Politics Iowa Gives a Shit!
posted by on January 3 at 11:53 AM
I’ve been trying extra hard not to follow any coverage of the presidential race, but even a dumb-ass like me knows that it’s caucus day in Iowa (that rhymes if you’re from there). Anyway, I was recently on tour in Ames, IA and I stopped at a convenience store (I wanna say Kum & Go, but I don’t remember; mainly I just like saying Kum & Go), to use the men’s room. I was sufficiently impressed by the discourse contained in the toilet stall graffiti sloganeering that I took a cell phone picture or two. The text is a little hard to make out, but I’ll transcribe:
A few highlights:
“Hillary in the White House: The War Moved to America”
“Hey Hillary has a former president as a husband THINK ABOUT IT”
“So, W has a former Prez as a dad”
“Bomb bomb bomb bomb Iran”
“Hilary likes it dogstyle when she’s in back”
“Go Mit Romney, Save America From itself”
“Balls”
It’s hard to argue.
The last comment in particular evidences keen political insight.
Ah, haha, the most unfortunately named gas station chain in this nation's history. I miss thee, and all of the jokes made during my adolescence. It's even better than Seattle's "Dick's", in my opinion. I tried to get a shirt when I was there last. They make them.
Jesus fucking fuck.
apropos of nothing...My all time favorite bathroom stall is as follows:
Here I sit, all broken hearted,
I came to shit, and only farted.
I think #4 is missing a "bomb"
Unless they weren't going for Beach Boys.
I like the Helter Skelter door better, pigs.
'cause being first lady is just about the same as being President? huh???
Interesting story, but for the love of god, please stop assuming that all people from a given Midwestern state mispronounce their state's name. I grew up along the Iowa line in Missouri, and using a long "a" in Iowa is no more commonplace than failing to end "Missouri" with a long "e". Which, by the way, is used far more by politicians trying to sound folksy (and uppity coast-ers when trying to figure us out) than by the average Missourian.
This reminds me: when I was in Turkey I saw a gas station named "NigGaz". No joke.
@6
You're not allowed to say that, regardless of your intentions.
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