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Wednesday, January 2, 2008

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Obesity Epidemic

posted by on January 2 at 11:42 AM

A family home was saved from burning down when a pair of giant knickers were used to put out a fire. Jenny Marsey’s size 18-20 cotton pants were a lifesaver when they were grabbed to cover a frying pan fire at her home in Meryl Gardens, Hartlepool, Teesside.

Her son and nephew were trying to fry some bread when the blaze broke out.

But the quick-thinking pair used the Marks & Spencer underwear from a pile of washing, doused them in water, and threw them over the fire. Mrs Marsey, 53, said: “My £4.99 parachute knickers have come in handy for something. We’ve had a good laugh that they were a bit like a fire blanket.”

Thanks to Slog tipper Reggie.

RSS icon Comments

1

Mmm...fried bread.

Posted by Ziggity | January 2, 2008 11:46 AM
2

My thoughts exactly, Ziggity. I just enjoyed some fried bread the other day. . .

Posted by Michigan Matt | January 2, 2008 11:50 AM
3

An 18-20 and Marks & Sparks is British sized, meaning she is a 14-16 American....not that she be allowing herself a bacon buttie at that size either.

Posted by INORIGHT | January 2, 2008 11:57 AM
4

how much toilet paper does she need to wipe her butt everyday? lol

Posted by apres_moi | January 2, 2008 12:05 PM
5

The twinks would be DOOMED- Good luck doing that with a skimpy pair of Ginch Gonch.

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | January 2, 2008 12:07 PM
6

Being fat has scores of unexpected positive upsides. Here's another example. A fatty former teacher of mine once got into a scuffle at a bar. His opponent drew a knife and stabbed him in the stomach! But because he was fat, and because the blade was rather modest in length, he avoided major injury.

A thinner man would have been eviscerated.

Posted by doctiloquus | January 2, 2008 12:15 PM
7

Hey Dan, love the shit out of you, but I get so tired of the constant fat bashing. How about instead of bashing, you post innovative solutions to the problem. Obviously since this is an EPIDEMIC the simple answer of "eat less, exercise more" ain't cutting it. Perhaps being more positive about what people can do to be heathier rather than fucking with them like this might be more useful.

Posted by Suz | January 2, 2008 12:22 PM
8

Aw, those fatties : )

Posted by jhfgkja | January 2, 2008 12:29 PM
9

So I'll take up Suz's challenge, and mention something positive.

I'm in the process of reading "Good Calories, Bad Calories" by Gary Taubes. It just came out in 2007, and is a review of the state of nutrition science.

It turns out that what scientific research says about fat, carbohydrates, fiber, heart disease, and obesity are totally at odds with the government sponsored "food pyramid".

For example: fiber has been proven to do *nothing* for you except cure constipation- no effects on cancer, heart disease, obesity, etc, etc. It looks like those Atkins/Paleolithic/South Beach diets actually do work by keeping blood sugar levels stable so that carbs aren't immediately turned into fatty tissue. But do we ever hear this? Nope. Because physicians look to the AMA and the ACS, and those groups still stick with the low-fat/low-cholesterol/high-fiber advice that was developed in the 60s (before that, starches and sugars were considered the road to obesity) and blindly deny all the clear results from the Framingham and nurses' studies that have disproved the earlier models.

But enough speachifying. I switched to a low (but not crazy low) carb diet before the holidays, and lost five pounds in two weeks without lowering my overall caloric intake (since I was being wined and dined by family and friends) after being stuck for the last two months.

Good luck in 2008!

Posted by Big Sven | January 2, 2008 12:40 PM
10

Love this post!

I go to London a couple times a year, and if there's ONE THING I bring back every time, it's several packs of M&S underwear. They are indestructible and super soft.

Your publisher may like to know -- if he did not already -- that in the UK, the slang for underwear is "kecks." :-)

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | January 2, 2008 12:45 PM
11

As I've stated in the past, why is it I never see "fat" people on the streets of Bombay, Calcutta, or other cities in India? I think they are humans too with the same genetic code. But they sure do EAT differently from most Americans. Urban South African Black women are now dealing with weight issues due to EATING crap, not the good veggies they used to eat down on the farm, where they were slim from working their bodies hard as well. My point? I don't want to hear your whining about your weight when you know dam well you're shoving crap into your mouth every day. Eat like an Indian for 12 months and I guaran-dam-tee you those pounds will drop away.

Posted by Sargon Bighorn | January 2, 2008 1:02 PM
12

@11,

Because they're near starvation most of the time. It's basic human instinct to eat when food is available and to eat food that's high in fat and sugar.

What is it about the existence of fat people that angers you so? Worried that there won't be enough skinny people around for you to fuck?

Posted by keshmeshi | January 2, 2008 1:04 PM
13

Aaah... Addictions. Just read an article where binging is akin to drug addiction when viewing the brain response/drive.
Tell those fat/crack addicts to put the fork/spoon down and walk away. Respectively.
http://www.bio-medicine.org/medicine-news/Is-Binge-Eating-Addictive-3F-14692-1/
Facetiously yours...

Posted by subwlf | January 2, 2008 1:11 PM
14

The kinkier story is darling and it sounds like she is having a good laugh about it too.

I love it when people can laugh at themselves and have fun. It's kind of like giving all those people who would DARE complain about how you look the finger.

Posted by mj | January 2, 2008 1:15 PM
15

@11: "Eat like an Indian for 12 months and I guaran-dam-tee you those pounds will drop away."

Damn, that was a great line...

Posted by J.R. | January 2, 2008 1:44 PM
16

I meant to say the knicker story!!!
I have no idea what the kinkier story is... That cracks me up!

Posted by mj | January 2, 2008 1:59 PM
17

Obese people are "famine resistant." They will survive when the nukes rain down upon us.

Posted by isabelita | January 2, 2008 5:34 PM
18

Interesting point - size 18-20 in the UK is like a size 14-16 (not to be confused with size 12-14, which is the American plus size equivalent and too small to be found in most plus sized stores) in the US -- that is to say, Large in Victoria's Secret sizes. Many people fitting this size, depending on height, may just be "overweight" and not clinically obese, and not morbidly obese unless they were really, really short.

Posted by Knickers? I hardly knew her! | January 2, 2008 9:56 PM
19

I just heard a story on NPR, about how the obesity epidemic is spreading throughout the African continent.

Can it only be a matter of time for India?

Posted by Hal | January 2, 2008 10:19 PM
20

Apparently Dan has an obsession with fat people. Maybe he's super afraid he'll magically turn into one one day or something. He obviously can't just accept fat people for who they/we are. Says more about him and others like him than it does about fat people.

Posted by Kristin Bell | January 2, 2008 11:49 PM
21

Can I haz 2many cheezburglerz?!

Posted by Mr. Poe | January 2, 2008 11:50 PM
22

Oh my god, who the fuck FRIES bread? Way to go Fatty McFatface, you deserved to burn your house down. Thats just fucking gross.

Posted by Queen of Sleaze | January 4, 2008 2:43 PM

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