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Thursday, December 20, 2007

Savage Love Letter of the Day

posted by on December 20 at 15:44 PM


My new boyfriend and I just spent a romantic Friday making love and performing all kinds of love acts. However, about 10 hours after our fabulous day of lovemaking, he developed a rash. He has asked me in a very kind way, whether I thought I had any skin issues or VDs, but as far as I know I’m disease-free. I haven’t even slept with anyone in at least 7 months. This looks a bit to me like a moisture-related folliculitis issue to me. Do you have any ideas? This could put a huge damper on this fabulous new relationship I’m in and I’m very worried that he may have trust issues after this if I’m to blame. Please help!

Back East

BE here was kind enough to enclose a photograph of her boyfriend’s rash for me—it’s right up there at the top of the post. That picture? Did you notice it? Scroll back up, if you missed it, and take another look. Or click here for a bigger version. I’ll wait.


Okay, a lot of people think my sex-advice gig is an easy-peasy stroll in through a park full of pervs. But there are risks, people, occupational hazards. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been innocently reading through the ol’ email and—bam!—up pops a picture like the one above. I opened this email from Back East—click here for a hi-rez version of the photo she enclosed!—while I was eating my lunch. I nearly choked to death on my spring roll. I should be getting combat pay here.

Most people that send me pictures of the sores on their cocks, labia, sacks, and assholes me they’re “too embarrassed” to see a doctor, but they’re not too embarrassed to take a picture and email it to me. Since I’m not a doctor, and can’t proscribe anti-crotch-rot-otics through the column, the folks that send me pictures like this still have to go to the doctor. By writing me they’ve just delayed an inevitable doctor’s visit and, in most cases, allowed symptoms to worsen.

But I don’t think Back East’s boyfriend has an STI. There are no STIs that I’m aware of with a 10 hour exposure-to-breakout turnaround time. And those don’t look like any syphilis sores or scabies’ bites or anything else I’ve ever seen on YouTube. What it looks like is a weird allergic reaction, as Back East suggests. But if Back East’s boyfriend is concerned—and wouldn’t you be if this happened to you?—he should GO SEE A DOCTOR, not send pictures like this one to me.

RSS icon Comments


Dan, your son must be proud.

Posted by This is how he makes his living | December 20, 2007 3:46 PM

You know, for a pansy you sure are a pansy. That photo's not that bad. It's a little rash. Go to the doc. He sees worse every day. I see worse every day.

Posted by Fnarf | December 20, 2007 3:47 PM

then don't fucking post them here

Posted by *gong* | December 20, 2007 3:47 PM

That just turned me asexual

Posted by N | December 20, 2007 3:48 PM

Well... I'll need to be more careful when I check this website from work, from now on.

Posted by brad | December 20, 2007 3:48 PM

I was expecting something COMPLETELY different. This was a major disappointment.

Posted by Mr. Poe | December 20, 2007 3:49 PM

If someone's too embarrassed to see their doctor they just need to go down to the clinic. Yeah, it'll take all day but do that or suck it up and see your regular doctor.

Posted by Matt from Denver | December 20, 2007 3:50 PM

Hmmm... @5 may have a point.

It would be hard for me to 'splain this pic to the interwebs police at work. I typically never open anything that could even possibly have work-inappropriate images -- I don't expect a giant pussy picture when I click on, say, a monorail post but I sure wait till I get home to click on anything that hints of the sexual or lurid.

While this is merely a medical image -- and no one would bust me (I hope) for looking at or similar at work, this is different.

Dan -- is Slog NSFW? Should we approach it with that in mind? What's your counsel on this matter, sir?

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | December 20, 2007 3:53 PM

If you rode the bus more, you'd be less of a pussy about things like this.

Posted by David | December 20, 2007 3:54 PM

So, no pit bulls then? :-(

If you're too embarrassed to see your doctor about something really embarrassing then you have the wrong doctor.

Posted by monkey | December 20, 2007 3:54 PM

My first thought upon reading this post? Spring rolls sound delicious; perhaps I'll go to Roma Thai for dinner.

Nothing, nothing like this can shock or surprise anyone who attended medical school. Talk to your docs, people!

