Almost as good as that Cap-hill lithuannian.

And he's gay, in the closet, and really upset about it.

AND he's also submitted some other colorful comments to Seattle Weekly...
http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/comments.aspx?q=9262

He knows WAAAAAAAAAY too much about something that allegedly disgusts him...

I just sent him an e-mail letting him know I am a proud (and talented) cock sucker. And a proud bottom guy in Seattle but he was not big enough for me to consider having sex with him.

"How many kids will die because you have to suck an asshole for “cumm”?"

Oh that was a good laugh... Hahaha

Or...maybe someone stole his e-mail address.

Well, by my calculations I will require at least 5 kids die so that I can suck an asshole for cumm. That's just the way I roll.

Monkey,
Is that five kids per asshole sucking or does five kids cover all of your future asshole sucking?

Sadly, it's 5 per. Sorry kids.

Eh - I smell a harmless - albeit unfunny - troll. His Yahoo profile page says it was updated two days ago - which tells me he sort of cooked this up, as opposed to it being some sort of spontaneous outrage.

WOW! Yikes! That was actually stronger than my morning cup of coffee.

@ 6, 10 - he's a.) like the Filipino Monkey of the internet, and b.) not actually him. I think it's like an ex-wife or something. I can't remember exactly, but something like that.

Monkey,
I really think you should clarify more. I mean, if you're really dedicated to making a difference here, it should be White Christian Children.

Oh- I also like the inherent assumption that heterosexual people don't ever engage in anal sex. Or that when THEY do it, it's all good Christian fun.

Easter basket of AIDS?

You know, Dave, I am sorry you get shit like this. Yeah, the guy is a d-bag and clearly an idiotic troll looking for attention. But, still.

Stuff like this is an unpleasant reminder of the stupidity, malice, and hatred that folks seem to so easily conjure, particulary when anonymous.

I know you've gotten more than a fair share of similar emails and that fact makes me queasy. No one deserves such bile; it is a shitty way to begin any day, even if it is from some jackass that can't even spell "cum" properly.

Which should, by the way, be "come." Hope your day goes better, Schmader.

Why thank you, Lady Kerri. For what it's worth, these things don't really "get" to me. More than anything, they're just bracing reminders of the deep reserves of insane hatred out there, but nothing I take particularly personally. Being able to share such emails with all of you almost makes me glad to get them.

Also, my day just got much much better, with the purchase of the new Magnetic Fields album, so hurrah.

Yeah, I wish us gays could be an epicenter of something NICE for a change, instead of horrible viruses and virulent drug-resistant bacteria. Who needs all this bad press and seething resentment?

And no, the theater and fashion industries don't count as 'nice'...just another two plagues upon the world....

what ever happened to that dude that continually sent letters like this? I can't remember his name, but it was about a year ago. I think someone made a t shirt with his best quote. "Go live in France you pussy you faggot"?

Ah, Daniel Freykis!

I was also wondering what had become of young Freykis (but then the original post disappeared and ate my comment.)

I'm going to laugh when he catches MRSA from a kindergartener.

Thanks, everyone, for the comments. I was about to go ballistic on this guy, but the humor here helped me calm down and gain some perspective. Once again, the commenters are one of the best parts of Slog.

is felching really an important part of gay sex?

i thought it was more like a dirty sanchez, i.e. IT DOESN'T EXIST EXCEPT IN PORN.

"How many kids will die because you have to suck an asshole for “cumm”? "

i too have often wondered...

I think it's rhetorical, like How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop?

I guess we'll never know.

Sorry! I intended to send this to Dan. My closeted boyfriend was sucking my asshole and I guess my finger slipped and I chose your name instead of Dan's. My boyfriend is such a fag! Well, sorry for the confusion. : ) Now, I have to return the favor.

@29:

Thhhrrreee. The answer to that question is always thhhrrreee.

And @21:

"And no, the theater and fashion industries don't count as 'nice'...just another two plagues upon the world...."

Can't speak for the fashion industry, but when you disparage the good name of the Theatre Industry - them's fightin' words!

What?!?

This confusing thing just got WAY more confusing.

Ah, yes, freaky Daniel Freykis. What ever happened to that dude? Did he ever come out of the closet?

what about us straight married glory hole-ing, coprophilic, felchers? why do we get to live and not kill babies??

