How is it fucking possible that a company* can have an online “renew my account”—my PAID account—feature that they clearly have never actually tried. Seriously. How is it possible?

Witness:

Let’s see what’s wrong here:
1! - “Renewing your online membership has never been easier!” - This is total bullshit, and I’ll prove it.
2! - “… click “enter” below!” - First, too enthusiastic. Second, raise your hand if you see an “enter” button. Right.
3! - See all those “Please enter…” lines? Those are errors, because I’ve already submitted the form as instructed. Couple funny things about those errors: One, they don’t look like errors. It took me a little while to realize they were there, and that they were responsible for my getting the same form back after clicking entersubmit. Two, they refer to fields that DON’T FUCKING EXIST IN THIS FORM, making it quite difficult to do as requested.
4! - I and most sane people tend to reflexively say no to any sentence that begins, “I’d like to receive e-mails regarding…” In this case, though, I’m confused. E-mails regarding my account? Well, it seems like I’d want those, right? “Your account information has recently been sold to terrorists,” for example, or, “Your account is now piping all data through your Facebook profile,” or more realistically, “Your account is about to auto-renew.” If that’s what they mean, this option shouldn’t even be available. They probably mean spam.

It’s really #3 that makes this the worst form in history. I’m trying to give them money and it’s impossible. Have they seriously not tried this feature before? Obviously they have not, and for this they should be slapped about the face and neck continuously for 6 days with a sock filled with duck fat.

Happy Thanksgiving!

</rant>

* I’m not naming the company/service, not because I want to spare them the extreme humiliation of getting what-for on Slog, but because I want to spare myself from similar feelings should I reveal what it is that I was trying to renew. Feel free to speculate.