Slog - Comments on The World's Saddest Paper, the World's Worst Pie http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors Both are in Kalama, Washington, that two-square-mile town near the Washington border where people stop for gas on the way to Portland. The pie was the stuff of melancholy: canned fruit glop scooped into an individual pie shell and barely microwaved. But the October 3 issue of The Reflector ("the newspaper with integrity") was the stuff of suicide. There was the lead story about the volunteer fireman who got fired from his volunteer job and is threatening to sue the city to get his volunteer job back. There was the story about the little girl with the horse named Lisa's... Copyright 2008 Mon, 08 Oct 2007 13:19:07 -0800 Tue, 09 Oct 2007 09:38:06 -0800 http://www.movabletype.org/?v=3.34 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Comment by elenchos It's usually a good security precaution for the average OS X user to leave root disabled, no matter what you think about Jesus, basketball or music.

]]> elenchos http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c820618 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c820618 At Large Mon, 08 Oct 2007 13:24:20 -0800 Comment by Mr. Poe Most people who love Jesus and basketball are disabled. In more ways than one.

See also:
Seattle Sonics
Nearest Church

]]> Mr. Poe http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c820619 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c820619 At Large Mon, 08 Oct 2007 13:24:45 -0800 Comment by Levislade Your mistake was stopping for gas in Washington on the way to Portland. Don't you want to pay less to have someone else pump it for you?

]]> Levislade http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c820639 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c820639 At Large Mon, 08 Oct 2007 13:27:35 -0800 Comment by josef krebs yeah, well, sure. But Brendan, the Kalama Burger Bar? AWESOME. Really. My favorite burger. We'll stop there in June.

]]> josef krebs http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c820663 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c820663 At Large Mon, 08 Oct 2007 13:31:03 -0800 Comment by Brendan Kiley Actually, I was stopping for pie on the way back from Portland.

(But I sometimes stop there for gas on the way, because I am a poor planner.)

]]> Brendan Kiley http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c820666 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c820666 At Large Mon, 08 Oct 2007 13:31:38 -0800 Comment by Boredtodeath a slow news day in slogsville, huh?

]]> Boredtodeath http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c820681 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c820681 At Large Mon, 08 Oct 2007 13:36:03 -0800 Comment by maxsolomon kalama exist for the burger bar only.

and i think full sail beer is brewed there, but all microbrews are hoppy shite & i stopped paying attention 10 years ago.

]]> maxsolomon http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c820688 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c820688 At Large Mon, 08 Oct 2007 13:37:17 -0800 Comment by Gurldoggie New York Review Books recently published "Novels in Three Lines" by Félix Fénéon for the first time in English. Fénéon anonymously wrote these "police beat" types stories for the French newspaper Le Matin in the early 1900's, and they were collected as abook in the 1940's. They are amazing, sad and potent little nuggets, much like the obituary quoted above. Just a few examples:

Again and again Mme Couderc, of Saint-Ouen, was prevented from hanging herself from her window bolt. Exasperated, she fled across the fields.

There was a gas explosion at the home of Larrieux, in Bordeaux. He was injured. His mother-in-law's hair caught on fire. The ceiling caved in.

A dishwasher from Nancy, Vital Frérotte, who had just come back from Lourdes cured forever of tuberculosis, died Sunday by mistake.

Finding his daughter, 19, insufficiently austere, Jallat, watchmaker of Saint-Étienne, killed her. It is true that he has eleven children left.

On the bowling lawn a stroke leveled M. André, 75, of Levallois. While his ball was still rolling he was no more.

]]> Gurldoggie http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c820777 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c820777 At Large Mon, 08 Oct 2007 14:07:59 -0800 Comment by Gomez Am I bad for finding all of that hilarious?

]]> Gomez http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c820870 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c820870 At Large Mon, 08 Oct 2007 14:42:13 -0800 Comment by arduous Gomez, I find it hilarious as well. But it's the OBITS that are hilarious, right? Not the dead people. Dead people are never funny. They're mostly boring and dead and shit.

]]> arduous http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c820906 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c820906 At Large Mon, 08 Oct 2007 14:54:44 -0800 Comment by Lloyd Cooney Some of the obits are of interesting people. Like Agnes Ketola. She got a diploma by mail, worked in the shipyards during WWII, married and divorced the same guy twice and owned a gas station with him! Agnes traveled quite a bit, too.

]]> Lloyd Cooney http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c820988 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c820988 At Large Mon, 08 Oct 2007 15:16:03 -0800 Comment by K That graf sounds like it was straight out of the Federal Way Mirror.

OK, fair enough, Federal Way News.

]]> K http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c821072 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c821072 At Large Mon, 08 Oct 2007 15:49:38 -0800 Comment by Gomez Indeed, arduous.

]]> Gomez http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c821266 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c821266 At Large Mon, 08 Oct 2007 17:26:47 -0800 Comment by Rose Red Once I stopped in Kalama with an old boyfriend, on the way back from Portland. We visited an antique shop, where upon entrance we were greeted
with a photocopied newspaper photo of an 18 lb cat sitting in an unusual position. A few minutes later, we ran into the same cat deeper into the store, and the owner gleefully tried to re-position the cat into the same way that it was sitting in the photo.

The End.

(Kalama stories are exciting, yes?)

]]> Rose Red http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c821293 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c821293 At Large Mon, 08 Oct 2007 17:59:19 -0800 Comment by Jim Demetre Speaking of leaving Portland, when did Waddles become Hooters? The giant fried egg clock has turned in a giant boob clock.

]]> Jim Demetre http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c821359 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c821359 At Large Mon, 08 Oct 2007 20:54:18 -0800 Comment by COMTE Jim,

Sadly, Waddles went out of business back in '04.

]]> COMTE http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c821397 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c821397 At Large Mon, 08 Oct 2007 23:34:30 -0800 Comment by drink real beer @7 -- it wasn't Full Sail. It was Pyramid. They stopped brewing there in the mid-90s when they bought Thomas Kemper, went hog-wild with an IPO, then blew up.

And you shouldn't fear the hops, pussy.

]]> drink real beer http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c821485 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/the_worlds_saddest_paper_the_worlds_wors#c821485 At Large Tue, 09 Oct 2007 09:38:06 -0800