Comments on Shannon Harps, RIP

Memorials like these, which became oh-so-popular after Princess Di's death sparked the famous pile o' flowers in front of Kensington Palace, drive me nuts. There are two near my house - one for a bicyclist struck and killed by a truck, and another for a jogger struck and killed by a reckless driver. The latter one has been in place for nearly a year! It even disappeared for a while a few weeks ago, only to regenerate itself. Enough! Since when is the precise location of a person's death the appropriate locus for their remembrance?

Since people cared about each other and had no other way of expressing that care.

That's fine, Rhett, but it's not good enough to answer Dan's fundamental question - which is, when is it time to move on and remember in some other way? I can understand a week or two, but a full year? C'mon...

Lets dispose of them in a bonfire around which we can hold a giant drunken fuck-the-shit-out-of-each-other wake.

I'm not sure there is ever a good time. Memorials like these have been around for some time--ever see those white crosses with flowers/stuffed animals/signs marking accident sites along highways? Or are those mostly just in the midwest?

Not this isn't to say that the memorials SHOULDN'T disappear. It just seems that they aren't likely to.

One would think that a deceased persons friends and family would, after a few days, have some sort of memorial to visit and deposit flowers and the like at.

I can see immediately following a traumatic and sudden death that people want to set up such memorials, but yah, after a while they need to go.

Not=Now.

Check with the National Park Service who "clean up" every day after people leave virtually tons of heartfelt remembrances for the 59,000+ men and women inscribed on the Viet Nam War Memorial wall. Dead of night, I imagine.

Here, I'll be brave and call the shot. Two weeks of mourning.

Does she have a grave to visit?

The stuff goes in the trash. It's not disrespectful. The stuff isn't her, it's a memorial to her, and leaving it up too long is paying homage to the memorial, not to Shannon Harps. THAT is disrespectful.

The memorial will persist and be replenished by people who love her regardless of any arbitrary decision. There are still fresh flowers being placed on 24th in Montlake where a bad right turn killed a runner; and Bryce's memorial continues to be refreshed -- it's obviously still horribly painful for people -- in front of Romio's on the south end of the U Bridge.

You can't control memorials. You can help people integrate experiences, mourn, and move on, but that's their choice, and their ability to do so. The memorials persist for as long as anyone finds a point in creating them.

This is a good question. I don't think there's a good answer, though.

For what it's worth, the memorial for the biker killed by the truck on the corner of Eastlake and Fuhrman regenerated itself many times over since the incident.

Eventually, though, I think it's appropriate to move on and the memorials should probably stop.

Unless, perhaps the neighbors could come together and create/buy something small and permanent for the flower bed?

A sign should be put up at the memorial -- and word should go out via blogs like this -- that on a certain date and time, the memorial will be disassembled. People should be invited to take what they'd like of it before that time, and then afterward, a respectfully conducted dismantling should occur.

The condo being sold might be Shannon's -- if that's the case I doubt her parents are going nuts over wanting it gone.

All things considered, unless it's causing a threat to health (rats nesting in Diana's Kensington Palace flower piles) or rights of passage, I don't feel any overwhelming desire to have these sorts of sites pulled down. The people who add their bits and bobs to these informal memorials seems to do so with the best of intentions and seeing the candles on this one flickering on a recent rainy night made me feel less hopeless about what some people do to others.

It's a tough call -- but whatever is done to remove the memorial and others like it should be done with a sense of dignity and not somebody tossing those candles into a Hefty Bag with all the solemnity one might employ when throwing out last night's wine bottles.

Recycle it for the memorial for the person who trips over that memorial and breaks their neck on the sidewalk.

The emotions that the memorial are represents are important. The memorial itself is just a collection of stuff, and won't take the sentiments with it into the dumpster. Toss it.

"are represents" => represents

You can't legislate grief.

It seems to me it's OK to let people grieve a bit. It's more important right now than selling a piece of property.

