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Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Savage Love Letter of the Day

posted by on November 7 at 16:02 PM

I am a college freshman at a college not in my hometown. In high school I never truly rolled with the popular crowd. I was a more of a loner and a background character. During the college school year I have redefined people’s perceptions of me and have been very close gaining “cool” status in my dorm. Just recently, one of my new friends inquired if I have seen the new video on the web. I immediately, in a half joking way, asked if it was porno. He assured me with some giggles that it wasn’t porno. Immediately my new friend and a gang of my recently created friends insisted that they all go to my computer and watch it. I grew increasingly suspicious that I was not going to enjoy whatever it was that they were about to show me. When they got to my computer my friend logged on to a website which was obviuosly a porn site, all while assuring me it wasn’t porn and showed me a video of feces porn involving two girls with a cup literally eating shit and later throwing up on each other. The crowd which had followed me into my room found it hilarious while I just found it twisted and disgusting. I felt I had just been hazed to be accepted. I’m still disgusted and wondering what kind of friends I’m making. I’m not militantly against porn in general I’m just disturbed by this one. Am I making the right kinds of guy friends? Is it okay to loathe guys who watch these types of porn videos? Truly Troubled Young Lad

I haven’t seen the porn video in question, but I’ve heard all about it. If it’s any comfort, TTYL, a lot of scat porn is created with shit substitutes. Someone is given, oh, six or seven thousands enemas, until the water runs back out clean, followed by a chocolate pudding enema and only then do the cameras start rolling. Still, gross. And your friends? Well, they sound like typical college freshman to me—immature, terrified of women, and obsessed with poop.

RSS icon Comments


Dan, it's Check it out. It's pretty gross.

Posted by Mr. Poe | November 7, 2007 4:28 PM

"Well, they sound like typical college freshman to me—immature, terrified of women, and obsessed with poop."

Sad, but true.

Posted by Will in Seattle | November 7, 2007 4:34 PM

Yes, Dan, but what he forgot to say was that after consuming the feces, the girls then proceded to vomit (probably fake) feces into each other's mouths. Since it's kind of hard to fake bile, that pushes it much, much further into the gross and disgusting realm.

Posted by ChefSalad | November 7, 2007 4:36 PM

That letter is a weird combination of things he could have asked Dear Abbey, and thing the Abby and her readers should never, ever read.

Posted by Dougsf | November 7, 2007 4:40 PM

The correct response is to get up and walk away from the screen the second you see the poo coming, with a hearty "fuck you guys". Then go to the library and read up on guns and murder techniques.

Posted by Fnarf | November 7, 2007 5:10 PM

Sorry Fnarf, but reading up on guns and murder techniques isn't funny and isn't going to help the kid. The "fuck you guys," might be helpful. This was certainly and attempt to test the kids limits. Could he deal, was he down, etc. It is all an attempt to test and extend threshholds of tolerance. What can you accept?

A person should always have a trump card, a willingness to do one thing, it doesn't matter what, that someone else doesn't want to do. There are so many options that don't include violence (or the threat of violence) that can silence any crowd. Next time the kid is asked to watch a video he should be prepared to crap in his own hand and eat it. If he's not willing to do that, he's hanging with the wrong crowd.

Posted by Adam | November 7, 2007 5:28 PM

Murder isn't funny? Since when? Murder is the funniest thing there is.

Posted by Fnarf | November 7, 2007 5:32 PM

Ah, the things we do to ourselves in our attempts to be part of the "cool" gang.

At least when we're young, insecure, and stupid.

Posted by SDA in SEA | November 7, 2007 5:36 PM

I think the more important question is:

Dan, we know it's OK to drink piss. But isn't eating poo considered extremely dangerous?

Here's the link for those who dare:

Posted by disgusted in FL | November 7, 2007 5:45 PM

Man, I think could be used in Guantanamo to extract confessions. That site is just a crime against humanity.

Posted by tsm | November 7, 2007 5:47 PM

The reason he wasn't popular in high school is because he's too uptight. This is a problem for the Uptight Seattleite at the Weakly.

Posted by Samon | November 7, 2007 6:20 PM

I'm not remotely interested in poo eating or those who do it, but 2girls1cup is the Citizen Kane of scat films.

Posted by Mahtli69 | November 7, 2007 6:32 PM

Why doesn't the link open for me?

