Slog - Comments on Modesty Is a Guard to Virtue http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue My boyfriend's one-eyed poodle was in our bed last night. And he just couldn't stop licking himself--the poodle, not the boyfriend--and making these awful smacking sounds all night long, sounds that drove me out of my own bedroom at three in the morning. So I'd happily contribute to this woman's legal defense fund: A 25-year-old woman was arrested for investigation of second-degree assault for getting into an argument with her boyfriend over whether his dog should be in the bathroom while the couple were taking a shower together. A police report said the 26-year-old man wanted his dog to join... Copyright 2008 Sat, 29 Dec 2007 08:50:28 -0800 Mon, 31 Dec 2007 16:02:41 -0800 http://www.movabletype.org/?v=3.34 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Comment by Y.F. Dan,

I predict you'll be getting a letter to Savage Love shortly from a guy with a dog fetish and a girlfriend who isn't GGG.

]]> Y.F. http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884859 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884859 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 09:11:30 -0800 Comment by Uncle Vinny "My boyfriend's one-eyed poodle was in our bed last night..."

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

]]> Uncle Vinny http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884860 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884860 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 09:11:31 -0800 Comment by whatever License bikes not dogs

]]> whatever http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884861 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884861 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 09:13:59 -0800 Comment by RainMan A one eyed poodle? Did you name him Cyclops?

]]> RainMan http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884865 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884865 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 09:24:51 -0800 Comment by Packratt I'd be willing to bet that a jar of peanut butter was involved somehow...

after all, just like the prize in a box of Cracka Jack, there's always peanut butter somwhere inside these kinds of dog jokes.

]]> Packratt http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884871 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884871 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 09:37:28 -0800 Comment by Fnarf No, no, Packratt -- Nutella.

]]> Fnarf http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884874 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884874 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 09:39:14 -0800 Comment by Jubilation T. Cornball Are you familiar with the work of William Makepeace Thackeray, specifically "Sultan Stork?"

In it is the following passage:

"Munsoor had nothing for it but to wish himself a dog; he turned to the east, nodded his head thrice, swallowed the powder, and lo! there he was -- a poodle -- an old fat lame one-eyed poodle; whose appearance made his master laugh inordinately, though Munsoor himself, remembering the prohibition and penalty, was far too wise to indulge in any such cachinnation."

Big words (cachinnation!), swallowed powders, one-eyed poodle -- it's all very "Stranger," n'est pas?

]]> Jubilation T. Cornball http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884877 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884877 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 09:39:53 -0800 Comment by konstantConsumer craziness. my dog sleeps in the bed, unless someone else is there instead. then she's on the couch.

]]> konstantConsumer http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884883 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884883 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 09:51:23 -0800 Comment by catalina vel-duray The Colonel and I sleep with three dachshunds, a Pomerainian and occassionally a very grumpy tomcat.

]]> catalina vel-duray http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884886 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884886 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 09:57:38 -0800 Comment by Peter "He replied that maybe his next girlfriend would appreciate the dog more, and called her a name."


Maybe he called her a bitch

]]> Peter http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884896 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884896 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 10:36:30 -0800 Comment by Peter You usually refer to it as your kid's dog.


Do you have TWO?

]]> Peter http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884897 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884897 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 10:37:23 -0800 Comment by Jessica I thought the dog was the son's?

Our cat does the same thing. After midnight is prime genital-licking time, preferably on my side of the bed so the husband can't reach her. The only thing that makes it better is after 20 minutes of cleaning, she hops off to vomit on the floor. It's the best alarm in the world, but invariably makes me wake up homicidal.

]]> Jessica http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884901 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884901 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 10:41:50 -0800 Comment by Peter That wasn't me, Peter, it was a different Peter. Not sure why I feel I need to point that out...

]]> Peter http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884902 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884902 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 10:51:03 -0800 Comment by Jim I am totally on her side her.

]]> Jim http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884920 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884920 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 11:46:25 -0800 Comment by flamingbanjo So domestic violence is hilarious if the victim is a man? Got it. Duly noted.

]]> flamingbanjo http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884935 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884935 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 12:44:59 -0800 Comment by M I had a one eyed Poodle - Reggie. He slept in the bed as do all my dogs. I think it's funny when a guy can't have sex if there's a dog in the room...not even on the bed.. just in the room, like the dog is going to judge him or something..

