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Thursday, November 1, 2007

The Panhandler

posted by on November 1 at 12:55 PM

200px-Panhandler7_360.jpg

Last night. It was dusk downtown and I was leaving a restaurant and saw a hobo (ratty blanket around his shoulders, paper cup full of coins in his hand) walking towards me. He was vigorous in aspect and stride, moving aggressively through the city. I felt the internal wince, the tiny debate that every humane person has when asked for money by a stranger.

I could already hear his second-long pitch: Spare some change? Or Got a quarter for bus fare? Or, my favorite, Can I ask you a question?

The vigorous panhandler held out his paper cup full of coins, jangled it in my face, and said: “Blah blah blah! Blahblah! Blah blah blah blah blah!”

It was the cleverest thing I heard all day.

RSS icon Comments

1

Did you give him money? At least for the creativity of it all?

Posted by Just Me | November 1, 2007 12:59 PM
2

Open Poll: (participation is voluntary)

Does it urge you to give the homeless money when they say it's for alcohol? If not, does it sway you from giving them money if worded another way because you *think* it's for drugs or alcohol?

As for me, I always just offer to buy them food...what's the worst is that it's almost *ALWAYS* turned down.

Posted by cunei4m | November 1, 2007 1:01 PM
3

If you take a quarter out of their cup, they'll stand there for a good four minutes trying to figure out what just happened, while you walk away.

Posted by Mr. Poe | November 1, 2007 1:02 PM
4

@2: I did the same thing when I was living in D.C., and every time, they took me up on it. I wonder if there's some difference between the cities, or if we each just hit the outliers on the statistical curve.

Posted by Matt | November 1, 2007 1:04 PM
5

Most homeless in Seattle have facilities that will give them food. They want change for non-food things, which is why they will often turn down actual food (unless you catch them at the right time and they're hungry.)

Posted by matthew fisher wilder | November 1, 2007 1:16 PM
6

Answer! Tell me you gave him a $5 for his wisdom.

Posted by Matt Fuckin' Hickey | November 1, 2007 1:17 PM
7

From seeing the homeless community first hand, here is some helpfull input.

First, if they turn down you buying food or something they need (sometimes offer to buy them coffee or some necessity we all take for advantage) they are most like one or more of the following:

1. Junky or drunk looking for a fix.

2. Most likely not even homeless but begging as a job instead of finding a legitimate way in getting money.

3. Trying to get a bus ticket out of town, which is stupid since Seattle has a LOT of resources available.

4. Someone who is completely insane force out onto the streets by our 'glorious' politicians closing down the mental hospitals and cutting funding for mental programs.

The best thing, if you want to help out the truly homeless who are mostly at jobs during the daytime anyway, give money or donations to places like Compass Center. The perfect solution is to work toward dropping housing prices to a level that the working class can afford. Most of the homeless in the shelters at night are just that, hard workers who just can't afford housing or disabled (and their checks barely cover food). They aren't out begging for change because they find the resources and use them instead or are too busy working to stand on the street corner.

Only Acception: Real Change dealers, most of them are disabled but cannot get disability for one reason or another.

Posted by KittenComputerGoddess | November 1, 2007 1:17 PM
8

I'm walking down 15th during the last full moon the other night and there was a dude kneeling in the parking lot of QFC, hands clasped together, praying to the sky thusly:

"God God GodGod God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God... Okay"

Then he got up and walked off.
The same guy maybe?

It was the best performance art I've ever seen in Seattle.

Posted by The Bailiff | November 1, 2007 1:18 PM
9

i hate the power that people who give out some change feel they have. that smug feeling they get and that need to figure out if their measely quarter or 50 cents is going to be put to good use. that need to laugh or preach to the hobos on the street. either give em change or move on. its a city, there are people on the street, theyre not going away, and not all of em have to be saints to qualify for your quarter and too bad they disturb your stroll. so what if theyre gonna use it to drink. shit, i would drink too if i had to humiliate myself for some holier than thou person. maybe i dont want a dick's burger, maybe im not hungry and i need some weed. its no secret there are allt types of homeless people, some are drunks, addicts, hardworkers, lazy, mentally ill, abused kids, some are hustlers and some are just plain depressed with life, and youre not going to figure them out in the two seconds it takes you to part with yoru loose change. any minute now we will get a post about how much money can be made begging for change.

Posted by SeMe | November 1, 2007 1:19 PM
10

@9

Amen

Posted by ahava | November 1, 2007 1:22 PM
11

One of the women at a local downtown shelter earned $500 in one day. That is fact, NOT opinion. Also, we all know she is a scammer, not really disabled, wearing the neckbrace for pitty.

