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Monday, November 12, 2007

Can Absinthe Please Stop Returning?

posted by on November 12 at 14:03 PM

Lead story in today’s NYT arts section:

Absinthe Returns in a Glass Half Full of Mystique and Misery

To which I have only one thing to say: Stop it. Just fucking stop it.

Hasn’t absinthe been “returning” since, like, 1996? Haven’t scientists established that there’s nothing special about wormwood, at least not in the trace amounts in commercial absinthe? Isn’t it just booze that tastes like licorice and lighter fluid? Isn’t it already legal everywhere? Doesn’t Marilyn Manson already have his own brand? Do the goths really have that much control over the newspapers? Can’t we just get Donald Trump to gargle some on TV so nobody will ever want to talk about it ever again?


Can everybody please just get over it?

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What the fuck is that photo?! You should have hidden something that obscene behind a jump.

Posted by Carollani | November 12, 2007 2:12 PM

Ya it is old news and available in the UK, Canada and Europe.
Link anything to a drug and it is evil in the U.S.A. I guess.

Posted by -B- | November 12, 2007 2:13 PM

Is that my blessed Megan Mullally? Why is she touching that man?!

Posted by The General | November 12, 2007 2:15 PM

This is how I feel about the Stranger's SONICS coverage.

Posted by Mr. Poe | November 12, 2007 2:17 PM

For about the same buzz yo could have gotten from "real" absinthe, just have a shot of vodka or five then take a couple of tokes.

Posted by Same Buzz | November 12, 2007 2:35 PM

At least it's not another jenkems post.

Posted by kid icarus | November 12, 2007 2:39 PM

"Havenít scientists established that thereís nothing special about wormwood, at least not in the trace amounts in commercial absinthe?"

No, they've established that wormwood contains alpha-thujone, which is the psychotropic drug found in absinthe. They've also established that alpha-thujone inhibits type-A GABA receptors and type-3 serotonin receptors. Historic recipes for absinthe as well as vintage bottles of absinthe have been tested for thujone concentrations and found to have lower levels than most of the currently available commercial absinthes -- excepting, of course, that ridiculous mouthwash-colored Hill's crap that is apparently issued to Seattle hipsters.

Posted by Bison | November 12, 2007 2:45 PM

I'm with you 100% on this one, Brendan. Shut the fuck up and drink your fucking drink. Putting ice in a double-old-fashioned glass is ten thousand times more important a ritual than fucking around with piss and sugar cubes.

Posted by Fnarf | November 12, 2007 2:54 PM

As if one needed another reason to eschew absinthe: Demi-portrait of The Stranger Staff @ Smith pondering a scoop about pit bulls, child molesters and Christopher's colon.

Posted by ABSINTHE MAKES THE HEART STOP | November 12, 2007 3:04 PM

The newspapers are so ass-fuckingly backwards that they still think of goth as the realm of all things shocking. They think My Chemical Romance is goth. Hell, they probably think Disturbed is goth.

Posted by K | November 12, 2007 3:29 PM

There are too many attention whores in the goth community. Methinks you have some moles among you, goths.

Posted by Gomez | November 12, 2007 3:35 PM

Yeah, you can tell My Chemical Romance isn't TRUE goth, because they're sort of, almost, you know, interesting.

Posted by Fnarf | November 12, 2007 3:54 PM

MCR isn't goth. It's imitation emo, which isn't interesting at all. The only thing that sucks more than MCR are the fans who wish they were a part of MCR.

And for the record, singing about how much High School sucks, fuck authority, blablabla "they goin' clean up 'yo looks"--shut up. God. Nothing screams "loser" like High School pandering.

If my kid brought home one of their CD's, I'd beat the living shit out of them. Then I'd go buy them some McDonalds to make up for the abuse, and some PANTERA for good measure.

Posted by Mr. Poe | November 12, 2007 4:41 PM

I agree. Who cares about absinthe?

Posted by Greg | November 12, 2007 5:33 PM

Aquavit. Now that's a booze that'll curl your toes.

Posted by laterite | November 12, 2007 8:07 PM

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