Slog News & Arts

Line Out

Music & Nightlife

« Smart New Enviro Blog | You're Welcome »

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Disembodied Boobies for Everyone!

posted by on November 8 at 17:44 PM

Melissa over at Shakesville has put together an awesome collection of disembodied-boob-shaped novelties— “remnants,” Liss writes sarcastically, “of that glorious lost culture in which disembodied breasts ran free and men still peed standing up. They’re hard to find these days, of course. But the regrettable loss of novelty boob kitsch was inevitable with sexism’s end.” (Annoyingly, Photobucket removed many of the images because they were “offensive”—which is weird, you know, since they’re supposed to be innocuous and hilarious.)

Awesome stuff like this:


and this:


and my favorite, the singing, wall-mounted “Jingle Jugs”:


Plus! A bonus link to all the women-as-toilets products that are out there:


Have fun!

RSS icon Comments


We used to have this mug at our family's cottage that had two large breasts on it. Printed underneath: Drink Milk.


Posted by Michigan Matt | November 8, 2007 6:06 PM

Erica, if you're trying to be ironic, it's not coming through very well.

Why even post this? It's depressing as hell. I'm just waiting for the comments to start rolling in...

Posted by Irena | November 8, 2007 6:08 PM

that 1st pic is all wrong... its gummi titz!
sheeesh, where did these people go to school?

Posted by pissy mcslogbot | November 8, 2007 6:16 PM

they also have penis pasta.

Posted by konstantConsumer | November 8, 2007 6:38 PM

Those headless, armless, rear-entry urinal helpers in the last photo likely aren't the most hygienic things in the world. I hope that guy is planning on washing his hands when he's done groping his.

Posted by Bison | November 8, 2007 6:39 PM

@4 - that's different. You see, molding body parts into pasta is provably degrading to a gender when it depicts female body parts. When pasta is penis-shaped, however, it magically morphs into celebration of a gender, through a top-secret manufacturing process that only Melissa at Shakesville has detailed knowledge of.

Scientific fact!

Posted by tsm | November 8, 2007 6:48 PM

Scientific fact: Men want to fuck women. The more attractive they are, the better. Plain and simple.

Posted by Blah blah blah | November 8, 2007 6:56 PM

and also, i'll grant you that i'm not a boobie specialist (my major was in ta-tas), but those are some weird shaped ones in that pasta pack.

Posted by konstantConsumer | November 8, 2007 7:00 PM

that last one make me feel sad

Posted by kittenchops | November 8, 2007 7:03 PM

I know a girl that likes to be pissed in.

Just saying.

Posted by Some Dude | November 8, 2007 7:13 PM

@7, I have no problem with men who want to fuck women. I LOVE men who want to fuck women! What I have a problem with is men who think it's funny to treat women as toilets.

As for the boob stuff, I remember seeing stuff like this at friends' houses when I was a little kid, and I thought it was proof that the adults around me were idiots.

If your wondering why I would get so worked up about this and not just laugh it off, go to the website and check out Melissa's comments at the bottom. To quote her in part:

I'm a girl with no sense of humor about anti-girl things—go figure.

I'm a girl with absolutely no interest in participating in my own subjugation, thank you very much.

And I'm a girl who really doesn't give the tiniest wee drip of dogwank if the discriminating breast aficionados of the world don't like it, because their antipathy is substantiation of their privileged ignorance.

Posted by Irena | November 8, 2007 7:18 PM

are you really, truly offended by these? cuz pretty much every boob novelty comes in a dick and/or balls version, too. with the exception of the toilets, it's all extremely, boringly unoffensive.

when you call out silly shit like this as sexist, it kind of devalues the seriousness of actual, real world sexism, just a teeeensy bit.

Posted by brandon | November 8, 2007 7:31 PM

What I have a problem with is men who think it's funny to treat women as toilets.

Of course - no one would ever manufacture a urinal that looked like a man, would they?

Posted by tsm | November 8, 2007 7:46 PM

Brandon, I am pretty clear on what "actual, real world sexism" looks like, sounds like, and feels like. Trust me.

And I understand why you're surprised that I'm offended -- because you DON'T know what sexism feels like. And I'll cut you some slack for that, and explain myself.

Sexism, for most women, isn't about getting hit by a man, or getting raped, or anything so obvious. It's about what you see and hear every day from the moment you start to understand what a girl or a woman is supposed to be. It's the insults -- "He throws like a girl!" "Don't be such a woman, yah pussy!" It's the toys -- little brooms and kitchens and Barbies. And it's the images -- ad after ad after ad telling you that the most important thing you could possibly devote your time to in this world is being pretty. See the following if you really want to know what I'm talking about:

It's all this stuff, all your life, and then it's finding out that you've come to believe it. And lots of your friends have come to believe it. And that's why your sister lets her husband hit her, or your friend feels guilty after being raped. Because they don't value themselves, and they don't value their bodies.