Posted by KittenComputerGoddess | November 1, 2007 1:23 PM
12

All it makes me want to do is pull the mace out and give them a good long spray right in the kisser. I can't afford to park in the building downtown where I work so it's Metro for me. Do I want some smelly, drunk, homeless dude sitting next to me (and then chatting me up) in the free ride area? No. I'd just like to turn to him very calmly and mace him in the face. No words, no getting crazy, just a good long spray of mace right in their kissers. You have to be dominant, but not aggressive.

Posted by Nicole | November 1, 2007 1:31 PM
13

is a fact huh? 500 bucks? man, what corner of pioneer square was she hitting? i doubt it, but if in fact it was a scam artist, i pointed out that scam artists exist in among the homeless just like they do among the non homeless. just like people who make up stories about homeless who drive cadillacs.

the idea that this is common is just plain stupid. if you make 500 bucks a day you would go rent a room in a hotel in aurora instead of staying in a smelly ass shelter.

ive worked with the population for years and not just "observed" it. and addiction is there just like mental illness, all im saying is if you dont wanna give change dont give it.

why preach?

Posted by SeMe | November 1, 2007 1:32 PM
14

If you are begging and homeless you have bigger fucking issues than needing some weed or booze. I WAS homeless for 5 months in Seattle and if you are willing not to drink or get stoned there are resources to use to get a job and get a place to live beyond the shelters.

Sorry, I do not give to panhandlers (some of them will not even ask me since I know their stories). And that is advise coming from someone who was homeless. Until you HAVE been homeless you have no right to tell people what to do with their money.

Posted by Whatever | November 1, 2007 1:35 PM
15

Nicole, read my previous post, before 11. You seem to have missed the simple hard and often ignored fact. That smelly guy sitting next to you is most likely not homeless.

Another fact that I failed to include:

MOST junkies and drunks have housing or live in programs. MOST people in condos are junkies but they clean up real nice when you pay them a fortune to sit behind a desk and say 'I'll get right on it,' all day. You really have no idea what is going on in the streets of Seattle, all you do is hide in your cubby hole and gripe, trying to push the blame onto another group because they don't have the funds or time to fight you on it, untill now.

Posted by KittenComputerGoddess | November 1, 2007 1:35 PM
16

@4...statistical curve is my bet...the majority of this action was done in Austin, Texas, though...so could be a difference in cities.

@5, 7, 9, etc...I understand that they will often turn down food because they want money for other things. The point I'm trying to make is that there are numerous times when they ask for money *SPECIFICALLY* for food and I offer to buy food which they turn down...

Posted by cunei4m | November 1, 2007 1:36 PM
17

SeMe MUST work for Scnaglalines or one of the other tied groups.

Posted by KittenComputerGoddess | November 1, 2007 1:38 PM
18

Typo: Scamgalines.

Posted by KittenComputerGoddess | November 1, 2007 1:40 PM
19

I love that movie "SINGLES" about Seattle! It has Matt Dillon in it. I want to move to Seattle because that movie is so wicked cool. Is it still like that?!

Posted by Heather in Georgia | November 1, 2007 1:45 PM
20

Never was. Do you also think it's like 'Fraiser' protrays it? It's not either, the show didn't even bother to use the right busses on the episodes I have watched.

Posted by KittenComputerGoddess | November 1, 2007 1:48 PM
21

@15 I understand and agree with you. Sometimes in Seattle it just seems the atmosphere is just too controlled by all of this PC baloney. Like people are just petrified to really behave like they would want to for fear of having people observe them and and possibly thinking "Oh poo poo, look at how that person just treated that poor defenseless homeless person!" So ther person is going to suffer just to look so PC and smug. Well, screw that! I'm not some walking ATM machine or a crisis line/chat line for some drunk while on the bus. From experience it's not like you can just ignore these people or tell them to go away. That's why I wish that it would be "ok" to just, you know, give them a good long spray in the face with some pepper spray or something and then say very forcefully DOWN.

Posted by Nicole | November 1, 2007 1:49 PM
22

Seattle is more like Deliverance with buildings.

Posted by SeMe | November 1, 2007 1:50 PM
23

@9,
Why am I smug? Because it's my money. That gives me the right to feel pretty much however I want when I part with it. It's not like I'm asking him or her to dance for it; I am simply trying to judge if this person can/will find a better use for the money than I can.

Posted by Nose Knows | November 1, 2007 1:51 PM
24

@22 is there massive amounts of anal rape that I am not aware of?

