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Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Merry Christmas From the Huckabees

posted by on December 12 at 9:30 AM

The more folks dig into Mike Huckabee’s tenure as governor of Arkansas, the worse this “Christian Leader” looks. Take this family photo taken back when Mike Huckabee was still digging his grave—and his kids’ graves—with a knife and a fork.


Via Wonkette—and folks that felt my comments about weight were literally worse than anything Hitler ever said might want to stay the hell out of the comments thread on the Wonkette post. Just sayin’.

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Not sure what the fat thing has to do with this. Does this validate the very-much-not-fat Bush daughters then? What the hell is the point? Wonkette is wack.

That said, the Huckabees need to work on their Kingston Trio/Beach Boys shirts. Too many stripes.

Posted by matthew fisher wilder | December 12, 2007 9:48 AM

Yikes. Especially considering that vertical stripes are thinning!

Posted by DOUG. | December 12, 2007 9:49 AM

That kid in the middle is one fat fucker...

Also, what is with families wearing matching shirts? That is so odd to me...

Posted by Mike in MO | December 12, 2007 9:52 AM

Hey, John Candy is alive! And he's related to Mike Huckabee!

Posted by Providence | December 12, 2007 9:54 AM

I don't even know where to start. I was thinking along the lines of a Smuckers joke, and with a name like Huckabee.... but then I'm just stumped. I'm stuck on the stripes, the chins (all nine of them), the park bench and the strength of the wood... it's shocking.

I think I'll leave it at that. So many topics. head. feels. fat.

Posted by Homo Will | December 12, 2007 9:59 AM

Dan has found the key to skinny. Every time you fat offended people write in Dan loses five pounds.
Oh... I do not mean that you are fat if you are offended.
I'm going to try this. I need to lose ten pounds.

Posted by mj | December 12, 2007 10:00 AM

Dan, if you, Terry and DJ ever send out holiday cards, I vote for matching shirts as well. And you even have a dog to pose with!

Posted by Phred Meijer | December 12, 2007 10:03 AM

I'm so happy you posted this, Dan. So happy.

That middle guy looks sort of like Quasimodo, right? Or that guy from Goonies. He's sort of scary.

I wonder if they did this on their own or if they had assistance. I mean, who advised them to do this?

Posted by Michigan Matt | December 12, 2007 10:11 AM

Where's the postcard in which he touts his work to get parole for rapists/murderers?

Posted by Gitai | December 12, 2007 10:11 AM

Yes, but what of the fact that the women in the family are supermodels compared to the men? Are the men not doing their part to keep that hott southern baptist action alive?

Posted by chi type | December 12, 2007 10:12 AM

Yes, but what of the fact that the women in the family are supermodels compared to the men? Are the men not doing their part to keep that hott southern baptist action alive?

Posted by chi type | December 12, 2007 10:12 AM


Agreed, but only if the matching shirts have elbow patches.

Posted by Mary in DC | December 12, 2007 10:14 AM

Wait, never mind. I just answered my own question. The wife is supposed to accept her husband's whaleness with humility and servitude or whatever the SBC said.

Posted by chi type | December 12, 2007 10:15 AM

I can Haz many, many cheezburgers?

Posted by Jimmy Legs | December 12, 2007 10:19 AM

Holy fuck. Look at all of that pork!

Posted by Mr. Poe | December 12, 2007 10:21 AM

Also, lefties making fat jokes in lieu of Bill Clinton's presidency is one of the most hypocritical actions possible at this point, in a stooping-to-Clinton-haters-making-fat-jokes kinda way.

I knew Wonkette had gone downhill, but wow, what a true piece of shit that site has become.

Posted by matthew fisher wilder | December 12, 2007 10:21 AM

well at least whatever self-esteem issues are going on there aren't going to be magnified a zillion-fold by having Daddy as POTUS. Oh, wait.

I've got $10 saying that one or both of the boys are superfat because they are hiding from their gayness through food.

Posted by el ganador | December 12, 2007 10:22 AM

The gals look good. I suppose keeping their girlish figures is part of the required submission to the husband.

Posted by sam | December 12, 2007 10:27 AM

Is that the governor's mansion? The architecture looks more like that of a public mental health facility (lack of any detail around the windows, relatively short second story, thin unadorned cornice, and really cheap mixed bricks.
The shirts seem to be sown from circus tent fabric, which given the sizes was probably a wise choice. I think they might have opted for a few more buttons though, which might have controlled the belly-roll flare a bit better.

Posted by kinaidos | December 12, 2007 10:29 AM

Really, do go read the Wonkette comment thread. It turns out that at least one of those fat-ass sons has at least one of the signs of becoming a serial killer (animal torture).

I had no idea, but damn, between that and the Dumond business, we will all be breaking out the popcorn if he becomes the nominee, because it will be so entertaining watching the shit fly.

Damn, those boys are fat.

Posted by Tlazolteotl | December 12, 2007 10:32 AM

Animal torture? What did they do? Try to eat it alive?

Posted by fucking fatasses | December 12, 2007 10:36 AM

i love this pic sooo much!

i got john edwards' xmas card in my email today. Now that's one handsome family! Everyone's dressed up in holiday casual... except John, who looks like he's taking a break from tuning up the F150. Idiotic!

