.

Posted by Christin | February 13, 2008 7:40 AM
22

She doesn't like the violence OR the dentist.

Posted by monkey | February 13, 2008 10:14 AM

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