Slog - Comments on The Battle of Portland! http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland This is a long sucker. There are no pictures. But it’s important. Hang in there. I’m counting on you. Portland. It is indeed many things, but what it is the very most is completely schizo. Double-personalitied, so to speak. One might even go so far as to really annoy David Schmader by calling it rather “Gemini”. It is its own evil twin. And it can turn on a dime. Really. It’s the most peculiar phenomenon. One moment you would swear before God in a court of law that Portland was just about the darlin’est little place you ever did see:... Copyright 2008 Mon, 07 Jan 2008 14:23:13 -0800 Tue, 08 Jan 2008 22:00:06 -0800 http://www.movabletype.org/?v=3.34 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Comment by Mr. Poe I love you so much it hurts.

]]> Mr. Poe http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c889877 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c889877 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 14:38:45 -0800 Comment by monster Adrian. This is not LiveJournal.

]]> monster http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c889892 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c889892 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 14:46:04 -0800 Comment by Ziggity Schizophrenia is characterized by a mental break, or schism, from reality, where an individual is beset upon by hallucinations, delusions, and other mental distress. Dissociative identity disorder, wherein a person exhibits two or more discrete personalities at varying times, is something completely different.

]]> Ziggity http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c889895 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c889895 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 14:48:17 -0800 Comment by Graham As a Portlander from Seattle.

Thanks. No one in this town will yell at anyone. They all give me the stink eye when I honk for flip the bird or kick at people.

Oh... and stay out of NW. Unless you're hanging out in Old Town. Fuck the Pearl.

]]> Graham http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c889903 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c889903 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 14:52:12 -0800 Comment by adrian! i was just waiting for someone to say all three of those things.

]]> adrian! http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c889904 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c889904 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 14:52:34 -0800 Comment by Erechtheides Dr. Jeckyll is the good one.

]]> Erechtheides http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c889954 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c889954 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 14:58:24 -0800 Comment by Miss Stereo Just came back from Portland. You are hilarious.

]]> Miss Stereo http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c889968 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c889968 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 14:59:35 -0800 Comment by infrequent bravo! good job. i'm glad they didn't try to beat you up, though. i think their silence indicated their shame -- they knew they were wrong.

]]> infrequent http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890099 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890099 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 15:10:23 -0800 Comment by als What Mr. Poe said.

]]> als http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890150 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890150 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 15:14:44 -0800 Comment by monkey Attaboy!

]]> monkey http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890298 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890298 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 15:29:27 -0800 Comment by Mahtli69 I like how you let them have it, not for being a clueless homophobe, but for being a telemarketer.

]]> Mahtli69 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890337 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890337 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 15:34:52 -0800 Comment by Beachhead I hear Portland is just a wack Seattle.

]]> Beachhead http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890447 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890447 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 15:48:52 -0800 Comment by Baxter Yay!!!

That is all.

]]> Baxter http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890464 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890464 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 15:50:37 -0800 Comment by longball @11 - Bingo! Ha ha, my thoughts exactly. Being a homophobe is unaccaptable, but nothng is as offensive as being a telemarketer. I applaud you, adrian.

]]> longball http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890466 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890466 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 15:50:41 -0800 Comment by Portland Sux I must agree, I lived in Portland for 2 1/2 years and I HATED it.

For a while I lived just east of Reed College and people blatantly flew the Confederate Flag and talked about finding the gays to beat up (this was kind of front yard beer drinking truck fixing talk). A block a way from my house someone created their own giant lawn sign with fun anti gay and anti choice messages.

People think Portland is all that and a bag of chips. I found it to be a depressing place to live. They have a great light rail system and an easy street grid but I could not stand to live there. And, it never felt like living in a City, more like a town.

It's the kind of a place where the hippies and the rednecks almost start to blend into each other. Eugene is worse but Portland has the same dynamic going on.

When my girlfriend and I were visiting there several years ago I took her to the lesbian bar I used to hang out at occasionally when I lived there. After hanging out for one drink she said she'd rather kill herself then stay for another.

Powell's Bookstore is great though.

]]> Portland Sux http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890468 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890468 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 15:51:20 -0800 Comment by Cascadian This is the best story ever.

]]> Cascadian http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890602 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890602 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 16:10:26 -0800 Comment by Gillian Anderson Adrian, you crack me up!

]]> Gillian Anderson http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890632 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890632 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 16:13:29 -0800 Comment by Judah Agent Scully reads the Slog?

]]> Judah http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890658 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890658 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 16:18:50 -0800 Comment by UNPAID BLOGGER @18: Read the Stranger Regrets.

