Media Opening Sentence of the Year (Or, Speaking of Fat Spouses…)
posted by on December 10 at 11:24 AM
From the New York Post:
Slain Staten Island fire marshal Douglas Mercereau’s full-figured wife—who some believe was driven to murder by humiliating fat jokes he made at her expense—was the elephant in the room at his funeral yesterday as detectives spent the day trying to build a case against her.
Bravo! Full story here.
Thank you, Slog tipper Jake.
word is the people of size mob has a contract out on savage.
He'll want to super-size the locks on his doors, for sure!
ˇviva gordas de la revolución!
lmao, so easy yet so satisfying.
Holy shit. That writer has brass cajones. Brass cajones.
I'm dying here. Dying. That's awesome.
"Ginny Sack? When Ginny hauls ass she has to make two trips."
Does this weird new obsession with fat people mean you all Stranger folk are going to post fewer stories about hetero parents torturing and killing their children? If so, I'm all for this new trend. A big net improvement.
I hear that Obese heterosexual couples often use pit bulls to torture their children into supporting the viaduct rebuild.
"Oh they will know we are Fatties by..."
Oh, that was awesome. Kudos to the writer!
@ 7
I hear she's having a 95-pound mole taken off her ass.
Omg that is REALLY hilarious.
I imagine the trial verdict could hinge on whether she faithful 100%.
I climaxed when I read that.
Of course the remark about the elephant could mean she is a Republican...
@1 - that's OK, he can outrun them any day.
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