I'm confused. What was it that she liked about the guy, anyway? Is she just looking for permission to dump here?
I think the first guy should stay with the guy he hates. I love people when they are miserable!!!
Aargh- a self-identified techie. Her heartache has only just begun.
Don't dump him. Your dumbass deserves him.
Yeah, anybody this helpless must be spoiled, no matter how many part time jobs she has. She should marry this guy, just to save her the trouble of finding another one just like him.
I call troll.
As a young woman who was once a younger, more emotional, and less rational young woman, I relate to this girl's hilariously sad letter and the reason she wrote in.
At similar points of crisis in my life, however, temptations to write to the Inimitable Dan Savage were quelled by the knowledge that he would ignore my crazy, repetitious, and stupid-sounding email.
Younger self, I stand corrected. Mr. Savage replies to (young, and therefore perhaps only temporarily) idiots, too.
Tough love at its finest. Good Job, Mr. Savage.
Now be kind, at least as a techie she has some reasonable chance of securing gainful employment once she graduates.
And seriously, we're talking a 19 year-old kid here, how MUCH "more experienced" could a 20 year-old still living at home actually BE?
I say, dump the loser BF, hook up with the interested girl, and if that doesn't work out, well, there will be plenty of clingy, self-absorbed prima-donnas waiting in the wings - literally!
so he's overweight but makes Elle Woods (Legally Blonde Elle Woods?!?) look like a lumberjack? Just what does this guy look like?
I'm having a hard time imagining a real person here...
If they're not on slashdot, they're not techies.
But they might be trolls.
A theater techie is someone who does the lights and shit.
Not a computer programmer.
I assume she's talking about his prima donna behavior. He's so petty and self-absorbed he makes Elle's personality seem strong and independent.
Real techies stopped reading slashdot about eight years ago.
Some people, especially but not exclusively young people, need to be told the obvious. It's scary to jump into the unknown. But she needs to know that the worst day without this loser is going to be better than the best day WITH him. DUMP, NOW.
Has a full-time job AND goes to college full-time (AND has a part-time job)? How? Is her degree in TEMPORAL MECHANICS?
Her "poor me!" crying when her solution is so fucking glaringly obvious makes me lose any sympathy for her. A person with that much on her plate has to have some sense of practicality, and I get this overwhelming sense that she knows exactly what she needs to do but wrote in anyway so someone can tell her she's young and awesome and so hard-working.
Stay with the clingy douchebag, by all means.
And to think that this idiot has a vote in the presidential elections coming up.
I think this is a prime example of why you should be 21 or better yet 25 before you can vote in a national election.
Dan, you ignored the most important advice: get the fuck away from theater if you want to meet normal people. I've lived with theater folk and their friends, and, god love 'em, a more batshit, self-absorbed group is hard to find. Seriously, I only know of two functioning relationships that started in the theater, and the key to both is that they LEFT the theater.
So yes, DTMFA and then go find another job.
Disclaimer: I love local theater, I go when I can afford it, please don't pelt me with mic tape. But y'all can be crazy.
Well of course they're crazy ... they're theater people. Drama is their life.
He's 20 and she's 19. Gheezuz these whining heteros don't need help they just need some time. It's like these spoiled kids need an answer RIGHT NOW DAMMIT RIGHT NOW ME ME ME. Keerist Dan, tell them to have a drink and wait 48 hours.
@17 - Hey, I resemble that remark. Yes, I'm batshit and self-absorbed, but dammit, I'm amusing, too!
Like she needs your sympathy.
Boy, tough crowd!! She is young and insecure and just looking for someone to confirm what she already knows, but was unable to do without help. Here is hoping she dumbs the guy and does not fall into the needy trap again! but she will, don't they all!
I may be biased, being a hetro male, but the choice between clingy looser male and fun female seems pretty obvious.
BTW Dan, nice appearance on Fleshbot. :)
@15 "TEMPORAL MECHANICS" ^_^ tee hee - me likey
Yeah i'd say DTMFA too, but really the advice should be stop writing fake letters to Dan Savage so he has more time to answer the real ones. Dan, you say fake letters are always about fear? 10 bucks says the person who wrote this is a needy guy and one of his million insecurities is that a girl he likes or is dating is really a lesbian and is only pretending to be into him because he's soooo sensitive. You got it right the first time, he was kidding.
Not only is she young; but if she's going to school full-time and working full-time plus, then she's exhausted. I'm a non-functional robot when I'm tired like that, and any decision is about ten times more difficult than it would usually be. So, yes, she should date the girl; and people shouldn't be so snippy at her either.
I admit, I go to school full time and work full time, and have a girlfriend, but I don't have a second goddamn job, and I make everything work by living on cap hill.
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