Posted by Sammy | November 7, 2007 6:39 PM

Ahhh, the memories. As programming for our hall during my first year of college my RA thought that it would be good to have a pizza and porno night. Alas, the porn I enjoyed was not what the majority would have liked, so I abstained. . .

Posted by Michigan Matt | November 7, 2007 6:59 PM

Oh, thank god Dan convinced me it's fake. I can now eat & maybe even have sex again.

Posted by DJSauvage | November 7, 2007 7:45 PM

A good portion of any decent friendship involves committing incredible transgressions against each other. Mostly so they can prove to themselves that you are a)tough enough to take it, and therefore worthy of being a friend, and b) love them enough to not beat the shit out of them for doing it. Those are the rules of meathead love.

This kid sounds kid of like a weenis. Not really fun. Prudish. Always offended by the funniest stuff. You can groan, you can walk out, but if you're really questioning whether someone can be your friend because of a gross movie they showed you, then they may be better off without you.

Posted by Moltarr | November 7, 2007 8:17 PM

OK, finally saw it. I've seen it before. Somebody on a Slog comment thread actually provided a link to it but the footage didn't include the girl shitting in the cup, which makes all the difference in the world. I actually thought it was peanut butter ice cream the previous time I saw the footage.

Posted by Sammy | November 7, 2007 8:26 PM

Wow Michigan Matt! Me too!
Though we usually got drunk first.

Times like this, I'm glad there wasn't even a BBS where I went to school.

Posted by Mike | November 7, 2007 9:13 PM

The reason they said it was not porn is because to them it wasn't. Porn is something that is intended for sexual arousal and to these guys the only reason to watch it was the extreme gross out factor.

I wouldn't be concerned that they "like" this kind of porn, they don't. They like grossing people out because they are young men.

I also agree with previous posters that this kid is way too uptight. Can't be cool and and a tight ass at the same time. If you can't joke with the meatheads, it is fine to walk out, but taking yourself a little less seriously and just biting the bullet when that stuff is around is a better route to popularity.

Posted by Jim | November 7, 2007 9:20 PM

Ah, what a coincidence...I heard of this video but didn't know what it was, found it, watched it, almost puked...and THEN made my way over to the Slog. Never again will I put the Slog last on my list.

Posted by Joey the Girl | November 7, 2007 10:03 PM

Yah, saw this a few weeks ago. I had to rinse out my eyes with drano, but I should be able to see in a few more years! I'm communicating with a Stephen Hawking like device right now. Damn those 2 girls one cup! Damn you!

Posted by Kristin Bell | November 8, 2007 2:20 AM

Ah, two-gee-one-cee, as my friends call it. This went around my high school last week. One of my straight guy friends, before he saw it, said "It's two girls - how bad could it be?" Um, pretty bad. Don't watch it, Dan. But if you your reaction and put it on Youtube.

Posted by yourleastfavorite | November 8, 2007 6:29 AM

Oh, I'm sure Savage would be real shocked watching it. The man could probably watch it while eating rocky road ice cream and not even flinch once.

Posted by Yeah right | November 8, 2007 6:45 AM

totally fake consistency. as for the vomit, as with enemas, a stomach pump beforehand will empty most of the contents.

Try looking up Dusan Makavejev's "sweet movie" for more subversive material.

Posted by former film editor | November 8, 2007 6:50 AM

Looks like someone is trying to outdo TubGirl and Goatsee with that video.

And college boy needs to lighten the fuck up.

Posted by Shark | November 8, 2007 7:09 AM

TTYL, you're totally overanalyzing this. If you were really *that* offended by what you were seeing, you could have let out a "fuck you guys" and left the room, as I did the instant I saw shit fill a cup.

Since you didn't have many friends in HS, you missed out on that meathead bonding that is centered around grossing each other out, constantly referencing cinematic treasures such as Borat and the latest Will Ferrell movie, and calling each other queers (or some variation thereof). If you don't want to deal with any of that, you're gonna have to find new friends. Stop worrying about fitting in with the "cool" kids. Anyone that wouldn't have you as a friend because of who you are isn't worth having as a friend anyway.

Posted by T | November 8, 2007 9:13 AM

So where does this rate as compared to swap.avi?

Posted by Ben | November 8, 2007 10:27 AM

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