Just watch it.

No, you don't have to watch it as an example of scat porn, or gross-out porn, or both. You *do*, however, have to watch it as a widely experienced text in the sex-n-kink zeitgeist. The simple fact of the matter is that it's quite likely that more "normals" have watched this than any single piece of video pornography available, and that fact is going to color even the non-scat-related questions you answer every week in your column.

It sucks, but your job requires you to have an intelligent opinion about the thing, which you simply can't do without watching it.

Playing the innocent Midwestern boy with the easily offended sensibilities doesn't really work so well for you, Dan. And at any rate, the video is so ridiculously over the top — and played as such — that it comes across instantly as camp. If you've watched the edgier bits of work from John Waters, you'll have no problem at all with Two Girls One Cup.

Think about it— if the video were actually horrifying, actually outside of the broad moral boundaries of this particular moment in American society, then who in the world would admit to having seen it at all, let alone tell all their friends that they absolutely must watch it, too?

We remove comments that are off topic, threatening, or commercial in nature, and we do not allow sock-puppetry (impersonating someone else)—or any kind of puppetry, for that matter. We never censor comments based on ideology.

Not now.

I love watching childhood icons swear. I get some childish pleasure out of it.

Everything I say is right. Anything you say or claim is wrong. Hugz!

You sooooo know you're lying. There is no fucking way you didn't watch it. None. Nada. Nope.

I have a room. I sleep in it. Sometimes I'll do other stuff in it, like put on my socks or search for my keys. Every now and then I turn on the tube. See what's on. Usually nothing. Surf a bit. Maybe turn the volume off and look at Anderson Cooper. Maybe finish with some Golden Girls. (Rose is so lively!). I kinda think Betty White and that tunamelt-cuntfeed Blanche were fucking.

Do you have a room?

By Greg Mitchell

Published: January 31, 2008 8:20 AM ET

NEW YORK In a front page story today in The Washington Post today, Dana Priest explores what she calls an "alarming" surge in suicides among active-duty soldiers in the military.

It opens with an unsuccessful attempt just this past Monday by Lt. Elizabeth Whiteside, the subject of a major Post article in December. "In so doing," Priest writes, "the 25-year-old Army reservist joined a record number of soldiers who have committed or tried to commit suicide after serving in Iraq or Afghanistan."

Suicides among active-duty soldiers in 2007 reached their highest level since the Army began keeping such records in 1980, according to a draft internal study obtained by The Post. "Last year, 121 soldiers took their own lives, nearly 20 percent more than in 2006," Priest reveals.

"At the same time, the number of attempted suicides or self-inflicted injuries in the Army has jumped sixfold since the Iraq war began. Last year, about 2,100 soldiers injured themselves or attempted suicide, compared with about 350 in 2002, according to the U.S. Army Medical Command Suicide Prevention Action Plan."

This has been an issue E&P has covered for more than four years. Only recently has it gained widespread attention.
Here is an excerpt from the Priest story. The rest can be found at www.washingtonpost.com.
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The Army was unprepared for the high number of suicides and cases of post-traumatic stress disorder among its troops, as the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have continued far longer than anticipated. Many Army posts still do not offer enough individual counseling and some soldiers suffering psychological problems complain that they are stigmatized by commanders. Over the past year, four high-level commissions have recommended reforms and Congress has given the military hundreds of millions of dollars to improve its mental health care, but critics charge that significant progress has not been made.

The conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan have placed severe stress on the Army, caused in part by repeated and lengthened deployments. Historically, suicide rates tend to decrease when soldiers are in conflicts overseas, but that trend has reversed in recent years. From a suicide rate of 9.8 per 100,000 active-duty soldiers in 2001 -- the lowest rate on record -- the Army reached an all-time high of 17.5 suicides per 100,000 active-duty soldiers in 2006.

Last year, twice as many soldier suicides occurred in the United States than in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Col. Elspeth Cameron Ritchie, the Army's top psychiatrist and author of the study, said that suicides and attempted suicides "are continuing to rise despite a lot of things we're doing now and have been doing." Ritchie added: "We need to improve training and education. We need to improve our capacity to provide behavioral health care."

Ritchie's team conducted more than 200 interviews in the United States and overseas, and found that the common factors in suicides and attempted suicides include failed personal relationships; legal, financial or occupational problems; and the frequency and length of overseas deployments. She said the Army must do a better job of making sure that soldiers in distress receive mental health services. "We need to know what to do when we're concerned about one of our fellows."

The study, which the Army's top personnel chief ordered six months ago, acknowledges that the Army still does not know how to adequately assess, monitor and treat soldiers with psychological problems. In fact, it says that "the current Army Suicide Prevention Program was not originally designed for a combat/deployment environment."

Staff Sgt. Gladys Santos, an Army medic who attempted suicide after three tours in Iraq, said the Army urgently needs to hire more psychiatrists and psychologists who have an understanding of war. "They gave me an 800 number to call if I needed help," she said. "When I come to feeling overwhelmed, I don't care about the 800 number. I want a one-on-one talk with a trained psychiatrist who's either been to war or understands war."
*

The vomit part in the second half is worse than the first part though. I really can't stand to see vomiting, even if it's just a little forced vomit.

If you want to see it, I'll be at the Maharaja.

I am so traumatized that I am immediately going to go out right now and become a born again right-wing Christian sex-phobic nut-case. I am also sending Dan my bill for PTSD treatment, the cost of the lunch I lost, and the dry cleaning bill.

Thanks, Dan.

Those reactions are priceless.

Not only do I have insane therapy bills, I also have to buy a fucking seeing eye dog. Do you have any idea how much they fucking cost?

Needless to say the next time my friend will be seeing me is in the People's Court. That bitch is gonna pay!