Posted by Jonathan Golob | December 20, 2007 3:54 PM


What? You make it sound like being a Nationally Syndicated Sex Advice Columnist and Best Selling Author is a BAD thing!

Hell, I would have killed to have either of those as a parent when I was growing up!

Posted by DanFan | December 20, 2007 3:55 PM

Hydrocortisone ointment. The highest-test stuff they can get OTC. It'll be gone in 12 hours. And yes, Dan, you're a woos -- it's a plain old, garden-variety rash. Most likely a reaction to stress.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty | December 20, 2007 3:56 PM

and please dude, trim that a little bit- if you want a girl to go down on you please groom yourself so that she's not flossing her teeth with your pubes anytime she gets near your cock!!!

Posted by NELBOT | December 20, 2007 3:59 PM

Ari beat this yesterday, this post was killed by the hype

Posted by vooodooo84 | December 20, 2007 4:01 PM

man, sean nelson really dopesn't photograph well.

Posted by abab | December 20, 2007 4:01 PM

Bloody hell!

Excuse me while I dump my entire dinner into the dust bin.

Posted by YO | December 20, 2007 4:02 PM

ehhh... pretty tame, you should know that by now all slogites(slogsters, slogheads, slogfucks ???) are not easily shocked, in fact our souls are not unlike shriveled little prunes. We are this way, and damn proud to be the bitter minions we've become.

That said, good point about people being too embarrassed to talk to their M.D.s etc. , and thank you for filtering some of the ickyness from us, for everyones sake.

Posted by pissy mcslogbot | December 20, 2007 4:02 PM

Where the hell is my unicorn chaser?!?

Posted by db | December 20, 2007 4:03 PM

If he pounds too hard, do all of the zits create a new type of lube when they burst?

Posted by Mr. Poe | December 20, 2007 4:03 PM

wow - we never see stuff like that.
it looks like the plague.
someone got that from making love? (that's for you michelle)

Posted by 3rd floor | December 20, 2007 4:04 PM

That looks like molluscum contagiosum, which is a common rash among pre-schoolers but in adults is considered and STD because it is transmitted through direct skin-to-skin contact. I also read recently that molluscum is a form of HPV (the virus that causes warts). Anyway, that's a pretty severe case, whatever it is. I'd be calling my doctor in the middle of the night, fuck, I'd be in the damn ER if that were me.

Posted by oh lordy | December 20, 2007 4:04 PM

Gross Poe, pus as lube, now that would have been a disgusting post

Posted by vooodooo84 | December 20, 2007 4:06 PM

Thanks for sharing your pain, Dan. Although I would still MUCH rather have your career, with the occasional pictures of diseased genitalia, than mine.

Posted by Hernandez | December 20, 2007 4:06 PM

I'm just trying to fix the lameness that is this post.

Maybe she could suck them all off and they could snowball the pus.

Posted by Mr. Poe | December 20, 2007 4:07 PM

Oh, and if it is molluscum contagiosum, BE is no longer disease free. As the name suggests, it is very contagious.

Posted by oh lordy | December 20, 2007 4:08 PM

If you ain't gonna see the doctor, at least groom with some furious scratching. You don't want the girlfriend flossing with pubes AND world's tiniest creme brulees.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | December 20, 2007 4:08 PM

and it's ugly, but harmless:

Posted by it is this | December 20, 2007 4:09 PM

It looks like molluscum to me, I had a similar problem in my early 20's and that's what it was. Itches like hell. Interesting about the HPV connection, I'll have to read up on it. See a dermatologist, they can freeze those things off with that cryo-spray stuff. I was seeing my doc for moles and I was like "oh, by the way", and he whipped out the can, sprayed the areas, and that was that.

Pray they're not on the unit.

Posted by grizzly bear | December 20, 2007 4:10 PM

@ 27, the post didn't put me off but "world's tiniest creme brulees" just might. Good work.

Posted by Matt from Denver | December 20, 2007 4:10 PM

Meh. As long as there are no oiled ho's, my lunch is safe.

PS, this pic is considered the grossest pic in the world (by the BBC) not featuring Coprophagia:

SFWBNSFD = safe for work but not safe for dining. Those are fly maggots.