They actually mentioned you!

]]> UNPAID BLOGGER http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890720 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890720 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 16:29:29 -0800 Comment by Mrs. Jarvie I love you Adrian. I miss Portland in that "it's beautiful, but overrun by commies" kind of way.

]]> Mrs. Jarvie http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890749 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890749 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 16:35:35 -0800 Comment by Judah @19

Yeah, I regret not knowing the name of the Stranger's fucking copy editor. Clearly she is so fucking important and well-known that only a complete tool would think her name was a stupid pseudonym.

]]> Judah http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890870 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890870 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 17:00:16 -0800 Comment by Super 10 # 15 -

"It's the kind of a place where the hippies and the rednecks almost start to blend into each other"

Great line because it's true....

]]> Super 10 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890995 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c890995 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 17:29:05 -0800 Comment by genevieve Confession: I often just skip over Adrian's posts and columns. They're just too precious for words. But this was great.

]]> genevieve http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c891026 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c891026 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 17:38:21 -0800 Comment by Jubilation T. Cornball Well at least that Portland asshole has a whole new gay voice to mimic.

]]> Jubilation T. Cornball http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c891176 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c891176 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 18:31:02 -0800 Comment by Take it back! This story makes me want to start or join a group of tuff gay guys patrolling the streets and bars of Capitol Hill looking and listening for hate-speech.

]]> Take it back! http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c891213 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c891213 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 18:38:59 -0800 Comment by adrian! "Well at least that Portland asshole has a whole new gay voice to mimic."

brilliant.

]]> adrian! http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c891303 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c891303 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 19:11:35 -0800 Comment by noel Thanks--Portland is TOTALLY skitzo. I lived there when Team Dresch got brutally queer bashed and the Oregon Citizen's Alliance were pushing the legalizing of discrimination based on homosexuality...

But take the homophobia there and double it and you might come close to the racism quotient. My then-boyfriend and I were considered a "mixed" couple and got threats secured to our front door with knives.

Pretty poisen city, though.

]]> noel http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c891309 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c891309 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 19:14:15 -0800 Comment by pretentious i am still laughing at the phrase "horny lorikeets."

]]> pretentious http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c891358 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c891358 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 19:35:26 -0800 Comment by elenchos Adrian! I love you.

]]> elenchos http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c891368 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c891368 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 19:40:13 -0800 Comment by yohnson ..also just returned from frozen hooker's ice cube tray. Did you know that there is a pizza place called (and I do not kid) "It's a Beautiful Pizza"..? That is all.

]]> yohnson http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c891431 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c891431 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 20:10:47 -0800 Comment by brandon Hahaha! Portland sucks too.....ahahaa!
eh, seattle- the millionaires playground or portland- the hillbilly heaven; take your pick kiddies

]]> brandon http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c891471 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c891471 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 20:25:15 -0800 Comment by M Adrian kickin up some shit in P Town. Watch out!

]]> M http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c891532 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c891532 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 20:57:21 -0800 Comment by Espozay Adrian interesting post. Your situation
was an amusing one in a unique human moment. I'm sure we all had those times there may be some freaks out there, and sometimes you feel the best way to deal with them is just get freakier.
You going through that night reminded me of this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbf4btZbTwk

He Said's 'Pump'

]]> Espozay http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c891686 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c891686 Homo Mon, 07 Jan 2008 22:22:14 -0800 Comment by Donna I really enjoyed reading that, Adrian, and agree that it's hilarious you called the guy out for his evil telemarketing job. Portland is exactly as you describe, yet even after not having lived there for 14 years, I still miss it terribly. No I'm not a Gemini.

]]> Donna http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c891966 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c891966 Homo Tue, 08 Jan 2008 06:24:36 -0800 Comment by Homo Will Adrian, awesome dude. Awesome. I have that problem in Seattle too, being a miami guy (east coast) out in the PNW... I am told that sometimes Im too blatently outright with my words... I don't do this passive agressive bullshit.

@ 25: I'll join your gaggle o' tough gays.... I get my point across, tattooed, rough 25 yr old. I'm ready to join... sign me up.

]]> Homo Will http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c892040 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c892040 Homo Tue, 08 Jan 2008 07:51:18 -0800 Comment by blackandblue please oh please get me out of portland.

]]> blackandblue http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c892820 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c892820 Homo Tue, 08 Jan 2008 11:52:18 -0800 Comment by Donolectic Adrian! I love you too.

]]> Donolectic http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c894087 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/the_battle_of_portland#c894087 Homo Tue, 08 Jan 2008 22:00:06 -0800