City “That Sinking Feeling”
posted by on November 20 at 9:37 AM
Sent to I, Anonymous, ruined my breakfast. Enjoy!
So I suppose you think you’re pretty cool, man. Must be pretty smug. No cops were called, no permanent 86s were given out, your wife knows nothing… but you better bet your unwiped ass you’re not in the clear. You played coy, pretending that you didn’t know what was going on as our security was holding you outside, away from the concert inside… but you knew why, and we knew you did it. You never denied what you did, until your wife came outside to get you, you sick bastard… then you denied everything up and down. Stand-up gentleman you are, buddy. You didn’t look like a sink pooper, but looks can be deceiving. You shit in my bar’s men’s room sink… and I had to clean it up. I’ve never formally met you, pal, but you have made an enemy. A fierce and dangerous enemy. You don’t know what I look like… but I know you, and you can rest assured you are being hunted at this very moment. You didn’t even use toilet paper, you sick fuck. You’ll get yours, sink pooper.
These are just getting better and better.
Dude I worked at a bar/restaurant and on halloween a few years ago people were urinating in the sink because there was a lack of stalls. it was gross!
DAMN they caught me!!! It was me, my bad.
I worked in a restaurant where one day I had to clean shit off the WALLS. In the ladies room. Big globs of it. That, and the almost everyday occurrence of the huge load sitting unflushed surrounded by dozens of candy wrappers. People are disgusting.
And that's where Frank got his biggest clue.
What does a sink pooper typically look like?
I used to barback at the Eagle. I'm not going to tell you what we had to deal with in the can.
Do I really share a species with people like this? Where do they come from? What quirk of genetics or prenatal development or toilet training produces a sink pooper? And what kind of woman marries him? Accidentally marrying a closeted toilet cruiser is one thing, but a sink pooper?
in order for your anus to properly reach sink level, wouldn't you need to be 7' tall?
i once worked in a restaurant and was confronted with vomit in a sink. what really made it special: the dentures sitting there in the middle of the puddle of puke.
One of the most oddly hilarious things I have ever seen was in 7th grade, in my junior high school boys room. It was a hard turd thrown with great force against the mirror, with toilet paper still attached. I laughed, then left without using the bathroom.
@9, you jump up and sit on the sink, with legs dangling. not that i personally know that, it just seems logical. btw, why no tp in this case--none handy. and bellevue, what's the bfd? urine is sterile--more sterile than anything else (spit) that goes into a sink. just rinse it down well to get rid of the smell. once again, i've never done that either--it's just not anywhere near as gross and unsanitary as poo.
you think its funny? spreading your cheeks and laying out a fudge dragon? you should be ashamed of yourself. Where is Mr. Poe when i need him
NM i am dumb, the hardly boys are already on the case
2 words-
Scat Queen!
the past tense is actually shat
Pissing in the sink is no big deal. I pissed in the ladies room sink at the old Timberline. No one drinks out of the thing, anyway.
I work in the library and it's not uncommon for people to smear their feces in the public bathroom stalls. It's a psychological disorder. Public service workers have all the fun. But going in the sink? I'd be scared someone would walk in and see what was happening... was he caught in the act?
Dan, we already know what you "deal with in the can".
Anyways. I stayed the night at this girl's place, woke up hungover and hurting, wanted to leave without seeing her, luckily she was in the shower, but I had to piss so bad and it was a long walk home. Pissed in her sink and left a note saying I'd call her later.
Fnarf, those were no ladies. That was a WOMEN'S room!
And let me add here, both as public service and in the hopes of raising the level of discourse, that Safeway bathrooms are always filthy.
i'm disappointed that they cut out the last line... "The devil will shit in your sink as you rot in a fiery hell." I was drunk when i wrote it, and i spent a lot of time on that one in particular...
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