1 Heat oil. 2 Fry whatever you are cooking. 3 Serve.

Southern cook is awesome.

That should be cooking. Because I can cook, but I cant spell.

Don't forget the Mayo!

Basically, toss whatever you're trying to cook into a cast-iron skillet at full heat.

Pull it out when it's blackened.

Extinguish and serve.

Isn't ECB some sort of self-styled repository of southern cooking knowledge? I seem to recall a number of her slog posts on the topic...

@1 It should be batter dipped too.

@5 - Only if Fritos are somehow involved.

So basically, the short answer is: "No. None of us know how to cook Southern."

What's the Christmas Miracle? Feed Jonathan Golob Chicken-Fried Embryonic Stem Cells?

Lard. Lots of lard. Or save your bacon fat in a coffee can and bring it along with you. You can't go wrong with bacon fat.

For goodness's sake, not all Southern cooking involve mayo, lard, or deep-fat fryers. Or grits I may add before someone suggested it.

Yes, yes that tends to be the most popularized image, but if you want something that is Southern and something that people will actually eat, step away from the "Let's fry everything, duuurr." suggestions.

One word: Crockpot.

southern green beans
a lot of fresh green beans, trimmed
some water
some pork (ham hock or bacon)
some onions
some water
salt and pepper to taste

put it all in a big pot

cook until tender
even better the next day

But what about biscuits and gravy, or hush puppies and molasses, or any number of casseroles? For that matter, biscuits by themselves, or with honey... Mmmmmm....

I'm glad it's almost Christmas... I get to cook some of this. :D

Make grits, but use only Anson Mills grits and use the grits recipe in the Lee Brothers' new cookbook. They're a revelation. Half the meals I make are from my southern cookbooks. But I can't help b/c I live in Michigan.

@ 10, I haven't lived in the South but I have visited various locations over the years. My favorite - Birmingham, AL, city of sit-down hot dog restaurants and a place called "Steak Around," a strictly carry-out joint whose motto was "Have you had your red meat today?" And that was in 1993 when everyone was told to avoid red meat. I don't think it was deep fried but I wouldn't be surprised if that was an option.

Mama always had a lit cigarette in her mouth when she made Christmas supper.

I'm from Charleston, SC. Grits are a staple. We can use them in breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Seriously, throw some pan fried catfish on it, or chicken-fried steak. Hell, shrimps cooked and simmered in a gravy go well on grits. basically, it's the same as using rice when you're too lazy or cheap to go out and make rice.

I can cook southern. I have actual Southern Louisiana credentials.

Inquire within...

I shot off an e-mail. I cook chicken hearts and turkey necks on a regular basis. I love them.

But how are you with stem cells?

I once ate at a Popeyes. And am vaguely aware that a food chain named Piggly-Wiggly exists.

I've always been good at Splinter Cell...same diff.

Check out Alton Brown's recipes on foodnetwork.com. He does all sorts of food, including Southern, and he is a Southern boy. Someone gave me his DVD collection (TV shows), and I just recently watched his show on grits/polenta (basically the same stuff) and there were some tasty looking things. I want to try the cornmeal pinapple upsidedown cake as soon as I aquire a cast-iron fry pan.

Southern people can cook? You must be from a different part of the south than where I lived.

I thought grits were hominy, and polenta was cornmeal mush. Am I correct?