Would you be willing to take my girlfriend to her sorority dance for me. Its not that I dont want to but, you know, i got, stuff...work and shit.
I would love to have my glands expressed.
I forgot how to wipe my ass.
I'm back in town for winter break from grad school. I forgot to bring my camera and we are having a big get together to get smashed and watch awful top model and project runway tonight. You should come and take photographic evidence for me for my livejournal.
My business partners and I are in need of some interior design assistance. How are you with envisioning room accessories?
The Seattle LGBT Center is collapsing due to lack of funds and gross mismanagement on the part of the former ED and the Board; if you could help us raise $250k in the next couple weeks, that would be swell...
or be Dina Martina's personal assistant for the day; that ought to be entertaining...
But you still don't have time to bring me a darn cake, do you?
Dear Public Intern:
We could still use assistance for that birthday party.
You know, the one with the 20 four-year-olds?
I vote for Dina Martina's assistant... or maybe Sylvia O'Stayformore... What says the holidays in Seattle more than a radtastic retro-styled drag queen... Seriously people.
I'm coming home for the holidays, Public Intern, and I don't want to get out of bed on Xmas morning (I'll be hungover). Can you come to my house and open presents with my family?
You can open my gifts and relay thank yous (via phone) while I lounge upstairs. You might also have to bring me bloody marys and hug my mom.
You look a little like Ryan from The Office.
For your Live Journal?
are you straight?
I need help finding a new roomate. Want to help me interview people?
Why do you always looked surprised?
And what's with your china? You should get that fixed while you are still on your parent's insurance.
I need some yard work done, raking up leaves that the City blew from the City Park onto nearby private property using global-warming-causing Gas Leaf Blowers.
Could you bag some of them and put them in a compost bin on the front steps of City Hall with a note to Mayor Green asking him to stop polluting with those noisy gasoline-powered leaf blowers that undo all the pro-green policies his city has?
Can you clone back bones for the Democratic party and travel to DC and force the Speaker to start impeachment hearings? Also, you will need to work the Senate over to get the 2/3 majority we need to get the conviction for both Bush and Cheney.
#16 You're being a dick.
O000 00! You're here after break; does this mean your internship got extended?
(not knowing if you are at a semester or quarter school.)
Ride the SLUT continuously until you either actually ride a slut or get ridden by a slut. I don't even care what your sexuality is.
Actually, they do hand out lots of free prizes for riding the SLUT. You should think about gathering them all, at the expense of the Stranger, of course.
And wear a I Rode The SLUT t-shirt.
You are so cute can I assign you to come over for drinks?!
Can he babysit for us New Year's Eve? He can check out all our porn while the baby's sleeping... we have good porn.
He should help Charles liveblog War and Peach for seven hours--you know, so Charles can eat, take bathroom breaks, etc....
War and *Peace*.
War and Peach is much shorter than seven hours, and hardly worth the live-blogging effort.
i need a barista/counterperson on friday the 21st.
can you make a latte?
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