Finally, it's being reminded that there are still a lot of men out there who don't make the connection between all of these images and messages, and all of the damaged women out there. Men who only see the one little joke, not the life-long, world-wide pattern. Men who think that women's sexuality is a joke on us.

I'm sure you don't hate women, Brandon. I'm sure you're well-intentioned, and you're probably a nice guy. But you don't see this stuff, because you haven't lived with it all your life.

That's all I'm trying to say.

Posted by Irena | November 8, 2007 7:58 PM

Guys get it too, silly Irena. They're encouraged to be masculine in every aspect, everyday. That's why homosexuality makes a lot of heterosexual men uncomfortable. Because it's not what they're "supposed" to be.

Posted by Amelia | November 8, 2007 8:16 PM

Well I dont get it. These pics seem like representations of all the fun bits of the chicks, without all the annoying parts. Only those whacked out womenz studiez chick would have a problem with this, right? I mean when I part-ay and theres some hottie around, I'm not thinking "OMG, look at the brain on her" am I right guys. This way I dont have to think of them as people or anything, right brah???

Posted by clueless frat boy | November 8, 2007 8:37 PM
And lots of your friends have come to believe it. And that's why your sister lets her husband hit her, or your friend feels guilty after being raped. Because they don't value themselves, and they don't value their bodies.

And this, here, is the kind of facile analysis that leads me to wax snarky on blogs. We have a set of context-free images demonstrating that products shaped like tits exist. Who is buying them? To what end? What do they really think of them? Why are these clearly different than objects shaped like penises? (Well, she goes off a little about this, saying that sucking a penis popsicle is a submissive act. If you say so! What about biting it? Can we wank about that for a while?)

None of this is seriously explored. Rather, it is immediately taken for granted that this is the first event in a chain reaction that end with a woman getting raped. No, I don't see the "connection", and if there is one, I would not glean it from this.

Posted by tsm | November 8, 2007 8:50 PM

Men think about sex every seven seconds or something crazy like that. How often do men think about having intellectual conversations with women?

Posted by LuLU | November 8, 2007 8:51 PM

"How often do men think about having intellectual conversations with women"

will that help me get some?
ahem, not that I need it, that is..

Whhhoooo Cougs!!!!

Posted by clueless frat boy | November 8, 2007 8:58 PM

Amelia, I agree with you (and I'll let the "silly" comment pass). I care a great deal about how heterosexist gender expectations hurt men, and especially boys, and I'm glad you do, too (because I think more people should). But those gender expectations are predicated on the idea that men are supposed to be SUPERIOR to women. They are supposed to be tougher, stronger, more aggressive, more confident, and more intelligent. On the other hand, women are STILL valued primarily for being nurturing to their babies and sexy for their husbands. Now look at who rules the world. Who's on top in business? government? the media? the church?

You should know all this, and if you don't, you need to take a course in women's history. You are very, very lucky to live in a time and place where women--feminists--have won the right to challenge the tradition of inequality. You should respect it. After all, you are a direct beneficiary of it.

Posted by Irena | November 8, 2007 9:08 PM

Irena- awesome post. And an extra ten points for being so polite in the midst of being so impassioned.

Not that you need my validation, of course.

Posted by Big Sven | November 8, 2007 9:11 PM

tsm @17,

If you still don't see the connection, I'm not going to try to explain it to you, because you never will. Think whatever you want, and have a nice life.

Posted by Irena | November 8, 2007 9:11 PM

Big Sven -- thank you.

Posted by Irena | November 8, 2007 9:35 PM

1st - whoa.

2nd - you know, i'm the first guy to admit - women are emotionally, spiritually, etc the stronger sex. menstruation, child birth, really bad sex, the shoes [almost like footbinding at times. they are cute, though]... and having to deal with men on top of it. for all the shit that women have to put up with every day - something i've never had to deal with, nor will ever truly understand - i tip my hat to all of you.

and yet, even still, i have to hold back from rolling my eyes when i read this stuff.

here, i googled "penis" and "novelties". here's my top hit:

18 pages of penis novelties, many of which are in the same packaging as things on melissa's page, just shaped like dicks instead of boobs.

honestly, i'm on your side here, but you need to choose your battles a little more carefully. all i'm saying.

Posted by brandon | November 8, 2007 9:39 PM

brandon those are some weak ass arguments, you may think of yourself as all pro-womens rights but you are not. you are an apologist for the worst part of sexism and touchy-feely about the parts that make you feel better about yourself...and the battles the feminists choose are just fine, I'm sure they dont need your validation or askance criticism.
think about it and go a step farther.

