Politics Be Dave’s Intern
posted by on December 19 at 13:33 PM
posted by news intern Brian Slodysko
Pssst…hey Slog readers. Put the bong down and log off the Daily Kos for a second. Here’s your chance to pay those evil Republicans back for suckling the bourgeois teat of big business and stealing healthcare from crippled children.
Congressman Dave Reichert is looking for an intern. Now you can do to the Republican party what Karl Rove has been doing to democracy since he was president of the College Republicans. Pull some Nixonian ratfucking.
Put on a suit-and-tie and schedule interview today. The application form is here.
This help-wanted letter arrived from the UW today:
October 18, 2007To Whom It May Concern:
We are seeking interns for our 8th Congressional District Office in Mercer Island. These positions will provide students the opportunity for hands-on experience in a fast-paced Congressional office.
Intern duties include investigating constituent requests, drafting correspondence, reading local newspapers for pertinent articles, answering telephones, entering data and greeting visitors. Interns may also be assigned longer-term research or outreach projects.
This is an excellent opportunity for college students and graduates seeking experience in a constituent-focused office in the federal government’s legislative branch. A successful candidate will be an energetic self-starter and should have exceptional communication, computer and administrative skills.
Part-time positions with flexible scheduling are available. Please contact Gwen Fraser if you have any questions or would like to apply. You can reach Gwen at 206-275-3438 or by email at gwen.fraser@mail.house.gov.
Sincerely,
David G. Reichert
Member of Congress
I think we should encourage a male prostitute to go undercover and bang Reichert while wearing an American flag or something.
His intern better be gay or disabled. Otherwise they should be in Iraq.
This has got Mr. Poe written all over it.
@3: I totally agree. My advice? Save every phone call and tape every meeting. Then you either have a way to tank yet another republican, or a sweet way to make extra holiday cash.
Ill do it if I can use Stranger writers to pretend they are references.
Dare I make my move?!@?! I can think of a couple of guys who would frown if I were to do so, well, fuck it. I'll humor this.
@5
Baby, leave this to the pro.
Huh. It's not asking me for any pictures, and my writing samples will make him puke. I'd either need help with this, or, hell, go for it Blaire.
But give him my phone number. And some pics. Bow-chica-wow-wooow!
@ 7/8 Who is the expert now?
Don't you have to sign a blood oath to sell your soul to Satan to be Reichert's intern?
Not many people are going to want to do that ...
@9
I'll always be the expert. I just have this problem with "goals".
Like I said, give him my number. Visiting hours are 9 to 5.
Bow-chica-wow-woooow!
Bzzzzt.
Not cool at all.
Go fight Reichert the fair way.
Being sneakl will only rebound and hurt the Democrats.
It'll come out then it will come out that the sneaky intern is gave $25 to the Democrats a year ago or used to be a volunteer for Darcy Burner or some shit like that.
Then the grown ups will have to condemn this & it will hurt Darcy Burner. Also get all over O'Reilly and Fox (A newspaper in liberal Seattle is actually telling readers to lie and infiltrate a blah blah").
Just go work for Darcy.
Duh.
Who is this Darcy that everybody periodically talks about?
Hmmm, I have recently been put in the market for a new job (thank you, local bank with our state's name in the title who shit canned a bunch of people two weeks before Christmas). Maybe I should apply.
@13
She's the PTA mom. Or whatever.
PTA?
Oh.
I thought this was a higher-stakes something.
It's the future of our nation, @16.
Darcy is to politics what Sack Lunch is to The English Patient.
Huh. Under Job Description is says suck and fuck, cook and clean, get down on the ground and bang like a bitch.
Yep, sounds like a typical day as a Congressional staffer.
...or maybe they got that job posting mixed up with the Congressional pages...
Do I get to wear my blue dress?
The mental giants at this site never fail to amaze me. Heaven borbid someone actually wants to better themselves politcally or help their local member of Congress.
Not to mention the entire premise of "faking an internship" never works - not even Rove pulled it off without being caught. But I'm sure the bong readers on this thread already figured that out via a Google search.
Pathetic.
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