Did you floss after?
Were you able to procure the necessary diapers, wetsuits, rope and king-size black dildos?
Furtive, stressful, and humiliating?
Dan, Dan. You're doing it wrong.
It's furtive and exciting.
Never send a gay to do a straight sex task.
You had public sex with your Mom???
I especially like all of the signs that say "No Llamas" in Florida. It would read, No bicycles, skateboards, rollerblades, dogs, cats, or Llamas. Which basically means I could have sex, walk my crocodile, and take a shit in the middle of the path.
Hah! I usually have to read your books to hear about your personal exploits.
Speaking of your books, the big Barnes & Noble downtown doesn't even have one copy of Skipping Toward Gomorrah; I was shocked—SHOCKED!—so I bought The Kite Runner instead.
Does your mom ever ask what you do for a living?
What does she think about Hump, dear boy?
What makes you think Hump! wasn't her idea?
do tell @7 clearly you're a newb on the Dan scene, else you would recall those delightful times when Mom Savage was on Savage Love Live.
Oh my goodness. Hysterical. Is this a retirement community riverwalk? It seems like they've tried to take all the fun out of it. Soon to be added to the list: No Kids.
And here I am, thinkin' that should be the only thing on the list.
That Barnes & Noble doesn't have shit. But they'll order whatever you want off of their website, which of course you could do yourself from the comfort of your own home. There used to be a time when those big stores existed so you could find whatever you need in one place.
@6: you can have my copy of the kite runner. its a snooze, and i didn't make it too far past the rape scene.
At least you didn't have public sex with a crocodile, Mr. Poe.
FYI, they don't do oral ... or at least, if they do, it's just once.
Looks like Lake Bellevue.
True, will - but they definitely DO swallow!
Can we come?
The signage is so in need of redaction:
1. "Welcome to the white bread, tight-ass, I've-got-mine serenity of the McHenry Riverwalk"
2. Omit the "adhere to" baloney - bandaids and Scotch tape adhere.
3. "Unlawful" or "illegal" - which is it? is there actually a law that says one cannot fish ON the riverwalk - are there fish on the riverwalk? Who wrote this law? and why? What about crabbing?
4. "Thank you and enjoy your physically unhealthy, comatose stay. No loud music or stertorous breathing after 2200 hours."
"Thank you and enjoy your stay despite the act of enjoyment being a misdemeanor."
Is Eli Sanders gay? Or is his relationship with Chris Crocker totally platonic?
@11 Yeah. I was actually surprised that one wasn't on there. Where there are kids, there's trouble. And wacky highjinks.
Clarified who I went on the walk with, thanks. Not mom, boyfriend. You have a filthy mind, Dee.
And my mom knows -- and loves -- what I do for a living. She has all my books (all, uh, four of 'em) on a shelf in her living room, along with my brother's books. And who the hell do you think taught me to give good advice in the first place?
@22 Wait. Your brother writes books, too?
Is it Micheal Savage?
No, Michael Savage is Chris Crocker's better half. Eli Sanders is his significant other.
Amelia, you are seriously outta' the loop.
It's called Wikipedia.
hahaha I've seriously been waiting my entire Slog life for someone to figure that out!
Rhett Oracle @18: you know nothing about serious redaction. This sign is packed with redundancies and stupidities and bogus politesse. It's worse than flight-attendant-speak. Why does a sign need to welcome anybody? It should say:
End of story. Inline skates ARE rollerblades. If they want to ban regular (four-square) skates, they should replace "rollerblades" with "skating".
@28 Let me be among the first to bow to your edified redaction. Local time is 5:59pm.
If the sign were in Seattle it would have to include the international "no" struck through icons of those denoted activities for the single resident of Riverwalk who's illiterate.
A riverwalk in McHenry? Next you'll be telling me there's a Leaning Tower of Arlington Heights.
McHenry used to be the white trash center of McHenry County. When did they develop attitude?
Rollerblades are inline skates. Not the other way around.
It's a name brand.
If A=B, then B=A.
Are you doing a book tour Dan? Or do you just travel a lot? Hope you are having fun! :)
In this case, 'rollerblades' are an element of a set and the set is 'inline skates', so #32 is logically correct.
As a quad skater, I love 'No Rollerblading' signs.
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