they should come with dildo attachments

People in coffee shops are lame. What advantage are you getting over being at home? Or in a bar.

Have fun at home, paul. I used to think the world was scary. Then I turned 12.

paul, you don't need to leave your house. the internet works for all your needs. why leave at all? why leave the bed? what's the advantage?

and bj c., i'll never forget what you did to me.

Maybe she has some sort of medical condition or neuropathy?

Heating pads are teh awesome, and lightweight. Why not bring one along if you have access to power? It's another sign of how Seattle is better than a real city, when folks are comfortable being comfortable in public.

is it okay for me to wear pajamas and slippers to the local coffee shop?

plus my electric blanket?

some of us get cold....

Is this a paid position you occupy at the Stranger?

Just curious.. even I can come up with observations like this. If this is all the effort it takes to come up with stories, I'd like to apply for a job, because I could then do 2 jobs at once and get paid for being snarky while sitting in my office musing.

Please let me know where to send my resume.

Reality Check

@5 This was my gut reaction. Medical.

My girlfriend uses a heating pad to ease the pain caused by cramps, so perhaps this lady is doing the same? Although, my girlfriend uses it on her abdomen, not her bum...

Really, RC. I could live blog the car crashes in front of my house because nobody plows the streets in this fucking city when it snows...and it would still be more interesting than the last 3 or 4 posts have been.

Whine, whine, whine.

Although it would be cool if you just kept reposting Adrian's story about screaming at that telemarketer in Portland. Like, every day.

@8: They are not paid for Slogging; they post on top of their normal job duties.

@3 Your obnoxious sarcasm made me laugh.

When my boy Nolte goes to the Denny's on PCH in his robe and slippers to enjoy a morning drip and the Sunday edition of The Times nobody says shit. You know why?

1 - His son Brolly's been in a K-hole for his entire adult life and will striaght up merk you.

2 - Nolte mostly subsists on a loose regimen of vitamins, supplements and wheat grass shoooters so he will seriously straight up merk you.

3 - No one is allowed to look at Nick. Especially the press. If you address him directly he'll tell you to quit spying on him and then he will straight up merk you. For real.

4 - He's been going to that Dennys since the Earth's crust hardened. He's been going there since before Busey started trying to pinch his swagger, showing up in a robe with his own copy of The Times in hand. Anyone trying to encroach on Nolte real estate will get straight up merked. Ask Busey. Fuck it, Jake can get it too.

All I'm saying is, you better thank the fucking Gods that your lady with the heating pad ain't Nolte or you'd already be straight up merked. Fuckin' Why Do You Care Bear.

Maybe she just prefers a warm pad to a cold seat?

Laptop users (myself included) plug in to available power all the time.  This seems like just (understandable) warm-bottom-envy.

Mr. Poe @3, most excellent snark.

I nominate Why Do You Care Bear @15 for some unspecified comment award.

It's embarassing to have a medical condition that requires you do things out of the ordinary -- carry a cane or walker, an oxygen tank, a Hover-round, use a heating pad, deal with a colostomy bag, etc.

In the beginning, you feel every eye is on you -- and many are. But soon you get over it and figure you are still alive, enjoying life, and those prying eyes are no big deal.

Chances are the lady probably feels the same way about stupid blog posts and your frankly random snark, Bethany, will be meaningless to her.

Arthritic hips or sciatica is my guess.

bethany and lindy need to post more. slog is fun this afternoon. a refreshing break from all the politics.

Note to self: Something's ever-so-slightly different in my world! I must a) have a feeling about it, b) give unsolicited advice about it, and c) write a blog post about it.

Note to self 2: Don't ever go to Somalia or a Mexican jail, or any other place where things are genuinely unpredictable and out of my control. There's not enough space on teh internets for all my postings.

i dunno...i see Bethany's point. People in coffeeshops ARE annoying and a lot of them seem to forget they're in PUBLIC and not at home.

But, i too have suffered from Cold Ass Syndrome, and it's NOT a laughing matter.

@15: Are you sure you aren't Trent Moorman?

@18
Great Post.
I think our attitude changes about these things as we get older. When I read this I thought she probably has a back problem or many other little aches that a heating pad could help.
It is embarrassing to have to do things like that. My husband had two surgeries this last year and he was just mortified to walk with a cane at first or use an electric cart at the store and those things were just temporary.

it seems like something my mom would do, bringing a heating pad to a coffee shop. and well, i love my mom. she has taught me a lot of things. one thing she has taught me is that otherwise normal people do things that might be out of the ordinary. and while it might seem strange at first, when you really think about it, when you take a look at whats really going on, when you grow up just a tiny bit and begin to accept that there are people other than you out there, who do or say things for motivations completely separate from your own, you realize something:

who fucking cares what that person is doing?

maybe if the heating pad lady was doing something really strange, or even better, doing something that disrupted you in an actual way, maybe this post would be interesting.

why would this annoy you? why would you care? why does a blog exist where you say this annoys you? and then to immediately say your envious? and how does one leap from a simple heating pad, something which the coffee shop doesn't provide, to an espresso machine, which is why the lady is coming to coffee shop in the first place? that doesn't make any sense at all.

you're not making any sense at all.

Bethany, please post more on the Slog. I don't know why these people don't read carefully enough to understand what you said.

How does Caffe Vita feel about someone sucking 1000 watts out of their electrical socket? The laptops are one thing, but this is ridiculous. And what if the thing shorts and she starts a fire? Someone who brings a heating pad to a cafe is obviously not all there to begin with....

All you people are ridiculous ... except @27. Heating elements do suck a lot of heat. The cafe would most certainly care is EVERYONE started showing up with their bum warmers.

@ 23, I take that as quite a ompliment but I am not Trent Moorman.

Wait a second...are you Trent Moorman?

Sneaky.

Yo Bethany Jean Clement!

I was sitting on that heating pad because I can do that! Damn. Can I just live? I was sitting on a heating pad in a Coffee Shop working on my laptop, not wiping my ass on the 48 with a fucking tortilla.

It's freaking cold and my booty ain't OK with that. Yup, I'm just sitting on a heating pad in a coffee shop minding my own business. You caught me. Does that mean you gotta jump on the intertron and start goin at me? Damn. Does Keck pay you by the complaint?

Is Heating Pad Ettiquette something maybe Miss Manners can clear up for us or do we have to take this shit to the sidewalk next time I see you?

@13 "They are not paid for Slogging; they post on top of their normal job duties"

No, they are paid.

A few salaried people are not, but most of them are paid by the Slog

Small heating pads pull like 35 watts. An Apple MagSafe adapter pulls 85 watts. Gets hot too. Maybe just sit on your power adapter?

Seattle has lots of crazy middle-aged ladies. I think it's the menopause.

This belongs on Craigslist.

@30 -- "jump on the intertron."

Thank you. Just...thank you.

@26

I read what Bethany said, and honestly, she's a shitty person. It doesn't matter if that woman has a debilitating disease or if she's just cold. It doesn't affect Bethany's life one bit and she's just being a crabby bitch for posting about it.

LESSON: To avoid ridicule, avoid top pot.

Overheard
Posted by BETHANY JEAN CLEMENT on September 20 at 17:05 PM

At Top Pot, to the counterperson: “This is my first time at Top Pot. What kind of doughnut would you recommend to go with a cup of coffee?”

you must have a pretty boring life to ponder such things.

I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to sit on a heating pad - mine, at least, comes with a BIG FAT warning saying not to sit or lie on it and not to have it pressed too tightly between your body and something else, for fear of burns/fire.

I know people disregard the warning label. I'm just saying, be careful Heating Pad Lady! Be careful and Godspeed.