Slog - Comments on A Wife for Life http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life No analysis from me. If it is true, it is what it is. The Conjugal Harmony Difference Imagine having a wife who is always glad to see you, never cheats or stays out all night, and who rocks your ever-loving world twice a month with a pent-up vengeance you haven't felt since college. Now imagine she never takes your credit cards, doesn't spend all day talking to her mother, and never knows if you're out with friends or sleeping around. Now stop imagining and open your eyes to the world of Conjugal Harmony. For almost a decade we've connected honest,... Copyright 2008 Thu, 24 Jan 2008 10:39:44 -0800 Thu, 24 Jan 2008 15:29:58 -0800 http://www.movabletype.org/?v=3.34 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Comment by Greg Wow. Just... yeah. You're right. There is nothing that can be said about this.

]]> Greg http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907847 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907847 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 10:47:05 -0800 Comment by Will in Seattle Um, I had that when I was in my 20s, but it was twice a day not twice a month.

For five years. But she wasn't 19, she was my age now.

]]> Will in Seattle http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907849 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907849 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 10:48:48 -0800 Comment by Jessica Will love you "for life"? That's not terribly comforting coming from someone whose lovers turn up dead.

]]> Jessica http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907850 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907850 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 10:48:59 -0800 Comment by David Schmader Website tagline: "The nagging stops when the bars slam shut!"

Wow.

]]> David Schmader http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907855 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907855 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 10:50:55 -0800 Comment by Big Sven Best. Mudede. Post. Ever.

Possibly the best SLOG post ever.

"...then a guy I dated turned up dead plus his wife."

Wow.

]]> Big Sven http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907859 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907859 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 10:53:50 -0800 Comment by NaFun HAWT

]]> NaFun http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907860 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907860 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 10:54:04 -0800 Comment by Hernandez It feels kind of wrong, but I got a little horny while I was reading this. Is there such a thing as a convict fetish?

]]> Hernandez http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907865 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907865 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 10:55:48 -0800 Comment by Bellevue Ave when offered without comment chaz makes good posts. keep it up chaz.

]]> Bellevue Ave http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907869 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907869 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 10:59:00 -0800 Comment by Fnarf DAMN. Mrs. Fnarf, watch out. I'm goin' ta MISSISSIPPI! I will! I WILL take a walk on the pink side! With a lovely lass who tears up flowers.

]]> Fnarf http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907871 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907871 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:02:53 -0800 Comment by Greg @9: I saw her first.

]]> Greg http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907881 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907881 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:07:24 -0800 Comment by Mr. Poe This is - SOOOO AWESOME!

]]> Mr. Poe http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907882 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907882 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:07:26 -0800 Comment by OR Matt Remember the Seinfeld where George does the congugal visit thing with this one woman ... the sex is incredible ... and she ends up escaping and hiding out at George's where the sex is still incredible. However Elaine's balding boyfriend ends up with the charge for aiding and abetting a wanted criminal.

]]> OR Matt http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907885 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907885 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:07:59 -0800 Comment by Rotten666 Funny...especially when you click to register!

]]> Rotten666 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907886 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907886 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:08:26 -0800 Comment by ahava I like the one who's in for "premedicated murder." I think this might be among the sleaziest operations I've ever seen.

]]> ahava http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907891 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907891 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:09:53 -0800 Comment by RT this has to be a joke:

Convictions: two counts premedicated murder on my sister kids I used to wash.


Favorite hobbies in prison: I'm active in the "political system" in here and tho I'm young I'm moving up the ranks of the strongest gang in here.


Why I deserve another chance: I deserve a husband because I deserve kids and we're allowed to have them if it's with a husband. I'm good with kids usually except that one time and I could be the best locked up mommy in the world.


]]> RT http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907894 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907894 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:10:23 -0800 Comment by Andrew Taylor

" rel="nofollow">
PREMEDICATED murder?

]]> Andrew Taylor http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907896 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907896 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:11:24 -0800 Comment by umvue I thought it was a humor piece until I followed the links to their sponsors.