Posted by Natalie | December 20, 2007 4:13 PM

@27 - Why??????

Posted by YO | December 20, 2007 4:16 PM

@5 and @8, I'm with you. Slog is my constant work-idling companion, but for heaven's sake man, don't get me fired. I'll be in no mood to read Slog then.

And while we're at it, I could have done without yesterday's pit-bull story. Sheesh, Dan.

Posted by Lola | December 20, 2007 4:16 PM

looks like staph

Posted by matt | December 20, 2007 4:22 PM

whatever that is, it's not caused by any form of HPV. that i can assure you.

Posted by brandon | December 20, 2007 4:25 PM

Seriously, see a doctor.

If you are tempted to send a pic cause you don't know what it is ... see a doctor.

If you're embarrassed - try Planned Parenthood and ask to be a confidential visit and pay cash if you're that embarrassed.

Posted by Will in Seattle | December 20, 2007 4:27 PM

and that pic is why we have under the fold pics and links, Dan ... seriously.

Posted by Will in Seattle | December 20, 2007 4:29 PM

Molluscum contagiosum or herpes can look a bitlike that, but as Dan points out they don't show up 10 hours after exposure. Molluscum, for example, has an incubation period measured in weeks. My guess is allergy/irritation, though if the rash lasts more than a day or is extremely painful a trip to the doc might be warranted. I have to wonder, though, does Dan torture his resident medical expert with all things poo-related as some form of obscure revenge on those of us in the medical profession because we don't get sent as many pics like this as he does?

Posted by Beguine | December 20, 2007 4:31 PM

Mr. Poe, you're a sick fuck. But I think I like you.

Posted by Spoogie | December 20, 2007 4:32 PM


Posted by wisepunk | December 20, 2007 4:32 PM


That was Schmader's post.


Slog Happy, Jan 10th. If you're lucky, I'll let you buy me a drink.

Posted by Mr. Poe | December 20, 2007 4:35 PM

Tell her it's that thing that's turning that Indonesian guy into a giant tree/dust bunny, and that there's no cure.

Then stop answering letters with attached pictures.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | December 20, 2007 4:43 PM

Oh, yeah--and tell them to give up meth.

Just in case.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | December 20, 2007 4:46 PM

This is why I find myself addicted to the Slog. The sickest shit isn't in the post, but rather these comments.

Posted by thehawke | December 20, 2007 4:54 PM

Mr. Poe, you are one gross motherfucker. Fuuuuuuuuuck.

Posted by Gloria | December 20, 2007 5:03 PM

I'll put in my $0.02... ask what type of underwear he usually wears, if it's bikini briefs or tightie-whities then it's prolly' some new detergent he's using, the patterns go up and across the hips like the cloth and band were irritating his skin. Folliculitis is usually from shaving (NOT EVIDENT HERE - heh!) and as others have pointed out Molluscum takes weeks to develop.

Posted by Colton | December 20, 2007 5:18 PM

Dan, I think this is going to discourage many readers from sending you gross pictures of their sores and rashes, for fear of having them posted on the slog. Your normal readers.

But do you realize that this is going to encourage a flood of truly disgusting images from your sickest, most infected, most far gone exhibitionist freak readers, right?

Oh, go ahead and post them. I already block all the images at work.

Posted by elenchos | December 20, 2007 5:20 PM

We need more Eydie Gorme videos, Dan. Or Judy Garland videos. . . .

Posted by Michigan Matt | December 20, 2007 5:25 PM

When I first saw it, I figured it was a shaving/waxing rash, but as has been posted, clearly this person hasn't been doing either of those.

Time to go to the doc, man.

Posted by la | December 20, 2007 5:33 PM

This is really only sorta mildly gross, not puke-up-my-lunch gross. (Poe, on the other hand, is seriously gross.) And NSFW? Pah-lease! If you work at a place that uptight, you probably shouldn't be reading SLOG at all.

I have no idea what it is either, but I can assure you that any doctor has seen far worse. Probably on a daily basis. The doc will not even blink twice at something like this. If people are too embarrassed to see a doctor about something as mundane as this, then they seriously need to rethink what they think a doctor is for. Fuck, people, get with it.

Posted by SDA in SEA | December 20, 2007 5:41 PM


Tell me about it.


