If he can't understand that the place you're living is killing you, he's not the right guy.

You must do whatever it takes to get yourself happy, and if that's never going to occur in Seattle, and he's never going to leave....well, the math kinda does itself, doesn't it?

I think it would be foolhardy to up and break off a relationship she's so happy in. Just like most relationship logistics, communication is the answer here. She should ask her boyfriend to seriously think it over for the next few months, and explain why she wouldn't want to wait until the last minute. Let's say she gives him until the first day of spring. Until March 21st, they can keep having the wonderful relationship they have, and not focus on the impending summer move and what it will bring, because 1) it will be resolved by then and 2) letting him think about how great they are together (or otherwise) will come a lot easier without a verbal reassessment between them along the way. Just put it out there, enjoy at least a few more months of a good thing, and if it have to ends there will be plenty of time to do so and bounce back with the warming weather.

Just make sure you love the new digs before you date again. Being dumped because of a disagreeable climate sucks ass.

BTW saying everyone else is cold and isolated is kind of like saying everyone else is crazy. Might want to take a closer look at your demeanor and actions before blaming the roughly 600,000 people living in Seattle for your misery.

(ok ok, pretty much what everyone above said.)

Well, actually, yeah, it might be. But she still needs to say it.

Playing D's A, he might end up relieved.

But if he isn't, he can stand outside every time it drizzles and cry under the clouds (and the tears will mingle with the rain on his cheeks!). It's the ultimate pathetic fallacy. For this alone, I hope he decides not to move and forces her to break up with him.

And most of the time, the people who claim everyone here is "cold and isolated" aren't very friendly or open themselves. I'm just saying, whenever you point a finger at someone there's four other fingers pointing back at you.

I hear Portland is accepting new citizens.

Is it semi-commutable? A good bf would consider flying to SF if there was anything there ... or Spokane or Portland. And they have cheap flights to NYC.

Also, French people. Not saying they're cold and isolated ... but you know. It's a possibility.

It's gotta be south if she's going anywhere.

One of my best friends just moved back to FL after spending 7+ years up here. She never tired of bitching about the same things: the weather, the people, the winters.

However, NRT might want to think about this: aforementioned friend is now back in her beloved FL, miserable because she knows nobody except her parents and husband, complaining about how it's 80 all the time, and surrounded by rednecks. All her friends live up here and can't afford to fly to her.

As the move approaches, you should definitely communicate about it. Maybe he'd be more into moving to Austin than NYC, or whatever.

If you two continue getting close and maybe he begins to believe there's stuff to experience in the US besides Seattle, maybe it'll work out. If he doesn't move with you, then at least you spent a good chunk of your best days with someone you think is wonderful.

Plus, if you think Seattle blows now, I bet it's quite a bit worse when you're not routinely getting laid.

Give it a chance. If he doesn't want to move, then bounce on his ass and find someone new wherever you go. If you try out new cities, you can try out new men.

What's with all this trying to get through life unscathed? Don't stress. There's plenty more asskickings and broken hearts in store for this life time. Stand them with the your legs under you and whenever you can, give some back.

Dumb the BF and move to sunny warm Palm Springs. The people there will be happy to talk with you. They'll think you are their grand-child!

If she's not happy then she should leave. If he's truly happy there though she can ask but can't expect him to follow.

That'll teach 'em to think we're not friendly. Dammit!

We've certainly NEVER heard this from ANYONE else .....

In friendship and welcoming,

If that's not the cause of some of her SADness, then I vote for one last kiss goodbye right before she jumps into her car with all your stuff and ship off. Take several days to drive to wherever she's going, meet new people on the way or stop and stay with friends. getting settled into her new life will keep you busy enough to get over the old guy.

Also, even though I've only lived here for five years, I second the notion of needing some BADASS-ness to live up here. for my part, I'm a bicycle commuter all year long, rain or shine or snow.

So that's convenient and all!