]]> umvue http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907898 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907898 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:11:27 -0800 Comment by Andrew Taylor

" rel="nofollow">
PREMEDICATED murder?

]]> Andrew Taylor http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907899 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907899 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:11:36 -0800 Comment by Andrew Taylor
PREMEDICATED Murder?

]]> Andrew Taylor http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907902 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907902 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:14:06 -0800 Comment by NaFun "Murder but it wasn't like that I got setup by my pimp and his frienz."

]]> NaFun http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907905 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907905 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:16:51 -0800 Comment by Irena "no-holes barred". Jesus.

]]> Irena http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907907 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907907 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:18:18 -0800 Comment by Boomer in NYC I live for your commentary and analysis, Charles--but you're right in this case. What more could you say?

Fucking brilliant.

]]> Boomer in NYC http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907909 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907909 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:19:29 -0800 Comment by Big Sven From their FAQ:

Due to problems we have had with various government organizations, we have shredder trucks come around about once every two weeks to take care of out-dated, unnecessary paperwork. The details of your transaction, from the price you paid, to our internal accounting, to the woman you married, will not just be kept confidential, they'll be outright destroyed.

...So now I'm thinking this is either a joke site or a very straightforward scam.

]]> Big Sven http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907920 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907920 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:23:48 -0800 Comment by Matt Fuckin' Hickey I'm so going to try to date one of these girls. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

]]> Matt Fuckin' Hickey http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907926 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907926 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:30:00 -0800 Comment by Ivan Cockrum This is your downfall for not having a sense of humor, Charles. You don't recognize a joke when you see one. This is a pretty excellent one.

]]> Ivan Cockrum http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907928 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907928 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:32:16 -0800 Comment by Fnarf I think I'm going to stay away from "Chopper".

]]> Fnarf http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907932 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907932 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:35:55 -0800 Comment by Erin Is anyone else thinking about how conjugal visits are just another thing that gay folks are denied because they can't marry.

If I did something stupid and got tossed in jail, I'd want the opportunity for consensual sex.

just saying.

]]> Erin http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907934 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907934 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:38:06 -0800 Comment by Aislinn I really wanted this to be real. Unfortunately, it isn't.

]]> Aislinn http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907940 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907940 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:41:18 -0800 Comment by Matthew I like the first one's convictions list:

Contributing to the deliquency of a minor, kidnapping, taking a minor across state lines for the purpose of prostitution, and murder 1.

Talk about burying the lead.

]]> Matthew http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907944 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907944 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:44:51 -0800 Comment by six shooter @27 - Conjugal visits, in most cases, are only allowed for makin' babies.

Unmarried men and men who marry after getting locked up aren't allowed them, either.

]]> six shooter http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907952 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907952 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:49:07 -0800 Comment by charles 28,i hear you. i wanted it to be real and beyond the reach of theory.

]]> charles http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907956 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907956 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:50:46 -0800 Comment by unPC Pro family.
Pro-free markets.
No gay folks invited in.
The right wing will love this!
And libertarians. It's long term pimpin'!

PS: before you ACT NOW, check out the communnity property laws and your prenup. That's the real scam. They get out then get a divorce, then get half from the time of marrying, then kick back to the promoters. Duh.

]]> unPC http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907962 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907962 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:55:11 -0800 Comment by Julie My favorite was the one who, at 26, was "past her baby years", so there's no need to use a condom.

]]> Julie http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907965 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907965 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:56:24 -0800 Comment by Will in Seattle Jail ladies are hot. They need sex too, plus there's an intensity to it that's hard to describe.

But I could do without the drama.

]]> Will in Seattle http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907971 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c907971 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 12:00:04 -0800 Comment by infrequent it's obviously a joke. but it is pretty funny. it works well because jail ladies can be hot.

my favorites were the one in for ID theft and fraud offering to help with finances. priceless!

but the 25 year-old in for three rapes says she hasn't had sex for 15 years? that's not so funny.

]]> infrequent http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908013 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908013 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 12:20:58 -0800 Comment by lilblackcat The FAQ is a great read. Especially the part about the number of prison wives you can have.