Oh, go ahead and post them. I already block all the images at work.

Now there will be no point for Dan to post them, because elenchos blocks all the images at work.


Posted by Mr. Poe | December 20, 2007 5:41 PM



Posted by Irena | December 20, 2007 5:50 PM

Thanks! Now everyone will, heh.

Posted by Natalie | December 20, 2007 5:55 PM

I had a case of chiggers once that looked like that. They like to crawl under tight fitting clothing. They itch like mad. Had he been in some tall grass?

Posted by Not a doc | December 20, 2007 5:56 PM

Yup, the maggoty gums pix is nasty (oops!). Flossing isn't going to help THAT. Just bare your teeth, doctorphobe, and get in front of a dog's paw while he's scratching a tick.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | December 20, 2007 6:02 PM

They ARE creme brulees, and the only way to fix 'em is with one of those little kitchen torches. Sizzle!

Posted by Fnarf | December 20, 2007 6:07 PM

I don't get the embarrassment about going to the doctor, especially in the aftermath of some good old fashioned boyfriend/girlfriend fucking.

Now, if the guy had just fucked an inanimate object or a member of a different species, I would understand the embarrassment.

Posted by keshmeshi | December 20, 2007 6:11 PM

It's not Molluscum, you morons.

Molluscum doesn't present like a rash, and it doesn't itch. It also doesn't appear overnight. It's also not a pus-filled blister.

That said, I sincerely hope that "choked to death on my spring roll" isn't a euphemism.

Posted by A Non Imus | December 20, 2007 6:15 PM

From what I can see, it looks like Herpes Roster: shingles.

It's a re-activation of the chicken pox virus.

Posted by CallMeNobody | December 20, 2007 6:25 PM

@59 Zoster, dude

Posted by Katelyn | December 20, 2007 6:28 PM


Gah, you beat me to the correction.

Posted by CallMeNobody | December 20, 2007 6:32 PM

I always thought "Zoster" would make a nice name for a boy-child.

Posted by Katelyn | December 20, 2007 6:36 PM

Zoster? I could see that in a mixed WASP/Zorostrian family. Kind of an amalgamation of Foster and Zoroaster.

It could work.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | December 20, 2007 6:53 PM

it's contact dermatitis i think--from sweaty/wet undies or something like that...zinc oxide usually clears/dries it up (lots of people get it from wet bathing suits against their skin)

/not a doctor either but i had something that looks like that every single summer when younger

Posted by amberglow | December 20, 2007 7:00 PM

I think in this instance you mean "Prescribe" instead of "Proscribe". Proscribe is to condemn.

Honest enough mistake; this is a blog and all. Just a head up.

Posted by brandon H | December 20, 2007 7:36 PM

Hmm... so this is where the images that make up "The Pain Series [NSFW!!!!!!!!!]" come from.

Seriously. Dont click that link unless you know what it is, exactly, that the pain series are. It is not at all work safe (but you wouldn't be reading these comments if any of this was work safe, would you?).

Posted by crk on bellevue ave | December 20, 2007 7:40 PM

it could also be herpes...and the guy could have been developing it beforehand. why has no one asked what the guys history is?

Posted by not a doctor | December 20, 2007 8:06 PM

Dan, someone should thank you for not posting a picture of a sore on someone's asshole. Thank you, Dan. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Posted by Matt from Denver | December 20, 2007 9:03 PM

Geesh Dan, misery loves company?

I guess I should have taken the comment from the gay Iranian teenager post talking about the hanging picture was more disturbing than the other one a little bit more seriously.

I can only assume people send you pictures instead of going to the doctor because they can at least remain a bit anonymous where as a doctor is face to face. Or face to cock, labia, sacks or assholes.

Posted by GirlDuJourToday | December 20, 2007 9:09 PM

The writers' strike is directly responsible for me (1)reading this post and (2) reading the comments and (3) commenting. Where the fuck is the good tv when you need it? i.e. when this shit is being posted on the SLOG. Maybe Dan's missing his tv too much too.

Posted by M | December 20, 2007 9:36 PM

Gadzooks Man, I was just about to go bed, now I will be chased in my dreams by hairy monsters with ingrown pustules!

