Nepotism Seattle Will Win, and Barry Bonds indicted
posted by November 15 at 14:13 PMon
Seattle will win Sunday. I say this because the geniuses that run the Chicago Bears have decided Rex Grossman will start while Brian Griese lets his injured non-throwing shoulder owie heal. Grossman’s only problem as a starter is that he rattles easily, he cannot handle anything resembling an unpredictable blitz, and if it’s too noisy, he’s useless.
Seattle will rush unpredictably, rattle him, and the noise makes the over-under on fumbles on the exchange with center 3.5, with the over-under for false start penalties 7.5.
So. I surrender. The Chicago Tribune even ran a fawning story on Mike Holmgren’s genius, so I guess we’re doomed. And I just figured out that the seats I got, while about mid-field, are in the last row. The very last row. The one where the beer vendors are Sherpas with calves the size of watermelons.
But at least they will have gotten massively large the natural way, instead of the unnatural way, like newly-indicted Home Run King Barry Bonds. Lying to the Feds is a crime? Shit, who knew?