Which reminds me of my favorite gambling addict saying: It's not a problem if you're winning.

I heard the AVN hosts on the radio this week being asked how they'd get by without prescripted banter thanks to the WGA Strike -- so funny...

Mandalay Bay is a blast, too. Wheel of Fortune at the airport is the only slot machine that ever paid out for me in Vegas. The doodleoodling of the slots at 3AM in the casinos was such a surreal, soothing sound.

Then when i went back later in life, I knew how to milk all the money fountains there. Now I just kick back there, play $10 Pai Gow Poker for hours, usually break even, and get lots of free drinks. Good times.

Oh, and vegas is a great place to hook up with all the closeted married guys looking to safely (read - not get outed) explore their dark and sinister internal gayness.

I am sure that Dan has lots of stories about that.

Oh, and how did the kid like being pinned up in a shithole like the Luxor while you were off being your degenerate self? Is he proud that daddy makes his living exploring the subculture of cum guzzling twenty somethings who suck someone elses shit off a cock for a living?

Seriously, why don't you get a job that he can be proud of?

You know the drill: WorkSource, first thing Monday morning! Hopefully, you still have something left in that book of bus tokens I bought you for Christmas.

But the kid isn't at the Luxor. He's at home, with the boyfriend, because he needs to go to school and hang out with his friends and get to his after-school tumbling and snowboarding classes. I would never take my child to Vegas. But evidently you would, ecce? I mean, otherwise why would you assume that I did?

The idea of exposing your child to all sorts of disgusting behavior is not foreign or unacceptable to you anyway. Why is it such a stretch. After all, aren't you just giving him an "education"?

Well, kudos for not bringing him.

And BTW, if you are staying at Luxor, you got ripped off. The place is riddled with bedbugs, dirty sheets, and "inclinators" that shake, rattle and bounce around while displaying some truly juvenile "urban art".

Next time, get a room at Bellagio or The Wynn. Lots of non-gambling culture to enjoy...

And, seriously, you know nothing about my home life. Why don't you leave my kid out of it, ecce? That's what I do.

Yeah, heavens forfend our young 'uns should ever be exposed to the darkness of reality, 'cause the world is really so much better when seen through the black-and-white lenses of moral absolutism, isn't it?

And Jeebuz on a Ritz Cracker people, it's frakkin' EASY to make $$ in Vegas (wait for it, ecce!): just go to the smaller casinos (O'Shea's is one of my personal faves), find a table running two-deck blackjack with only one or two other players, and go to town!

Anyone with even the most basic skills can generally walk away with $50+ at the end of half an hour or so. But it's also important to keep in mind a few important caveats: for example, any time the table gets crowded (four or more) step out.

Because, that's the real SECRET - when you get up by a good margin, WALK AWAY. Even in a low-odds game like blackjack the house still has the edge, so the longer you play the more likely it is you'll come up short, especially if you've been taking advantage of the "free drinks". And NEVER spend more than your initial stake! And always tip the dealer - minimum 10%, 20% if you've hit some big hands.

I've generally taken home anywhere from $300 to $600 more than what I started with from using these few simple rules, and can usually beat the house 7 out of 10 times on individual playing rounds.

Oh M...wow...what a shockingly dumb comment. Really. I'm not just being mean.

You read Dan's posts and his sex advice column, I presume you know something about his books, and you can't figure out an answer to this? Seriously?

Because there's a reason why thousands of people are reading him, and not you. Maybe you should set that ego aside and think about it.

If you want to get Ecce, just watch "Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf?". Basically, he's Martha without a George.

Ecce Homo. Sad, sad, sad......

Because, well, that is kind of HOT.

Brrrrrrrrr!

(STOPTHINKINGSTOPTHINKINGSTOPTHINKINGSTOPTHINKING...)

But even that's a pretty generous description: Meth is horrible on your teeth. Thank God were were able to get him those dentures from the government. While they don't really fit him, it's still an improvement. And it's hillarious when he puts them in upside-down. He really has quite a sense of humor once you get to know him. Very
Nixonesque.

Oh great, now I'm imagining ecce as my grandfather.

Actually, that's a lot better than imagining him as Kathleen Turner.

Thanks, Catalina!