Her funeral was on January 20. I think it's customary to allow 12 days after that, so that would be after February 1.

A small, permanent memorial plaque would be tasteful in that spot, too.

Let me ask this. What the fuck has it got to do with Dan Savage or any of you mindless idiots? How can I subscribe to slog RSS without intellectual midget Savage?

I agree with what S. M. and Glenn Fleishman said.

This all really stikes at the nerve of one's feeling of safety and independence. How much comfort is it anymore to know that you can scream out and have people help you out if you are ever attacked. This was of little help here since it all happened so quickly and ended her poor life before anyone could even react. No guns involved even. The world feels just a little more unsafe this new year.

I was hearing some guys on the radio yesterday talking about this same topic- they claimed that this tradition was an american tradition (with john lennon) and said that people only think it started with princess di.

Well, *I* think that its neither- latin culture has been doing this shit for way longer. Drive five minutes into mexico and you'll see 20 roadside memorials.

@22: Racist. You are stating that Mexicans are bad drivers. Or, worse, wander in great numbers into the road near border crossings.

Leave it be. Her closest friends will decide one day to clean it up. Let them do it at their own pace. Our streets can allow this type of expression.

Savage, haven't you seen any shitty cops and bad guys movies where the whacked out nutjob says he did it because he's a whacked out nutjob? See the mostly shitty Sean Penn/Nicholson mess The Pledge, for example. Prosecutor is making sounds that this case will be tried. So, stick with allegedly a little bit longer. You can do it.

As for the memorial, I've had similar thoughts but more just wondering than wanting to move it along. No rush. Might be good to have some kind of gathering for people to attend, light a candle, see a neighbor, say goodbye. Then I guess the stuff could go. But hopefully somebody leaves more stuff again from time to time.

@23 the only thing that's made me laugh out loud all day. thanks.

It's totally true though, maybe Eli can back me up?

Their memorials are way cooler though- dyed blue carnations, rad virgin mary seven day candles, photos, a bad ass decorated wooden cross, little wooden toys. I could go on, but then the wrath of Princess Di will heave over me...

@26 -- Thanks for taking it in the spirit it was intended :-) Sometimes it's just fun to thoughtlessly hurl withering epithets like so much grass seed. I learned how to do that here on SLOG, btw.

And yes, generally speaking, the Latinos do death so much more festively than us Anglos so I'm not surprised those memorials rock the house.

None of which explains why there are so many memorials right there in one place...???

I kind of like roadside memorials. they're a good reminder of how dangerous cars and driving recklessly really are. The number of deaths due to road accidents is something our society conveniently ignores most of the time.

That's not an issue in this case of course.

put the stuff on e-bay and donate the proceeds.

#1 - agreed.

My question is why the people that live near these memorials are forced to remember these sad events on a daily basis but often the people that create them only see them once or twice. We don't bury people in their front yard leaving a tombstone for the neighbors after the family moves away.

I live a half a block from Shannon's building and noticed a condo for sale before she was murdered. I wonder how many potential buyers have seen the memorial and just turned around.

I blame Bruce Wayne for this tradition.

@19

It's sorta like the 'delete' key for e-mail, Paul.

If you put your mind to it, I'm sure you'll figure out how to skip posts you don't want to read.

Senseless Shannon Harps: Yes. The latest one is: STUPIDITY. The man shot outside the Baltic was denied access; didn't even live remotely close to Capitol Hill. Someone hated him enough to track him there and kill him... and he has a record. Thank you promoters. Damn, I miss the PONY!

aw hell - i said i would do it. stop your bitching already.

I think it's a little soon to take down Shannon's memorial...give it a few months.

There's to be a pocket park across the street from the murder site...given Shannon's affliation with the Sierra Club, maybe they could name it after her?

If I was a close friend/family member of hers, I'd leave it up for a while then remove everything and put up a small sign thanking everyone and ask them to honor Shannon by making a donation to the Sierra Club or Nature Conservancy.

It says in perpetuity. Ha!