Slog - Comments on Savage Love Letter of the Day http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16 My boyfriend of a year and I broke up a month ago. We had fun, had amazing sex, met each other's families, hung out all the time (maybe too much), moved to a new city (though did not move in together). Towards the end I realized what different ideas we had about our relationship. I was, and still am quite in love with him but he claims to have never said "I love you" to anyone and won't say it to me. It's almost nihilistic. He really doesn't communicate anything about how he feels about me. He rarely tells me... Copyright 2008 Tue, 08 Jan 2008 13:23:37 -0800 Tue, 08 Jan 2008 18:14:06 -0800 http://www.movabletype.org/?v=3.34 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Comment by Fifty-Two-Eighty Right on. Again. Guess that's why they pay you the big bucks.

]]> Fifty-Two-Eighty http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893109 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893109 Savage Love Tue, 08 Jan 2008 13:29:44 -0800 Comment by monkey But I completely understand wanting to have mind-blowingly great sex with an ex that otherwise you'd just as soon bash in the head with a baseball bat.

Why are assholes so good in bed?

]]> monkey http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893112 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893112 Savage Love Tue, 08 Jan 2008 13:30:26 -0800 Comment by Lake Reading these is such a delightful schadenfreude when you have a great relationship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, dude was really strong to break it off. DON'T GET SUCKED BACK IN!

]]> Lake http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893123 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893123 Savage Love Tue, 08 Jan 2008 13:32:10 -0800 Comment by Suz The best way to get over someone is to get under someone!

If she is still seeing the ex it will make it more difficult to meet someone new. DTMFA!

]]> Suz http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893129 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893129 Savage Love Tue, 08 Jan 2008 13:33:48 -0800 Comment by apres_moi Cut off all sexual ties to him, especially if you two have been fucking BB and he's having sex with other guys. Hell in fact cut off all ties to him for at least a couple of weeks to a month just to give yourself that distance you need to realize how much of an asshole he was to you.

If he really cared for you and was in love with you but couldn't say it, he would've tried to take you back by now.

]]> apres_moi http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893137 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893137 Savage Love Tue, 08 Jan 2008 13:36:44 -0800 Comment by Dan Savage CAB is a girl.

]]> Dan Savage http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893147 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893147 Savage Love Tue, 08 Jan 2008 13:40:02 -0800 Comment by Lake @6

Signing his name as a boyfriend reiterates how restarted this specimen is, then.

]]> Lake http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893177 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893177 Savage Love Tue, 08 Jan 2008 13:50:12 -0800 Comment by Mr. Poe Uh, how is the boyfriend the asshole?

]]> Mr. Poe http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893195 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893195 Savage Love Tue, 08 Jan 2008 13:54:49 -0800 Comment by No jokes about cab fare... Of course CAB is a girl.  It stands for Cute Asian Babe.  everyone knows that.

]]> No jokes about cab fare... http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893197 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893197 Savage Love Tue, 08 Jan 2008 13:55:10 -0800 Comment by Greg CAB is never, ever going to get what she wants from this guy. She needs to cut her losses and cut off all contact with him.

]]> Greg http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893202 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893202 Savage Love Tue, 08 Jan 2008 13:57:31 -0800 Comment by Will in Seattle Write him off.

]]> Will in Seattle http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893216 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893216 Savage Love Tue, 08 Jan 2008 14:01:50 -0800 Comment by Sargon Bighorn The book "The Velvet Rage" discusses this all too common Gay male need for constant validation from outside oneself. If one does not constantly hear "I love you" "you are the world to me" the offended partner assumes the worst. It is any wonder so many Gay LTRs last no more than 2 years?

]]> Sargon Bighorn http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893240 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893240 Savage Love Tue, 08 Jan 2008 14:06:16 -0800 Comment by Sargon Bighorn CAB IS A GIRL??? WTF! Okay never mind what I wrote.

]]> Sargon Bighorn http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893246 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893246 Savage Love Tue, 08 Jan 2008 14:07:11 -0800 Comment by Irena I don't think it matters if CAB is a girl. Interesting to see it from both sides.

But I assumed it was a girl because she wants to hear that she's beautiful. I don't need to hear "I love you" -- I know he loves me! But I could hear "You're beautiful" every day and never get tired of it... (vain, I know)

]]> Irena http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893463 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893463 Savage Love Tue, 08 Jan 2008 15:26:58 -0800 Comment by Big Sven If nice girls like CAB didn't stick around waiting for douchebags like her boyfriend to grow a brain, half the male species wouldn't ever get any action. It's natures way of compensating for the fact that so many of us guys are complete assholes.

That being said, biology is not destiny. You won't DTMFA until you stop being comfortable w/ the status quo, and you won't do that until you stop playing occasional hide-the-banana with him.

Stop it. Now.

]]> Big Sven http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893532 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893532 Savage Love Tue, 08 Jan 2008 16:03:43 -0800 Comment by Yeek I have a feeling there's another side to this story. "Tell me you love me! Boo hoo hoo hoo fuck me fuck fuck me fuuu...get out MY HOUSE you ASSHOLE let's hang out with Biff and Mary-Anne at the beerblast, ok?"

]]> Yeek http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893594 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893594 Savage Love Tue, 08 Jan 2008 16:30:03 -0800 Comment by Reverse Polarity (formerly SDA in SEA) I have no problem with continuing with the occasional mind-blowing sex if, and only if, CAB fully realizes that a serious loving relationship will never come of it, and is okay with that.

]]> Reverse Polarity (formerly SDA in SEA) http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893740 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/savage_love_letter_of_the_day_16#c893740 Savage Love Tue, 08 Jan 2008 18:14:06 -0800