Posted by Bill | December 20, 2007 9:46 PM

I'd much rather have a case of what this guy has, then what those gay teens got in Iran. That is the disturbing photo. Not this, which honestly, I think Dan stole off "Casual Encounters" on craigslist.

Posted by superyeadon | December 20, 2007 10:10 PM

@66: You just scarred me.

Posted by AMB | December 20, 2007 11:22 PM


I bet that Dan's kid gets another few years before he realizes what a POS "Dad" is.

I suspect that a hardy rebellion takes place once it is clear who and what Dan is.

You reap what you sew. And as we all know, Dan thinks it's ok to yell and scream curses like "fuck, shit, and asshole" at your kid. It's ok according to Dan to call your children horrible names when you are upset. After all it's better than beating them.

Right Dan?

You certainly make other Gay parents proud...

Come to think of it, it isn't any wonder you have a sick facination with abused children...

Posted by ecce homo | December 21, 2007 1:26 AM

please leave, ecce homo. you add nothing. ever.

Posted by fixo | December 21, 2007 1:50 AM

You reap what you sew? That must be a pretty damn interesting harvest, what with all the newly hemmed Anne Klein slacks and homemade fragrance sachets coming right up out of the ground.

Also, gross.

Posted by StotheL | December 21, 2007 2:51 AM

Augh, Fnarf! Fuck! Fuck!

Posted by Gloria | December 21, 2007 4:33 AM

Oh, ecce. I love you.

Posted by Dan Savage | December 21, 2007 6:55 AM

Like I've said before, you only get combat pay if the photographs shoot at you. Otherwise it's just hazardous-duty pay.

Posted by Greg | December 21, 2007 7:44 AM

@74 - It looks like ecce got into the scotch again. I can almost hear him slurring as he types.

Posted by Mahtli69 | December 21, 2007 8:00 AM

Very probably molluscum. Molluscom can have several different forms. It's usually dimpled with a hard core, but can also have a state where it's blistered with opaque fluid.

No, she didn't give it to him the night before. It was in his system already, possibly exposed 1-3 weeks before, possibly much longer.

Freezing will work, though it might take several treatments. Lancing is faster, but there's a chance of spreading even further if it's done the wrong way. Either way, he needs to go to the dermatologist.

There are actually a lot of unknowns about this STI -- it's not serious and doesn't get much attention.

@Dan -- I'd also hate to see these pics when I'm eating, but I'm you'll get less grossed out over time (for whatever that's worth.)

Posted by been there | December 21, 2007 9:22 AM

ecce and dan are totally fucking.

Posted by amused as shit | December 21, 2007 10:09 AM

@82 - And ecce got this weird rash.

Posted by Mahtli69 | December 21, 2007 10:31 AM

Meh. That's not too bad. I'm indexing a book right now that about reconstructive surgery. Full color Genital and Anal reconstructive surgery pics of the elderly though....

Posted by Hosono | December 21, 2007 10:53 AM


Posted by M | December 21, 2007 11:03 AM
Posted by M | December 21, 2007 11:04 AM

Sometimes I wonder if Ecce is Tagg Romney.

Posted by Tagg you're it | December 21, 2007 11:14 AM


For fuck's sake. The only correct statement you made is that they guy should see a doctor.

Molluscum is a not a blister, you can't fucking lance it, and it's incredibly well-known. It's caused by a variant of vaccinia virus, which is one of the

Posted by A Non Imus | December 21, 2007 11:23 AM

...pox viri, and it's been characterized since the mid-1800s.

Please shut the fuck up, now. Thanks.

Posted by A Non Imus | December 21, 2007 11:26 AM


Respectfully, I disagree. I am not a doctor, and could be wrong, as I'm sure you'll continue to say.

But this photo looks exactly like what I had. My dermatologist is the head of dermatology at a major university. She knew at first look it was molluscom.

Treatment was freezing. But when new sores appeared, I used sharp tweezers to dig out the core. It worked.

At the time, I did my best to dig through all the literature I could find. There were unanswered questions the papers were discussing, including why it's rare to find the sores on the bottom lip.

In any event, the guy should see a doctor.


Posted by been there | December 21, 2007 4:06 PM

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