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Monday, January 21, 2008

Color Me Republican!

posted by on January 21 at 12:10 PM

Dan made some comments below that forced me to realize something awful: I have two things in common with Mike Huckabee. (Besides our sexual attraction to little girl’s soiled clothing and a love of human-meat pie). The first? I hate Mitt Romney “soooooo much.” The second? I never emotionally outgrew high school all that much either. (Who does? I ask you.) In light of this, I demand that everyone, everywhere refer to Mitt Romney only by his mean new nickname, which I have just made up like a snotty 16 year-old girl, and which is this:

Magic Underpants.”

Magic Underpants! I know!

Acceptable usage includes: “Heeeeey, Magic Underpants! Why don’t you go have your twenty niece/wives wash your magic underpants, Magic Underpants!”, or, “Ohhh…are your magic underpants gonna protect you from John McCain, Magic Underpants?” or, “Would you like a cup of coffee…whoops! I spilt it all over your magic underpants, Magic Underpants!”, or, “Why, that’s a fascinating take on national security—-can we see your magic underpants?” and so forth.

Begin!

mormon-temple-garments.jpg

RSS icon Comments

1

Which candidate should we be more scared of? The one who you KNOW is a crazy ass Christian, or the ones you suspect to be?

Posted by Me | January 21, 2008 12:30 PM
2

the first time i saw this underwear i was disappointed. i had expected something freakier, i guess. this looks so simple and comfy, and a wee bit edwardian. i would have preferred something more along the lines of say, a hair shirt or chastity belt or ball clamp. too bad.

Posted by ellarosa | January 21, 2008 12:47 PM
3

I've worn this underwear! Twenty years of being Mormon... thankfully I'm in recovery now!

Seriously though, of two evils, isn't Mitt the lesser? I despise both of these idiots but Huckabee has got to be the worst!

Posted by Suz | January 21, 2008 12:56 PM
4

Okay, but you have to refer to McCain as Walnuts.

Posted by kid icarus | January 21, 2008 1:05 PM
5

Watch this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yj3QAzSWVA4

You really think Huckabee is any less crazy than Romney? They're the same person, and we are all lucky that they'll never figure it out.

Posted by It Thinks Its People | January 21, 2008 1:05 PM
6

Awesome, make fun of an entire religion. Just because they haven't had the benefit of 2,000 years of editing doesn't make them any freakier than the Christians.

Frankly, the LDS take better care of their cities and poor than the Christians do anyway. I am not going to vote for a Republican, but if I get stuck with one, I would prefer one whose culture dictates some level of basic civic responsibility.

Posted by Chukie | January 21, 2008 1:10 PM
7

Awesome, make fun of an entire religion. Just because they haven't had the benefit of 2,000 years of editing doesn't make them any freakier than the Christians.

Frankly, the LDS take better care of their cities and poor than the Christians do anyway. I am not going to vote for a Republican, but if I get stuck with one, I would prefer one whose culture dictates some level of basic civic responsibility.

Posted by Chukie | January 21, 2008 1:11 PM
8

I guess the Mormon I used to date really was an ex-Mormon.

Cuz' I never had to peel that crap off of him...

Posted by NapoleonXIV | January 21, 2008 1:17 PM
9

The most insidious part of Mormonism isn't the magic underwear (hot!), it's the fact that like 99.99% of all Mormon girls are really, really cute. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN? So you're drooling and blue-balling, and then one of them says to you, "Hey, I like you. You want to go to temple with me sometime?" And you can't refuse those brown puppy-dog eyes. And then they've GOT you.

Posted by High school | January 21, 2008 1:19 PM
10

"When sperm and egg unite, something goes from inanimate to animate. It is life." -Mitt Romney

Oh yeah, Magic Underpants? So sperm are inanimate? I guess flagella are just decorative... haha, your magic underpants must be cutting off the circulation to your testicles, inanimate-sperm-magic-underpants man!

Maybe that was more middle school. Hmm...

Posted by Lauren | January 21, 2008 1:46 PM
11

@9: And then she gives birth to the next Osmond family.

Posted by J.R. | January 21, 2008 2:17 PM
12

#9, mormon girls are easy.

Posted by w7ngman | January 21, 2008 2:40 PM
13

Stop trying to make magic underpants happen! It's not going to happen!

Posted by non | January 21, 2008 2:56 PM
14

Of course magic underpants won't happen... there is no magic in those underpants! Craziness perhaps but no magic!

Posted by clarity | January 21, 2008 3:55 PM
15

Patrick Wilson wearing this underwear in Angels in America was HOT!!

Posted by michael strangeways | January 21, 2008 4:35 PM
16

@14

It was just a play on a Mean Girls (movie) quite

Posted by non | January 21, 2008 5:25 PM
17

@14

Twas a play on a quote from the movie Mean Girls ;)

Posted by non | January 21, 2008 5:26 PM

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