News Don’t Worry! It’s Only a Terrible Nightmare!
posted by January 21 at 10:24 AMon
Are you looking for a little something snazzy to accessorize those nifty new microchips in your passport and driver’s license? Something clever and colorful to dress up that lovely wall down south? Everyone’s concerned friend Microsoft has just the perfect thing!
Microsoft is developing Big Brother-style software capable of remotely monitoring a worker’s productivity, physical wellbeing and competence…a computer system that links workers to their computers via wireless sensors that measure their metabolism. The system would allow managers to monitor employees’ performance by measuring their heart rate, body temperature, movement, facial expression and blood pressure. Wireless sensors could read “heart rate, galvanic skin response, EMG, brain signals, respiration rate, body temperature, movement facial movements, facial expressions and blood pressure”. The system could “automatically detect frustration or stress in the user” and “offer and provide assistance accordingly”. Physical changes to an employee would be matched to an individual psychological profile based on a worker’s weight, age and health. If the system picked up an increase in heart rate or facial expressions suggestive of stress or frustration, it would tell management that he needed help.
Wow! That actually sounds like fun!
Um…it’s okay…it’s all gonna be okay…this is a dream…it’s isn’t happening…Disneyland…I’m in Dis-ney-laaaaaaand….”