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Thursday, December 27, 2007

Epileptic Fits? How DID You Know?!

posted by on December 27 at 6:54 AM

Christmas: It’s a shotgun wrapped in a jaunty bow, ready to blast you in the face; a coiled cobra lurking at the bottom of a gift bag.

Indeed, there are deadly dangers lurking in every Yuletide nook and cranny—-red-nosed rummies driving through the snow, toxic and Chinese-y toys waiting to leaden little blood streams (and apparently ravenous tigers ready to lunch upon them at the slightest provocation), hot buttered in-laws expressing their political, ahem, “opinions” (if I’m forced to endure one more drunken tirade on Ron fucking Paul or whomever, I’m climbing the water tower, I promise you).

But none of these holiday horrors can hold an Xmess candle to the evil that is “High School the Musical”, specifically the so-called “Sing It!” karaoke edition game for Playstation2. I have two young nieces, so I know.


And the dangers of HSM are not merely limited to the obvious peril inherent in arrogant WASP-ish mall-rats with devastating eyebrows singing and dancing and being douche-baggy in that singular Disney way. There are hidden perils, far more insidious than you might imagine, but you have to look closely to find them. And if you do look closely, what you will find is this, in really small print, in a corner on the back of the box…

WARNING! If you have a history of epilepsy or seizures, consult a doctor before use. Certain patterns may trigger seizures with no prior history.

Epileptic seizures? Just what I wanted!

Oh, Santa. How DO you avoid massive lawsuits?

RSS icon Comments


Eh. Kids with epilepsy know not to play video games or watch anime. This warning comes with every game.

Posted by Greg | December 27, 2007 7:12 AM

Also, for Christ's sake, close your bold tag. You've made the entire Slog page "emboldened."

Posted by Greg | December 27, 2007 7:13 AM

Killer Japanese Seizure Robots was my favorite as a child!

Posted by NapoleonXIV | December 27, 2007 7:37 AM

Don't all video games come with this warning?

Posted by JD | December 27, 2007 7:50 AM

Eeeeewwwwwwww! Dirty PS2 trash.



Posted by Mr. Poe | December 27, 2007 8:32 AM

I'm, like, totally confused. Since the "patterns may trigger seizures with NO [emphasis added] prior history," why doesn't the warning advise all users to consult a doctor before using the product?

I wonder if any local doctors specialize in treating people who are desperately seeking to groove on singing along with High School the Musical karaoke.

Posted by Creek | December 27, 2007 9:01 AM

I inflicted the same horror on my sis-in-law by buying this for her 13 year old daughter. MUAH HA HA!
It's been a war between my wife and her sister for over 10 years, each buying the other's kids a really obnoxious toy. My daughter got a painting set from her this year, but it all started when my wife got her then 3 year old niece a xylophone.

Posted by Mike of Renton | December 27, 2007 9:01 AM

boy, someone call Rick Romero to the scene

Posted by bobcat | December 27, 2007 9:42 AM

Internet notoriety

Romero became a FARK cliché in October 2005 after his article effusing about the phenomenon of blogging was posted to KABC's site, several years after blogs became widely popular.[2][3] Romero's name is usually attached to an article where he reports the obvious.

Posted by bobcat | December 27, 2007 10:01 AM

My little sister got Guitar Hero(es?) III for Christmas, so we spent significant time busting out the fake power chords. No seizures were had.

Posted by Katelyn | December 27, 2007 2:02 PM

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