Posted by concern troll much? | November 8, 2007 10:01 PM

Awww, what a sweetie.

Posted by Amelia | November 8, 2007 10:02 PM

Brandon, I get your point about the dick and boob stuff. And yes, there are man-shaped urinals, as tsm pointed out. But they signify differently. Like it or not, the female-body-part stuff ties in to larger ideas about women's bodies and women's roles. And yes, this has to do with context.

These objects are value-laden. They come with meanings already attached. Sure, you can mess with those meanings by presenting these things ironically, or otherwise out of context. But you can't make those meanings go away. When you "roll your eyes" at women who find the objects distasteful on the basis of their sexist meanings, you're denying that those meanings exist. It's kind of like looking at a bunch of, say, totem poles in a museum, and saying, hey, what's the difference between these and the white people's artifacts? Why are all those Indians so pissed off? But the Indians see something different. They see a whole history there.

That's how it is for feminists, or women who know their history, if you want to avoid the "f" word. We see all the meanings, and it distresses us.

Or it's like the kid who gets smacked with the wooden spoon all the time by his mom. When he grows up, he says fuck it, I don't want a wooden spoon in my kitchen. I fucking hate those things. Would you expect his wife to roll her eyes and say, "It's just a spoon, and you have no right to object to it"?

It's fine that you don't see how these objects signify in the world, but you can't deny that they might be offensive to others, or that objecting isn't a reasonable response.

Lastly, I would hesitate to say that "women are emotionally, spiritually, etc the stronger sex." Reminds me of that claim some (in my view) crackpot feminists make that if women ran the world, there would be no war. Right! Generalizations like that tend to produce lies.

Posted by Irena | November 8, 2007 11:26 PM


You-all make me feel really pessimistic about the future of our species...

Can't we all just agree that other people's naughty bits are fun to look at, and leave it at that?

Posted by COMTE | November 8, 2007 11:59 PM

Note to all denizens of SLOG: No one shall ever, under any circumstances, make any mention of breasts ever again.

Posted by Greg | November 9, 2007 12:17 AM

wow. sally field, too? really?

i'm guessing pretty much anything i say from now on will prove your point further [as has been the case all along. i really should know better], so this can't hurt too much - thank fucking god i'm gay.

Posted by brandon | November 9, 2007 12:45 AM

I'm sorry we couldn't understand each other, Brandon. Really. I am.

Posted by Irena | November 9, 2007 2:16 AM

""I'm sorry we couldn't understand each other, Brandon. Really. I am."

well thats not all that suprising, given that men are from mars and all women really want a penis.

...runs away/takes cover

Posted by new age freud wanker | November 9, 2007 2:52 AM

My wife hosted one of those sex toy parties with her female friends and colleagues. When I got home, there were these little rubber penises all over the apartment--on top of the banister, on the TV, etc. Hmmm, I wonder if she was trying to tell me something.

Posted by Azul | November 9, 2007 7:52 AM

i really should just shut up, but i really,really want to say this: it's kind of sad that we discuss gender in this country the same way we discuss politics. the issues affect us all, but half of us are so tainted by our own existence, our opinions aren't even considered valid by the other half.

i know i suck for not only having a penis and an opinion - ANY opinion - about gender politics, and being so naive as to not feel utterly terrified to be honest about it. from now on, i'll just keep mouth shut, and we can all go back to tacitly agreeing that boob shaped pasta is another tool for men to make women's lives suck, while penis-shaped pasta is just for funzies. it somehow just seems much, much easier that way. now i'll shut up.

and yes, the human race is doomed.

Posted by brandon | November 9, 2007 8:44 AM

If disembodied-genitals necessarily imply that the sex with those genitals is devalued, then men and women are both devalued, and since value is zero-sum, neither are.

The natural response to this (which I've seen above) is that it's not the disembodied boobies by themselves that are the problem, it's them combined with other aspects of society. If that's the case, then the argument is including factors with no relevance - those other aspects of society are the problem, not disembodied boobies.

To say it in logical formalism:
(A or B) and (Not(B)) implies A.

In other words, things like this are a distraction from real issues. There's no reason to bring it in, if what you're really concerned about is something else.

Posted by AnonymousCoward | November 9, 2007 9:36 AM

I guess ... yeah, women are from venis men are from mars. Can we just agree that men and women are DIFFERENT? Not superior to each other but different, hell people are different for that matter. Some women like to objectified, others don't, some like to work for a living, other women like to stay at home (shudder!!!) IDEALLY we would run out into the world and create what we truely desire. And women ... in this country, and a a few others, you really have it made (comparatively speaking).