]]> lilblackcat http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908016 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908016 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 12:22:11 -0800 Comment by Giffy "Rape, assault with a deadly weapon and rape again."

Yup, thats just the kind of person I want to be locked up in the conjugal trailer with.

]]> Giffy http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908026 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908026 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 12:29:41 -0800 Comment by Giffy From the FAQ:

What about diseases?

All six states that allow conjugal visits require the inmate to test clean for all sexually transmitted diseases before allowing an intimate meeting. That means you can perform your coital acts without the need for sticky, awkward or embarrassingly loose fitting condoms without any risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease. And if you don't come back for six months, you can rest assured that she hasn't been with any other man during that time, so no matter how dirty she may get, she'll always be clean as a whistle where it counts.

]]> Giffy http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908029 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908029 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 12:32:54 -0800 Comment by Max Bialystock Prisoners of Love, blue Skies above, back on the Greaaaat White Waaaaaaaayyyyy.....

]]> Max Bialystock http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908030 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908030 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 12:36:52 -0800 Comment by louley Did anyone else notice the web ads at the bottom of the homepage?

" Human Mulch
Now death is the "green" thing
to do. click here for more!
www.humanmulch.com"

and

"Heath Ledger Autopsy Pics
Brokeback mountain star
as you've never seen him!
www.dailycontempt.com"

and

"Vagina Perfume for Women
The scent of feminism. From
Rosie O'Donnell
www.rosiesvagina.com"

and

"Scientology Loans
Affordable financing because
L Ron would have wanted it!
www.scientologyloans.com"

Brilliant!

]]> louley http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908038 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908038 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 12:49:00 -0800 Comment by arduous Yeah, I really think this makes the top 10 slog posts of all time.

]]> arduous http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908044 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908044 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 12:52:24 -0800 Comment by Paul It's a fake:

http://www.insulting.com

]]> Paul http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908047 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908047 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 12:53:08 -0800 Comment by it's the life in your wife that matters This may be a fake, but I'm sure I saw a real version of this several years ago. The women were hideous as you might expect.

]]> it's the life in your wife that matters http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908072 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908072 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 13:10:06 -0800 Comment by btw And from the same people (domain registered to Vexes Media)
http://www.scientologyloans.com/

]]> btw http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908079 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908079 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 13:14:41 -0800 Comment by gforce bitches ain't shit!

]]> gforce http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908081 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908081 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 13:16:37 -0800 Comment by Maverick @42-No shit.

]]> Maverick http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908088 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908088 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 13:23:45 -0800 Comment by it's not fake it's not fake they took my credit card info and i have an "e-date" this weekend

]]> it's not fake http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908108 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908108 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 13:37:55 -0800 Comment by it's the life in your wife that matters I can't remember if this is the site I was thinking of, but if you are in the market for just a "pen" pal, try this:
http://www.meet-an-inmate.com/ladies/index.html

There's a link to a Big Beautiful Woman site there, too.

]]> it's the life in your wife that matters http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908250 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908250 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 14:56:40 -0800 Comment by Justin Rape, assault with a deadly weapon and rape again.

Someone's been watching Blazing Saddles:

Hedley Lamarr: Qualifications?


Applicant: Rape, murder, arson, and rape.

Hedley Lamarr: You said rape twice.

Applicant: I like rape.


]]> Justin http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908275 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908275 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 15:12:00 -0800 Comment by Johnny I think I'm in love with Lassie. She's young, cute, and, doesn't sound like she's terribly picky which is good because I don't like rejection. Anyhow, I always thought the icepick in the eye thing in Basic Instinct had kind of kinky quality to it. Nothing like the possibility of death to make your dick hard!

]]> Johnny http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908292 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908292 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 15:27:37 -0800 Comment by Justin Rape, assault with a deadly weapon and rape again.

Someone's been watching Blazing Saddles:

Hedley Lamarr: Qualifications?


Applicant: Rape, murder, arson, and rape.

Hedley Lamarr: You said rape twice.

Applicant: I like rape.


]]> Justin http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908294 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/01/a_wife_for_life#c908294 Life Thu, 24 Jan 2008 15:29:58 -0800