Posted by mutter | November 1, 2007 1:52 PM
25

Sad thing: both sides of the homeless issue piss me off, why? Because one side says they want to help the homeless but create programs suitable for junkies and drunks. The other side thinks that the smelly nasty rude junkies and drunks ARE the homeless. Most homeless are workers or on disability, you don't see them on the streets. WE use shelters when not working, staying clean and out of the cold. Yes, why not ask a REAL homeless person what is going on, so few actually do.

All the current programs with only ONE acceptions cater to the junkies and drunks. Scamgalines (Angelines for those not familiar, the YWCA shelter) contains staff members dealing drugs to their clients regularly. Then when one of their deals goes bad they kick them out for everyone else to deal with. The coordinator their is clueless, and the few good staff always quit and go to another program. All those linked through the AHA are the same. They don't care about the hard workers. They discriminate against GLBT for housing and even services all the time, and ignore the hard workers. But they will point a junky to a free program where they can straighten out their criminal record to avoid arrest so they can return and buy more drugs from the staff.

Posted by KittenComputerGoddess | November 1, 2007 1:57 PM
26

@23 I must say that it would be kind of amusing to ask the Seattle Police Are Communist guy to dance for money. You could totally write a musical about him. He's so Haitian it's spooky.

Posted by Nicole | November 1, 2007 2:00 PM
27

Everyone has a hustle, that's all it is. Reflecting on the morality on the intention of the money isn't necessary. It's just a hustle. Nobody is amoral for asking, nobody is amoral for not handing it out.

Posted by Dougsf | November 1, 2007 2:01 PM
28

I was recently buying a soda at the convenience store around the corner from my office (I work in Pioneer Square). In line in front of me was a homeless man counting out change for a six-pack of Coors (!?) that was priced at $3.99. He counted out exactly $3.99 and looked up at the clerk, very proud of himself. She says, "It's actually $4.58. Tax."

His spirits dropped. He looks at me, in line behind him, and he says, "Hey, man, got fifty-eight cents I could borrow?"

And I know it sounds mean, but it just came out. I said, "You know, I would, but I'm sure you'd only use it for booze."

He didn't like that. I bought my things and left, feeling guilty for making light of the homeless man's problem, but also very proud of my quick-witted and humorous response.

The end.

Posted by Matt Fuckin' Hickey | November 1, 2007 2:05 PM
29

Again, most likely he is not homeless, but a bum. BIG difference.

Posted by KittenComputerGoddess | November 1, 2007 2:07 PM
30

well said doug. and youre in sf, home of the tenderloin!

oh and nicole, pedro is cuban. at least get your xenophobia right.

Posted by SeMe | November 1, 2007 2:08 PM
31

@30 Excuse me SeMe it's hardly xenophobia if I only remarked that he reminded me of a spooky Hatian. Xenophobia is when you explicity say one from another country is not welcome here. So a big fucking DUH to you. And if the downtown "lore" is to be believed then Pedro is nothing other than a great big crazy pothead, but hey, we're in Seattle so that's ok!

Posted by Nicole | November 1, 2007 2:17 PM
32

Nicole, don't bother, SeMe plays the supporter/enabler role too well. They will always try to make everyone who doesn't want to give handouts to the junkies and drunks that plague our streets (the bums, not the homeless).

Posted by KittenComputerGoddess | November 1, 2007 2:22 PM
33

A few years ago 2 men and a woman were lying in a pile on Broadway outside of Bonney Watson Funeral home. I was walking up Broadway when I saw them. They were ripe. It was a hot day and they were dressed for the winter. They were dirty and sweaty and ugly and really gross.They smelled Bad" Like I said "RIPE"

As I approached one of the men asked me: "Can you spare a dollar we are trying to get a marriage license today"
I kept walking, pondering the upcoming nuptials and as I continued to walk away he yelled out in his sexiest growl " that means I'm still single"

I turned around, walked back and gave them 2 dollars.

Posted by Bellah | November 1, 2007 2:22 PM
34

"Xenophobia is when you explicity say one from another country is not welcome here."

No. that is not the definition. Its actually this, "fear or hatred of strangers or foreigners or of anything foreign or strange"

Which by your comment, assuming a metally ill black man is a "Spooky" haitian qualifies.

So youre a xenophobe, there are worse things.

Posted by SeMe | November 1, 2007 2:22 PM
35

Hmmm ... funny, but my haitian friends while I was in Louisiana seemed to enjoy being 'spooky', they made a game of it and tried to out spook each other with tourists. Not sure, but I don't think finding a culture other than yours spooky is the same as fear. That's like when straight people say us who are GLBT are just wierd, not offensive, just means they don't know as much about us.

