Oh, you want a Kurt Cobain nutcracker? We got two for our wedding and Restoration Hardware wouldn't let us return them.

Wouldn't a Courtney Love nutcracker be more appropriate?

@2: you continue to remain one of my all-time favorite commenters here. thanks.

This was not, in fact, offered without comment.

Last year, my partner and I were looking for finials in Restoration Hardware. I guess our appearance wasn't up to par, because soon after walking into the store, we realized we were getting sideways looks from the staff. As we walked throughout the store we were followed by various shifty eyed employees with walkie-talkies. We could actually here them talking about us over the radios, "They're headed your way."

Amused by the absurdity of the moment, we kept walking in circles around the store to make sure they were following us. The staff actually seemed stressed out by our presence. The idea struck us to pretend to pocket something(not actually, of course) and run out of the store as fast as we could to see if they would chase us. In the end we just chickened out and left, laughing our fool heads off and vowing never to return.

That is hideous and terrifying. Are you sure it's not a leftover Halloween decoration?

Sadly, it is a known fact that Hendrix had to leave Seattle to be appreciated.

Times they aren't a changin'.

I used to like Catalina too, but I think she said something mean about me once. I don't even remember what it was, I just remember thinking "that bitch.."

But yeah, very nice sculpture. You can barely handle yourself, you're so astonished.

what is it w/ shtity ass scultpures in this city? pigs, nutcrackers dressed like arsenio hall...

what i wouldn't do for some don judd or dan flavin works in that abortion of an atrium w/ wood rejected from bill gates

Oh I think it's befitting to have a commercialized Jimi in front of a store where a hammer can be $50.

It signifies what we all know. Most people, and certainly most retailers, don't get it.

Kueven summed up Restoration Hardware quite nicely...Nick & I don't shop there anymore.

Dan, I used to read your column weekly in the Village Voice, and I'm glad I read the fine print at the bottom of your column to find this site. I allowed my Village Voice subscription to lapse, since I no longer agree with their "tabloid" way of pseudo-reporting the news.

We call it Frustration Hardware.

Wasn't he on 3rd, on the west side of the street, somewhere around Columbia last year?

Wow. That's some pretty awesome art there at the mall. You guys sure are lucky.

how much longer do we need to endure that crappy camera phone?

@10:

Any numbskull who goes to Restoration Hardware looking for a hammer, deserves to get ripped off to the tune of $50.

And yes, @2, that was my first thought as well. Great minds and all that, only mine seems to be about an hour and 13 minutes behind yours today.

Bah, it's not that bad. Mine is way worse. His is probably a good 2 mp.

Why, thank you Kerri, that's nice to read.

Amelia, what do I know? I'm just a Beacon Hill housewife. Besides, I was probably drunk at the time.

Zander, I know what you mean. I wasn't appreciated in Council Bluffs. That's why I left.

Dan, I don't think you're capable of offering anything "without comment" but good try

They had a Greg Nickels nutcracker but it wouldn't fit anywhere, not even outside.

@6: As soon as I read your comment, I immediately thought of "The Nightmare Before Christmas", since this seems like the sort of decoration you'd find in Halloweentown when they were trying to imitate Christmas! They'd have decorations and toys for Christmas, but they were all hideous and terrifying!

to those nerds among us it looks like one of the mini-bosses in Double Dragons II the one that doesn't look like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

What's even scarier than the "sculpture" and RH concept are those huge, garish marble tiles on the floor. The only solution is to stay out of malls completely, and if that means living in a ghetto it's worth it.

Actually the first thing I thought of was that Hawaiian statue that scared the crap out of the Brady family.

Hey, if it were up to me, we'd still have Fredericks and Klopensteins. And there'd be an I. Magnin where an I. Magnin OUGHT to be.

Jezuz, didn't these stupid Nutcracker statues jump the shark last year? We gotta put up with them again this year? I thought we just got rid of those fucking pigs.

With a million or so people in the area, you'd think we would be capable of finding a few that could create some original art.

Not to be uppity or anything - but those of you who go to the malls and places like Restoration Hardware deserve your fate.

Just what the hell do you expect?

Happy shopping to all the pseudo minimalists ... and take some money to the missions for Thanks.
Your Christian duty.

kueven@5- I'm a gigantic guy who frequently wears full-up riding leathers in inappropriate venues, recently with mid-back length hair (just cut it all off and gave it to Locks of Love), and I've *never* been treated the way you describe in any store. What the fuck were you guys wearing/doing to attract this kind of attention?!?

I think it's pretty cool, actually.

Sven...you should try shopping while black sometime. Just go a upscale store with a black friend and watch what happens.

Ain't it da truth????????

Big Sven,
i'll go with you mall shopping sometime Sven.. but you gotta wear the full leathers

I hate this nutcracker garbage littering our streets. It is not art as it has been claimed to be.

I wonder why Mr. Poe stopped linking himself...

@34:
Hello! Have you seen his myspace page??????? That should answer your question...

@35 Link please

Janie Hendrix is soooo going to sue someone for this.

I see it. Looks the same as always...
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=27824191

@ Big Sven and Kueven

I totally know what you're talking about. My roommate and I went into Restoration Hardware, and a few other stores, and got that same treatment. Apparently two college kids shopping for a new apartment are people to beware.

Sure, we touched things, we compared them, we picked them up and talked about them... all without asking for assistance, but I didn't think that was shifty behavior.

(On a side note, we didn't actually plan on buying anything. The idea was to go look at all the shiny new things and see if we liked the way any of it looked so we could recreate it cheaply... damn being poor sucks.)

I worked for an auction house that sold all of these pieces of shit after the charity was done with them - we had a huge African taxidermy collection at the same time that included the heads of an elephant and a giraffe (with neck). It was a fucking nightmare. No one wanted to buy them.
Thanks for warning me that they were still around - I'll just avoid downtown until after the holidays.

When I'm with my son, who uses a wheelchair, we frequently get the "are they shoplifting stare?" Its subtly different from the "look, someone's in a wheelchair" stare. Do they think the wheelchair offers many places to hide stolen goods? Or do they think someone in a wheelchair can't have any money so must be seeking to steal?

I'm surprised no one has analyzed the upside down peace sign yet...

gnossos@30- Shopping While Black. Yikes. That sucks. Wish there was a progressive shopper web site that would cover vegetarian, vegan, organic, fair trade, union-friendly, and minority/LGBT POV issues.

@8 ja haha....."she"

Wow - the last time I was in a mall, Jimmy Carter was President. Now I remember why.

No Nig-Nogs for me!

@46: Troll.

Also, coward.

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Do you hear that spinning coming from the direction of Renton ?
That''s Jimi spinning in his grave over this nutcracker, and other stuff being hawked by "Experience Hendrix,LLC," the,er, uhm "family" company.

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