Posted by sara | December 12, 2007 10:38 AM

@ #21, Just look at the picture, Mrs. Huckabee is strangling that poor dog.

Posted by monkey | December 12, 2007 10:43 AM

I know that fags are generally pretty catty, but get off the "Fat people are ugly" wrap. It's boring and cruel.

Posted by ecce homo | December 12, 2007 10:51 AM

Are the outfits an attempt to reinforce gender norms among the children? "Remember, even though you might have tits like Mommy, you're still a boy so you dress like Daddy."

Posted by Mason | December 12, 2007 10:55 AM

My objection is to the clothes. Matching outfits? Ugh. I guess I'm old fashioned, but I prefer that people wear nice clothes for their posed family pictures. Is that so hard...for a governor's family?

Posted by keshmeshi | December 12, 2007 10:59 AM

@24 I agree Ecce but it's not going to happen and with every neg comment it will probably provoke five more fat topics on slog.
It's a family pic that is not even that bad. They look quite squishy and cuddly if you ask me but I'm a nice nerd.
I have to get back to work and break this slog habit.

Posted by mj | December 12, 2007 11:05 AM

Edward C. Mun, Department of Surgery, Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, Harvard Medical School, Boston, Massachusetts

"The notion that obesity is the result of a lack of willpower on the part of affected individuals is simplistic, unscientific, and counterproductive in combating this disease."

Posted by Fire F. Ly | December 12, 2007 11:11 AM


Get off your meth-using bug-chasing going-to-bars-means-you're-a-bad-father wrap. It's boring and retarded.

Posted by Mr. Poe | December 12, 2007 11:17 AM

(Miller County, Arkansas) Two boy scout counselors, 17 year old Clayton Frady and 18 year old David Huckabee, the son of Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, have admitted to catching a stray dog during their summer session at Camp Pioneer in Hatfield, AR, and hanging the dog by his neck, slitting his throat and stoning him to death.

Camp officials, who did not report the crime to law enforcement officials, have admitted that the act did occur and have fired the boys from their positions. However, no charges have been filed against the young men.

Posted by Irena | December 12, 2007 11:20 AM

Are those obese children of Mike's trying to crush that bench into smithereens with their big saggy guts? Hoping the whitehouse has re-inforced flooring!

Posted by Madge-YoursoakingINIT! | December 12, 2007 11:25 AM

Got a link, Irena?

Posted by Dan Savage | December 12, 2007 11:27 AM

The Huckabee kids aren't fat. Tyra Banks is fat!

Posted by Chi Chi | December 12, 2007 11:37 AM


Can't find a link for Irena's story, though. At least not one from a reliable source.

Posted by Mr. Poe | December 12, 2007 11:38 AM

According to Matt Drudge (not that I like him or anything), the DNC is intentionally taking it easy on Huckabee because they think he'll be easier to take down in a general election. This might be true (and is perhaps why The NY Times and others are currently professing nothing but love for Huckabee), but it still makes me pretty freakin' nervous (like what if they miscalculate and Huckabee wins?), kind of like we homos are being used as sharkbait by the DNC (not that that's really any surprise).

Posted by thegayrecluse | December 12, 2007 11:40 AM

The matching outfits thing and the women family members keeping themselves up while the men bloat and bloat is very very Heartland. It's quite easy to end up in a holiday photo like this if all your friends and neighbors take one just like it.

Posted by JW | December 12, 2007 11:44 AM

Is the daughter bulimic or something? How is she not as rotund as the others?

Posted by Gomez | December 12, 2007 12:01 PM

@30 Oh.. So I guess they are not so cuddly after all.

Then it's open fire on those fatties as far as I'm concerned!
That is scary and beyond cruel.

Posted by mj | December 12, 2007 12:02 PM

It's on the letters thread and also here, but that's it.

(Ooh, nice one, Poe)

Posted by Irena | December 12, 2007 12:04 PM

Ecce knows from boring and cruel.....

Posted by catalina vel-duray | December 12, 2007 12:07 PM

Hey Dan, here's a link to a reputable news source that mentions the dog-killing incident at the end:

Posted by Irena | December 12, 2007 12:22 PM

Are those pirate shirts? Look how blousey the sleeves on Huck's are. Hott.

Posted by Fnarf | December 12, 2007 12:31 PM

I thought stripes were supposed to be slimming! Oh Snap!

Posted by Madge-YoursoakingINIT! | December 12, 2007 12:55 PM

they should've hired a gay to clue them into the notion of steering clear of vertical stripes. oh that's right, gays are aberrant sinners...

Posted by kim | December 12, 2007 1:06 PM

Is it just me, or does it look like Ms. Huckabee is strangling that poor dog?

Posted by NapoleonXIV | December 12, 2007 2:00 PM

This totally cheered me up today. Not that I was sad, but wow, this is great. The post. The photos. The comments. All together fine work people. (Sorry, not you ecce homo. I really didn't understand your comment.)

Posted by superyeadon | December 12, 2007 2:14 PM

"the one one the left looks like he's propping himself up while having a heart attack"

(best comment at Wonkette, hahah)

Posted by Lake | December 12, 2007 2:37 PM

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