Posted by KittenComputerGoddess | November 1, 2007 2:28 PM
36

@3 YOU are EVIL and what you said was hysterical but you're still EVIL and you love it.

Very Funny!

Posted by mj | November 1, 2007 2:45 PM
37

Wow, Slog's been invaded by middle-schoolers today. So many opinions ("I'm right and you're not!"), so little knowledge.

Posted by elm | November 1, 2007 2:59 PM
38

My common reply when asked for change: "I don't give handouts to bums."

They don't like it.

Seriously, though, in the ten years I've lived here, the bums I first saw downtown when I got here are still out, about, and panhandling. The jerk under the pergola, that asshole with the cardboard box (and nicer clothes than me) at 6th and Pine, Legless McGee and his soda cup...

Posted by Jason Josephes | November 1, 2007 3:00 PM
39

Why do people in Seattle call the homeless "hobos", weren't those the guys with sticks and kerchiefs riding the rails in the 30's? The colorful 'hobos' that I've had the pleasure of encountering in Seattle have been insane and in need of hospitalization.

Second, it's amazing how the social guilt that you people are repressing is turning to anger and fancy stories about all the money these good-for-nuthins are scamming other people who do give money. Sometimes I give money and sometimes I don't. I feel uncomfortable when I don't, but it really is better to give the money to an organization that helps the homeless There is a very active crack trade 3rd ave and west. And "no", I don't take the money that I don't give and put it in the jar for the United Way.

I have not had much success giving food away in Seattle, and it was always easy in NYC. I feel that the level of mental illness in the 'hobos' here has played a part. I would feel a lot better if it's b/c they actually feed homeless people in Seattle.

Posted by left coast | November 1, 2007 3:00 PM
40

*bows ... bows ... bows* The funny thing, it is 100% true. I was in Louisiana and had a lot of friends from a lot of different walks of life. What Seattle is to the lifestyle communities, Louisiana ... well was, to the world cultures.

Posted by KittenComputerGoddess | November 1, 2007 3:02 PM
41

Actually, there are at least 5 feeding progams each day in Seattle, so yes, we are fed. Food is not the problem. The insanity you see is a result of our wonderfull city government cutting funding and closing the mental wards, so where to people who don't know how to live in homes go? With those who can't afford it. I help out with many of the insane, at least the ones who are truly insane, because I am on the edge myself. That means I am insane but I know the difference between my insanity and reality enough to function.

Posted by KittenComputerGoddess | November 1, 2007 3:06 PM
42

KittenComputerGoddess, you are hilarious.

please stop typing, break your keyboard into little pieces, then use the sharp plastic bits to stab yourself to death with.

thank you.

Posted by jzilla | November 1, 2007 3:12 PM
43

LOVE it.

Posted by Amelia | November 1, 2007 3:30 PM
44

Me to. Don't you love how us egotistical people just can't resist posting replies when told NOT to?
Fun huh? Of course you are not addressing the topic at hand now, we have strayed.

Posted by KittenComputerGoddess | November 1, 2007 3:35 PM
45

now THAT was the cleverest thing I've heard all day.

Posted by Mr. Pink | November 1, 2007 4:03 PM
46

Nicole~ I agree with you. Many of our cities ills could be solved with a good macing.

And the guy in front of pac place is named Pedro, he is Cuban, and I have never seen him take money from anyone in the last 6 years I've seen him.

Posted by wisepunk | November 1, 2007 4:34 PM
47

My brother got into transitional housing where it is easy to keep himself and his clothing clean, so he looks quite respectable now. But it kills me when we walk down the street in the city where he lives, and some bum tries to sell HIM a copy of the Street Sheet.

Posted by hobobro | November 1, 2007 4:41 PM
48

Oh, and when somebody panhandles me, I tell them, "Hey, I don't even give my homeless BROTHER money. Why would you think I'd give money to you, a complete stranger?"

Posted by hobobro | November 1, 2007 4:42 PM
49

This is the most well written bit of slog I've seen in a while. Loved it!

Posted by Need Money For Kung Fu Lessons | November 1, 2007 7:29 PM
50

Maybe it's because I live in NYC but I'm not sure where the moral judgements in giving or not giving your money out comes from.

If a bum on the street is asking for money I either give him/her money or not.

I most often do not and I don't have any twinge of regret. Guilt trips say more about you then they do about the person asking for the money. Somestimes I give money and that is what it is. No more, no less.

Posted by newyorkguy | November 2, 2007 8:04 AM

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