Can I blunt and say, men are a little bit more physically attracted to the opposite sex than men. Maybe women get VERY defensive when they don't feel or they just plain AREN'T as physically attractive. They wonder, "why doesn't he see me for who I am on the inside?" Why? Because we are men. Men are turned on by pornography, men are turned on by strippers, and men like lacey langerie GENREALLY more than women. Women on the other hand ... love McJagger, and for the longest time, Tom Cruise.

And men can't figure out why.

So when Brandon says, hey ... they have novelty penis stuff too ... it's completely trivial for them, and we men are OBVIOUSLY missing the bigger issue in that maybe women want to be judged by the good qualities in what they want to see in us ...

and sometimes us in them ...

Random thoughts from oregon.

Posted by OR Matt | November 9, 2007 10:24 AM

I will make a peace offering, and then I'll shut up, too. I do think your opinion is valid, and you made very some good points. And I agree that the booby toys are more silly than anything. It was the women's-bodies-as-urinals that got me.

But please understand this -- I never once meant to imply that you didn't have a right to your opinion. I only argued that I also have a right to mine.

Posted by Irena | November 9, 2007 10:42 AM

The urinal thing is quite tacky ... I'll give you that.

And why for the love of god WHY would anyone waste their time getting them just so they can clean them?

shudder ...

I do wonder in my twisted little head what sort of psychological experiment can unfold if we put those in the prison bathrooms.

Posted by OR Matt | November 9, 2007 10:50 AM

Sorry, I still don't get this American obsession with breasts. It's kind of strange, actually. You guys are both obsessed and ashamed of it, and they're really just part of women's bodies - kind of like the panty obsessions that Japanese guys seem to have.

I know I've lived in the US much of my life, but I still don't get it.

Posted by Will in Seattle | November 9, 2007 11:35 AM

It's because we aren't SUPPOSED to see them ... duh!

Europeans see nipples every damn day of their life. Before the internet, most men had to PAY for that luxury.


Posted by OR Matt | November 9, 2007 11:40 AM

(1) Breasts are part of the female sexual system. Most men also have a "thing" for labias. Not quite the same thing as looking at earlobes (for most people.)

(2) Humans are programmed to look for genetically viable mates. Big boobs= enough body fat to ovulate and carry a child to term.

For what it's worth, I'm not a "big boobs guy" either. I like the Scandinavian look. But I can see why some guys do.

I have *no* idea what lesbians think about big/small boobs.

Posted by Big Sven | November 9, 2007 11:52 AM

Responding to Will in Seattle, if that wasn't obvious.

Posted by Big Sven | November 9, 2007 11:53 AM

fair enough, irena. i'll renounce my vow of silence to accept the truce!

but i must reiterate, i understand that i'll never truly understand. i know it sounds stupid, and i know even saying it sounds patronizing, but i don't know how else to explain myself.

we're all trapped by weird gender identity and body issue bullshit, and some [i.e. women] inherently have it worse than others; i've been avoiding taking this angle in defending myself because it seems even more patronizing than saying i'll never understand, but there i go anyway [thanks to amelia @ 15 for making the case!]...

even though we'll never truly, *truly* understand each other on this, we should still be able to at very least be honest about it.

Posted by brandon | November 9, 2007 12:14 PM

Awwwww, Brandon and Irena should go out on a date now.

Posted by Winner | November 9, 2007 12:47 PM



Posted by OR Matt | November 9, 2007 1:30 PM

yer makin me blush!

Posted by brandon | November 9, 2007 2:25 PM

Now I'm charmed...

Posted by Irena | November 9, 2007 3:28 PM

A thing for labias? Sorry, even if I like to muff dive, I don't recall having a thing for labias. (@41/42) But I agree on programming - fertility messages do impact me, but it's more of a gestalt kind of thing. It's more of an "appropriate to the body type of the woman" kind of thing, and smoking is a negative fertility message, as is starving oneself.

Posted by Will in Seattle | November 9, 2007 3:41 PM

Labias are pretty much the funnest thing in the whole wide world. They're like a grownup's version of Chuck E. Cheese.

Posted by Big Sven | November 10, 2007 11:58 AM

buy line viagra

Posted by buy entry this trackback viagra | November 12, 2007 6:17 PM

I got peed in once... it was very um, interesting. Thanks #10!
p.s. if you'll remember, it was more of a daring and comedic experiment than a sexy getter-offer...dude. you said i "liked it".

Posted by not telling | November 14, 2007 1:27 PM
52 >cheapest airline flights

Posted by best time to purchase airline tickets | November 18, 2007 2:16 PM

Comments Closed

In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 14 days old).