]]> M http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884936 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884936 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 12:54:50 -0800 Comment by Marty @15 Good point. If the woman had been the victim, well then, fry him and string him up, right? I mean seriously.

]]> Marty http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884940 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884940 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 12:57:59 -0800 Comment by violet_dagrinder You know, I think it would be severely creepy to be famous. "Wait, isn't it your kid's dog?" Why, yes, perfect stranger, it is! THAT WASN'T THE POINT. >:-\

]]> violet_dagrinder http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884944 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884944 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 13:07:29 -0800 Comment by Fifty-Two-Eighty Dan's famous?? Whoa, hold on a minute, I missed something here.

]]> Fifty-Two-Eighty http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884947 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884947 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 13:15:31 -0800 Comment by mj
Sweet! You adopted a one eyed poodle which proves you really are a softy.
You can't deny it because you let the dog have your bed and you went to the couch so do not even try.

I'm not near as nice as you. That dog would have been thrown out of my roon without a doubt.
I'm nice when I'm awake but when I'm half asleep I can be a monster.

]]> mj http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884948 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884948 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 13:15:47 -0800 Comment by Pete Hey Peter @ 13

Come up with a more unique name if you care so much about your brand.

]]> Pete http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884950 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884950 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 13:19:23 -0800 Comment by typical judgement 15 and 17.
They were both victims and perps in their violence.
The one who draws blood is usually the judged the perp, and the one crying from said blood letting is the vic.
Always happens when the cops show up. they arrest the one who seems the most agressive, and the one who's beat up looking is left to jump around and go
'yeah she hates dogs and attacked me in the bathroom. she's crazy arrest her.'
No matter what in this situation it seems self defense is out of the question. And she threw her rights as soon as she threw that item at him.

]]> typical judgement http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884956 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884956 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 13:35:17 -0800 Comment by Ayden Actually, dogs do NOT lick themselves for long periods of time unless there's something wrong. (Cats can really get into it just for fun, but dogs seldom do.)

Make sure flea treatment is current. *Capstar* is a wonderful product. It kills anything living on your dog within 30 minutes. And Benedryl can ease itching - plus make doggie sleepy. Dosage is 4 25 mg tabs for a 60 pound dog.

Sorry you had to leave your bedroom - but take care of the doggie!

]]> Ayden http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884970 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884970 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 14:07:11 -0800 Comment by M my poodle licked incessantly. my boyfriend called it "eating his spaghetti".....

]]> M http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884972 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884972 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 14:12:25 -0800 Comment by Sam Bros before hos!

]]> Sam http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884983 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c884983 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 14:58:25 -0800 Comment by mj Ayden, are you sure about 4, 25 mg of benedrly for a 60 lb dog? That seems like it might do more than knock your dog out?


]]> mj http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c885002 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c885002 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 16:17:27 -0800 Comment by Peter @21, you can have the name. I thought it was fairly uncommon these days and it is my actual name, but the Hell with it; Enjoy! Not like my posts add anything to the conversation. Last post!

]]> Peter http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c885005 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c885005 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 16:43:35 -0800 Comment by TerrysOneEyedPoodle Get me out of here. Please!

]]> TerrysOneEyedPoodle http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c885032 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c885032 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 18:12:26 -0800 Comment by Catman That poodle needs its glands squeezed. That's why it's licking.

]]> Catman http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c885048 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c885048 Hetero Sat, 29 Dec 2007 19:56:35 -0800 Comment by separation anxiety My pup keeps crying when I'm in the shower. He hates to be by himself. I finally let him in the bathroom just so I could shower in peace.

The gf sounds like an uptight bitch.

]]> separation anxiety http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c885494 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c885494 Hetero Mon, 31 Dec 2007 12:56:57 -0800 Comment by JunieGirl So he's got a naked woman in his bathroom ready to shower with him, and he chooses the dog over her? "Maybe the next gf would appreciate the dog"? WTF? Does the dog give massages? Dan's advice to her is right on: DTMFA. C'mon people!

I mean, I love my dog. My mom said that if reincarnation was true, she'd want to come back as my dog, just to be so spoiled. But your partner should take precedence.

Obviously it doesn't negate her guilt in getting physical. What her naked ass should have done was get dressed and walk out the door. But who knows? Maybe the dog gives great head, so he doesn't mind losing her.

]]> JunieGirl http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c885576 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/12/modesty_is_a_guard_to_virtue#c885576 Hetero Mon, 31 Dec 2007 16:02:41 -0800