Environmentalists are tree-scaling shrill seekers; the drug reform movement is run by a bunch of Jewish men. Thus far, the international drug policy reform conference in New Orleans has dispelled neither myth.

Ethan Nadelmann, Executive Director of the Drug Policy Alliance, kicked off the opening reception last night by announcing it was the second day of Hannukah, and like the eight days of the miracle, this conference was our four-day miracle of the struggle against oppression—an awkward analogy for everyone. This morning Jewish turned to Jewisher as we listened to opening plenary remarks from former head of the ACLU, Ira Glasser, and munched on standard-issue bagels. I fully expected a luncheon address from Woody Allen.

But instead we got an earful from the Executive Director of the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime, Antonio Maria Costa—the drug czar of the world.

Once folks deciphered his Italian accent, he earned a few boos from the crowd—like when he compared the unruly black market for drugs with human trafficking. “It is hard to stop human trafficking, a multi-billion dollar business next to drugs,” he said. “So would you legalize human trafficking?” Um, where to even begin responding to that…

He later won over the ballroom of academics and shrill radicals, however, partly by being an absolutely adorable little man in huge glasses, and partly by his conclusion:

Join me as an extremist of the center. If you want to break the vicious cycle, then not only fight disease associated with drug use. Be more radical…. Reach out. Our people need more treatment. Promote alternatives to prison for drug addicts and treat all forms of addiction.

As if the US Drug Czar had cued a disruption, a fire alarm drowned out Mr. Costa and strobes began flashing like the paparazzi. After an uncomfortable pause, a loudspeaker piped in with the voice of God: “This is not an emergency. Please resume your activities.”

Hellelujah, err, Halleluyah.