Because you *never* hear: "How dare you say that little boy will grow up to be straight?!"

Toddlers are always being admonished for doing anything outside of the het/normal gender roles, but never a peep is said about behavior reinforcing the "norm".

You never hear a parent say to a very little girl - for example, a 3 year old pretending to be a princess so her prince can come sweep her away - "But honey, you might want a princess someday".

More's the pity.

Having a foot fetishist for a son might make Anonymous a little uncomfortable and embarrassed, but at least it's not anything to really worry about. As long as the kid knows there's acceptable and unacceptable behavior in public, then I don't see how this could ever be a real problem.

yes, boyhood boners are a curse and just as confusing and horrifying to the kid as it is for the parents...and they hurt, too...

personally, I can recall being MUCH more interested in seeing dad, or any adult male naked, than in seeing any female naked, from a very young age...like age 5.

and to the three or four right wing American Talibanist who monitor this column, no, i wasn't molested and there wasn't any so called "bad" gay influences around to "turn" me gay. It was the 60's and small town Nebraska. Unless watching too much "Bewitched" can make you gay or listening to Petula Clark sing "Downtown", (which WAS my favorite song; that and the Tijuana Brass on the Casino Royale soundtrack).

But keep in mind, he's 5. It isn't exactly the adult version of sexual attraction and all that implies.

And yes, Anonymous' response to the situation was spot-on.

And yes, little boys get erections pretty much at random. They don't even know why.

And then, of course, when little boys become teenagers, I don't think they ever *lose* their erection. Except maybe when someone points and laughs at them.

When I said "they don't even know why", I was referring to kids not knowing why. Its not really a conscious thing for them.

You do not want to know. Your world is pretty and neat. If you think too much about it, your baby boy's penis will illuminate some dark places of the world you don't wish to see.

Don't ever wonder why the laundry is still. Don't ever wonder how that hole got in the blanket. Don't notice when he stares blissfully at you when you change your clothes.

You're up against forces no sensitive mom can harness or control.

Tell Dad to talk to him when the time is right. Until then, just pretend it isn't there.

I just love mine right back but always make clear that I'm married to his daddy (which infuriates the son).

At least he didn't want to marry your breasts.

The foot thing is unusual. Yes, her son is different, and will probably remain unusual. But a foot fetishist? Who can say? And more importantly, does that really matter to a mother?

Sometimes when I'm riding with gay friends I like to curse bad drivers with "Fucking cock sucker!", "God damned butt munch!", etc. Then I turn to my friends and say, "No offense, guys." It always gets a chuckle.

I'd say it's nothing to worry about. But why is it only little boys, I wonder?

I'd say it's nothing to worry about. But why is it only little boys, I wonder?

women like shoes...

Sometimes little kids who don't know anything about actual sex acquire random erotic associations, and grow out of it later. I think it happens more often than you might realize.

It was just a weird phase. I had almost totally forgotten about it until I read this just now. Come to think of it, I was into tying up the other kids too. I was kinkier at six than I am 35!

I wouldn't mind being a foot fetishist though. It's so quaint and harmless. I'd even out myself. Being a straight white American dude is so boring!

have him draw shoes & don't think about it.

He is also very interested in seeing me naked and when he bursts in to the bathroom or my room when I'm changing I simply tell him that he needs to go out and knock and wait to be invited in because I want privacy- not that gasp he shouldn't look at my nakedness- I don't want him to think there is anything wrong with bodies but that they belong to the people who's bodies they are and are private (unless otherwise invited but that's a nuance for when he's older).

As far as this little guy goes, he's probably going to be a foot fetishist - which, all things considered, is a pretty harmless thing to be. Mom should just relax; she handled it very well, in my opinion.

It's wordy, but super interesting. Just scroll through the first part and check out "Age 5." This behavior seems to fit perfectly with that description.

And it has been.

Research has shown that almost all of these (GID) boys grow up to be gay, and the fact is that the GID "diagnosis" is still being used to "pathologize" the experience of these "proto-gay" (google it) boys. It is sobering to think that every gay man was once a gay boy, and most likely to be having a different developmental experience of gender from an early age (Gender is the earliest self-recognized attribution in young children, and developmental assessment tools for 3-year-olds make use today of the question "are you a boy or a girl?" as a measure of cognitive reality orientation).

Psychiatry and Psychology have yet to officially acknowledge and normalize such developmental experiences and are usually at a loss to effectively counsel parents and other caregivers of young children who manifest what is still labeled by ignorant/intolerant and judgmental double-standards as GID. Official Developmental Theory has no way to account for such an alternative developmental path and so remains officially silent and in denial.

The dualistic "sissy-boy/tomboy narrative" has been commented on and progressive researchers have described the issue and related research in peer-reviewed journal articles, but it remains to be seen if this new knowledge will be reflected in the next revision of the DSM, or if the Psychiatric Profession will "bury it's head" in order to avoid controversy by maintaining the popular myth that children do not manifest sexuality during the so-called "latency age" (following a "healthy resolution" of the early-childhood Oedipus Complex which orders young boys to kill their fathers and have sex with their mothers). Traditionally sexist Freudian theory still holds powerful sway in many medical schools of psychiatry.

There is indeed psychological and emotional (and often physical and sexual) abuse of gay children by parents, communities, and professionals from a very early age, and these are the children who learn to internalize that bigotry in the form of self-hatred. These children are eventually over-represented in homeless youth populations and make up THE SINGLE HIGHEST RISK-GROUP for suicide. If such a child is fortunate enough to find one adult who will understand and accept and affirm his own unique experience of human subjectivity, it could very well save that child's life.

If you want to see how bad this can look, rent a French Movie titled "Ma Vie en Rose" (My Life in Pink), which depicts how confounded and ineffective the mental health profession can be in trying to "help" such a young child.
It is sad that such stuff still goes on every day.

For some good parental advice on teaching healthy sexuality to children of all ages, follow the link to noplacelikehome.org.

Child Psychologist in Washington.

If gay men and foot-fetishists each constitute about 5% of the adult male population, I give Dan about a 5% chance of being correct in each prediction. In other words, no better than chance.

PS - It would be great if this could lead to a larger discussion about which Slog women have cute feet and what colors they paint their toenails (if they do). :)

PS. My feet are actually hideous. I do paint my toenails however.