This is just sad. Sad sad sad. Lost idealism at its most direct and hurtful.
This seems like on of those hidden variable things. i.e. there is a common cause to both late fucking and poor fucking. This cause may be silly religion, as it does, in fact, ruin everything.
Perhaps the true legacy of "saving it" is not eternal rewards in heaven, but enslavement to the "iron death grip" and your own private hell.
I agree with @2 (and @3). This is a correlation/causation issue, I would bet. People who can't get laid until they're 20 may have the "death grip" problem. People who wait for religious reasons may have the "fucked up about sex" problem. The waiting doesn't cause the sexual dysfunction, other things do...
What about those poor bastards who weren't trying to wait, but simply couldn't get laid until their 20s?
saving? ha. dear women of the world, please fuck more lonely young guys.
What @5 said. The guys I knew who lost their virginity in their 20s didn't really choose to wait that long.
Yay! Glad I was a high school slut! Finally the evidence I was looking for
Well, sheesh, what about the poor nerds who just couldn't get any before then? I got to my now-husband as soon as I could, and he was 22 (which falls somewhere in that "around 21 to 23 years of age" range) and now he's bummed. He wasn't saving it for marriage, he was just shy. I can report that he's doing just fine now, thanks.
@5 - Those poor bastars are bound to have problems anyway.
Ridiculous, flawed study. So what, my future sex life and well-being is in jeopardy if I don't lose it between the ages of 16 and 20? Kind of a narrow window, no?
Dumb.
maybe we should be teaching high schoolers how to get laid. that way we could get the smart ones who actually pay attention to reproduce and avoid this whole idiocracy scenario. this study makes a good argument.
just saying.
remember kids- don't hesitate, procreate!
Agree with other posters on the correlation/causation issue. Another thought - maybe some late-bloomers are blooming late b/c they are just a little less /'driven' than the rest of us? That could easily lead to some of these other problems...
@12 has a good point... I mean, the point of school dances was originally to provide practice in social skills and graces. It wouldn't be a bad idea to have something along the lines of a communication class that taught more social, interpersonal sort of things.
Well ....
fuck.
Well, shit then apparently I'm screwed as a virgin 21/f who is definitely not trying to "save it"
how does masterbating fit in? if you jack off every day until you're 25, will you still have problems — other than being a total loser?
I lost mine at 22, for lack of trying, because I have a low libido. I also have some trouble reaching orgasm. Because I have a low libido. Not because I waited.
I'm a 23/F who's not saving for marriage, just saving it for someone who's not a jackass.
But like teddy b said, what about masturbation? I've had plenty of orgasms via pink sparkley vibe...what does a penis have to do with it?
Granted I grew up religious, but I still didn't WANT to be having sex in high school. The guys were icky, sickly, and overly sentimental. Either that or they were robots.
Plus, @14... that "social skills" class sounds like HELL. PURE UNADULTERATED HELL. My god.
Hey, it wasn't for lack of trying!
@16: Maybe this just applies to the men. God I hope so! I could've knocked this outta the way when I was in high school if I'd known it could cause sexual problems later!
I'm turning 21 tomorrow, and I'm only a virgin because I wanna wait for the right guy. I'm sure as hell not saving it for marriage! I just want to wait until I'm in love.
Now you tell me! Ugh, I would have gone to bed with my nut case hook up in college if I'd known. Damn it DAN! At least I can blame an overdeveloped Catholic upbringing for my delayed orgasms.
I never heard of "Death Grip Syndrome" until now. I'm afraid that I have the symptoms. Any advice on how to cure it? Should I stop selfing all together or gradually do it more gently?
I put a lot of credence on this, and for very good reasons:
1) Everyone knows the biggest sex organ, the one that rules everything, is the brain.
2) The brain continues to develop throughout adoloscence, up to the age of twenty and a bit beyond.
3) Various human physical/social/mental/emotional capacities have a given "window" of time to be developed. For instance, language -- if a person does not learn spoken language by the age of eleven or so, they will NEVER learn to speak, no matter what their ultimate IQ or their other abilities. Is it so hard to accept that the ability to come to orgasm with another human being, an ability which is a profoundly brain-based ability, would likewise have a "window" in which it will develop healthily?
So it follows logically that if social/sexual development is delayed past that window, that sexual performance, ability, and enjoyment would be compromised.
Now, because there are "late bloomers" as much as there are "early developers", late-onset sexual activity is not necessarily correlated with later sexual dysfunction as long as it is the consequence of a generally much delayed physical and social development.
Finally, I speak from experience. I very unwillingly did not lose my virginity until 23, (that is, I wanted to lose it earlier, but a fucked-up religious upbringing and chronic depression stood in my way) and since that time I have suffered from delayed/inability to orgasm, as noted in the study.
As far as I am concerned, there's truth in the study, truth which deserves to be further studied.
Woooo! I lost my virginity at 12. This makes me feel good about myself and my future.
Not giving it away to the first asshole who wanted to fuck me when I was a wee teenager was the best and easiest decision I ever made. I had fucked around plenty before I met the man who finally fucked me at the ripe old age of 22. I waited for love and I don't regret that decision for a second. It didn't work out, we're not together anymore, but I have since had happy, healthy sexual relationship with others. My ex and I did things in bed that would make even Dan's ears twitch. My new guy is much more straight-laced, but an overall better lover. Its not when you do it, it's how and with whom you do it. Just because I wasn't a slut doesn't mean there is anything wrong with me.
So far so good.
In a way, I wish I would have waited till I was 27.
Um, wouldn't the type of person who is slow to start having sex... naturally correlate with the type to be sexually slow or dysfunctional, esepcially being slow to get aroused? I mean, it would just make perfect sense.
Sometimes I wondern if the mainstream media thinks at all about these findings before jumping to their conclusi- oh wait, that would entail being able to think critically. nm
Just pouring salt into an open wound. Fantastic.
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