Did anyone read any of the posts at the fundy [sic] site? They go from hysterical:
No, everyone is born Christian. Only later in life do people choose to stray from Jesus and worship satan instead. Atheists have the greatest "cover" of all, they insist they believe in no god yet most polls done and the latest research indicates that they are actually a different sect of Muslims.
to distasteful (re: newborn girl with birth defects):
This girl is like a leper so what she needs to do is try and find god
if she really believes she can be healed from this state, she will be healed from this state.
Most afflictions like this are caused by sins committed while still inside the womb. If she can repent for what she does god will embrace her and make her as human as you or me but if she chooses not to she'll always be like this
god tests every one of us
to fucking terrifying:
Seriously, does anybody ever cry at an Atheist's funeral?
I mean, since Atheists have no value whatsoever as human beings (they're not even human, but only inhuman animals), since Atheists are nothing but miserable Liars, Cowards and Murderers, after all, why would anybody in their right mind weep over the dead rotting corpse, or bone chips and ashes (that get mixed together with those of others from the crematory) of a worthless dead Atheist?
I hope to God (lol) some of those posts are trolls.

Atheists have the greatest "cover" of all, they insist they believe in no god yet most polls done and the latest research indicates that they are actually a different sect of Muslims.

Hahahahahahaha, that's hilarious.

MRSA is scary, scary shit. And bonus, if positive guys get it, they're pretty much fucking dead. Awesome.

Maybe some of you were fortunate enough to read his latest. I think we made his week...

"Dear Faggots and Faggot Lovers---

This is a form letter I am writiting to all of the scum-sucking AIDS infested loosers who wrote to me today, clogging my inbox with VD-laced emails. I didn't even bother to write you all, as you are a bunch of faggots and I lose interest. Whatever, what I will say is THIS: I have enacted a REVERSE EMAIL SEARCH so that all you joyboys and trucker dykes can be sure this agression will not stand! I am going to track all of you down and report you to the proper authorities for terroristic threats. Also to all of you who signed me up for things, you cumm-drenched dooooosh bag FAGGOTS, I will have the police ARREST you for credit card fraud and identity theft. Then in prison you can all go fuck each other in the ass and all get AIDS, ha ha ha!!!!!!!

This is not over! I am not going to be intimidated as I am a MAN from AMERICA and STRAIGHT!!!! Get it faggo's???? No one makes a pass at me and gets away with it. As for you dykes, all you need is a real man to rape you one good time and put you in your place ha ha ha!!!!!!!

You will all burn in Hell and die of AIDS with Satan and Muslims and other scum. Fuck you all in the eye and die you are FAGS!!!!!!! - "

I know it's pointless, but I just love making them mad.

Well I see the "cocksucker gang" is getting together to attack me in print and on the online and other places to. I just figured out how all this started and of course it's that FAGGOT Schmider who thinks he is so "butch". Schmider you know that incitement to riot is a CRIME???? YOu are organizing a gang of AIDS victims to terrorize me and come after me and use crdit fraud to fuck with me. Huffy here is just Savage's joyboy feces-eater. Fucking fago's.

You fuck with me at your own peril. I have traced all of your Email's and soon there will be visitors to see if you motherfucking FAGGOT cocksuckers are tough enough to back up your threats. Fuck you you pussy FAGGOT asshole looser pricks lefty commie cocksucker muslim loving ass munching dooooo-sh burgers!!!!!!!! - AMERICAN MAN STRAIGHT FAG HATER!!!!!!

Dooooooosh!

Awww. It's kinda sweet. It's like he just discovered the Interwebs! Adorable!

if 39 isn't a candidate for deletion by the stranger gestapo then i REALLY wish I knew what kinds of things they DO delete.

but then again, i'm of the opinion that a bulk of the REALLY inflamatory trolls are just stranger staffers looking to throw raw meat into the pits for the rest of us to gawk over. keep clicking those ads, kiddies!

Hey@39,
I got the "love note" from him. I wish the son of a bitch would try and come after me.......Please, take your best shot because if you show up on my door step, I'll be taking mine. Now to decide between the 12 guage or the 30/30....or maybe the 9mm.

jamesb @43,

Is this even a question?  Of course the 12-gage!

@44....Buck shot, bird shot or slugs?
I signed our friend up to receive info about scientology.

@45: Dragon's Breath ftw.