Also, you're an idiot for moving out of Seattle in the summer. Move if you must, but why leave during the 3 months of spectacular weather that we get? Move now or move next fall.

Also, people are people. Protestations to the contrary, Seattle people aren't all that different than people in a warmer climate. If you think you're going to find dramatically friendlier people somewhere else, you're delusional.

And you don't get to take care of anyone else until you take care of yourself.

But if you can't take it, get out. Where is it better, LA? Miami? Right.

Besides, there's probably a 1000 "Mr. Rights" for you in 'Murka. Asking someone to leave their hometown is mean. Unless it's Cincinnati. Cincinnati sucks ass.

I would know.

...everywhere in the Western world.

(Although it's more notable in Capitol Hill, which isn't surprising since it's more of a central nightlife spot than an informal making-friends spot.)

You’re not moving till next summer. Give it time and lighten up. Enjoy being with this amazing guy and get some good orgasms out of it. Don’t pressure, nag, or obsess as women tend to do. Yes your heart may be broken come summer time but if you dump him now you’ll be broken hearted in a city that you hate for no good reason. What’s better than living in a brand new city to get over a guy? If you end up giving him an ultimatum he’ll stay. You two aren’t even married and you’re already forcing his hand on some pretty heavy shit. He’ll end up seeing a lifetime of this in the future and run. Or stay as the case may be.

the weather, though, is still iffy; last year we had a storm every single thursday (it seemed like) from april through december. and yet, yesterday in the middle of december while much of the midwest was covered in ice, we had temperatures in the seventies. it's whimsical, which is fun, you just can't plan for it is all i'm saying.

oh, and 45 is right. cincinnati is the absolute worst.

It's largely due to the fact that nobody in Seattle is getting laid, unless they have ovaries.

The dirty little secret about Seattle is that it's about 75% single guys. Go to a bar? Single guys. A party? Single guys. Dance lessons? Single guys. The ballet? I don't know, but most likely a bunch of single guys who heard it was a good place to meet women.

At the end of the day, this sad state of affairs makes it impossible to make friends here: women are tired of being approached constantly, and do seemingly anything in their power to prevent social interactions with men. Meanwhile, the men are too busy elbowing one another (so that they can win 30 seconds of rejection from the troglodyte in the corner), to make friends with any guy whom they don't already know.

Mix that shit up with 9 months of drizzle and darkness, the asian/norwegian "reserved" culture, an overwhelming number of book and computer nerds, cliquish Stranger-hipsters who are doing their damndest to imitate something they heard about New York or San Francisco on the intarweb, and self-satisfied hippies, and you've got a recipe for World Class social dysfunction...

As you may have noticed, many people here play defense and refuse to say "You know what, that aspect of our city totally sucks and you can still be my friend".

Most people here are much more cold and judgmental than elsewhere to me. This is the fifth place I've lived (and its my hometown) and coming back after years away was depressing and perplexing for at least the first year. I love many things about this city, but the weather and social culture are things that you can't change.

This was expounded by the fact that I've been in a similar situation for years can honestly say that if you and the man aren't happy in the same place then your relationship is going to get fucking fierce down the road when one of you gets restless and wants to move on. Get it worked out sooner or later, because it won't get better with time.

Be honest, tell him you are going to move for sure in...6 months?...whatever you've decided. Tell him you love him and you want him to come with you, but you understand that he likes Seattle, has family here, etc. Tell him that in order for you to plan a move, you need to know if he's coming with you by...May 1st? Or however amount of time you think you need to get a new apartment, pack everything, etc., but give the guy a couple of months to think about it. Then don't bring it up and let him think it over until he's ready to talk about it with you.
Will a guy leave his friends, his family, his job, and a place he likes to live in, all for you? I don't know about your bf, but mine did. Of course, he wouldn't have moved to the rednecked woods of Alabama with me, nor would I have asked him to, but he was willing to drive 3000 miles to SF.
So let him have input on where you go. He might say yes to a west coast city but no to a east coast suburb.