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RSS icon Comments on The Difference Between Gay Park/Toilet Sex and Straight Park/Toilet Sex


I would have to agree. I work at a campus park right down the street from some freshman dorms. The vast majority of action in the park takes place at night and is almost certainly heterosexual couples from the dorm looking for some fun under the stars--away from their roommates. It's a campus tradition.

Posted by Michigan Matt | October 15, 2007 12:25 PM

Again, are there no Adult video stores with "preview" booths it Seattle?

Posted by Mike in MO | October 15, 2007 12:28 PM

If women were in charge of gay sex the way they are for straight, there'd be no park sex anywhere, ever.

Posted by C | October 15, 2007 12:36 PM

If women were in charge of gay sex the way they are for straight, there'd be no park sex anywhere, ever.

Posted by C | October 15, 2007 12:36 PM

I think I see a difference. Most of the time I've had sex in public parks (straight, fyi), it's not been oral sex.

Well, except for the first time.

Posted by Will in Seattle | October 15, 2007 12:38 PM

Hey, my first double post! Awesome!

Posted by C | October 15, 2007 12:38 PM

NOW you tell me!?

I've been sitting in that fucking stall for over a WEEK waiting for a woman to sneak in and start tapping her foot. A week I waited! All because the Slog said that straight people did it too, and I didn't want to miss out.

And I don't even want to talk about what happened when I went into the ladies room and reached under the stall. It wasn't anything like sex, straight, gay or in between, I'll tell you that.

Posted by elenchos | October 15, 2007 12:46 PM

OK, where's that video of the couple doing the cowboy in public in an empty part of the bleachers during a ball game? (See what I did there?) This was a classic 90s internet video gem.

Posted by matthew fisher wilder | October 15, 2007 12:55 PM
It wasn't anything like sex, straight, gay or in between, I'll tell you that.
Posted by robotslave | October 15, 2007 12:55 PM

(Should be implied but forgot to mention this was a man-woman couple)

Posted by matthew fisher wilder | October 15, 2007 12:55 PM

Also, anyone who wants to see shameless humping by straight couples in public need to attend a wedding in the suburban surf (surfurban?) communities of Southern California. It's really a treat to DJ for that kinda shit. Hoo boy.

Posted by matthew fisher wilder | October 15, 2007 12:57 PM

The world is still adjusting to the growing number of openly homosexual couples?! The authorities are homophobic?! What!!!!

Posted by Amelia | October 15, 2007 1:01 PM

well said, dan.

Posted by kerri harrop | October 15, 2007 1:08 PM

Here's some fun public hetero sex bust reading:

Granted, this was A LOT more brazen than tapping a foot in a public restroom, but still...

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | October 15, 2007 1:12 PM

Dan is rightous to attack homosexual men for having sex in public parks. It is an outrage to Washington Families. The only kind of gay men who would want to have sex in a public park is pervert Christians.

Posted by Issur | October 15, 2007 1:14 PM

I think another big difference between gay/straight public sex trysts is the nature of the relationship of those involved: practically no anonymous straight couples met for public sex (not counting prostitution... thats a different animal entirely) so the act of actually MEETING each other is not a factor- hence why they can have sex in random locations, rather than risking known public sex spots.

On the other hand, many of these gay men getting busted are straight identified, so they would never attempt to meet someone before hand in a bar or online for fear of being caught. They are forced to use predetermined locations, as it raises the odds of finding someone interested.

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | October 15, 2007 1:25 PM

I have two friends who were busted for having sex in their car, in a park (by the river, in a van, whatever). Anyway, both arrested for indecent exposure - one a guy, one a gal.

Posted by nuh uh | October 15, 2007 1:27 PM

so i just walk up to the womens' bathroom in a public park & there will be women who'll fuck me in the bushes?

i can't believe i didn't find out about this till i was 44!

Posted by maxsolomon | October 15, 2007 1:42 PM

Heh. I'd scoff at Dan for citing the bloody obvious, but evidently this wasn't so bloody obvious to some.

Posted by tsm | October 15, 2007 1:49 PM

Here's another one that is pretty funny.

Posted by Clint | October 15, 2007 1:53 PM

Sorry Dan, but I have to disagree..there IS a double standard...straight couples can, and do, perform public displays of affection that if same sex couples were to do the exact same thing, in the exact same location would be branded as your typical sex obsessed pervs and the cops would be called...and no, I'm not talking about holding hands or casual kissing. In warm weather, it's not difficult to find straight couples doing some major making out and outright sex...I've caught more than one straight couple fucking in cars on public streets, one of them across the street from the Stranger, I might add...I could give a rats ass, but if that couple had been gay the chances are a lot higher that someone would have called the cops...And no, I'm not saying that the straights are doin' it as flagrantly and as often as the 'mos, but they ARE doin' it and they are NOT treated the same by the authorities or the public in general...

Posted by michael strangeways | October 15, 2007 2:00 PM

No, max, no! Don't listen to them. Don't listen to RobotSlave -- I got MACED for that shit. TWICE!

And then when you try to explain to these women what you're doing in the womens restroom? They don't even listen! I heard women were like good listeners and shit but not when you go into the womens bathroom for an anonymous hookup.

I'm not a prude, Slave. Women are prudes. At least women in the bathroom. And the women who never go into the Mens room looking for me. They're the prudes.

Posted by elenchos | October 15, 2007 2:13 PM

oh, and there ARE places where straight people go to have public/outdoor the summertime, it's not the 'mos hanging out at Golden Gardens at night humping in the dunes..(I think there's a beach on Lake Washington for the 'mos)...Every city in the country has some sort of version of 'Makeout Point' even if it's just a cul-de-sac in an abandoned development. Straight kids have been fucking at the drive-in for years...granted, the drive-in's are gone, but guess what, those kids are still fucking SOMEWHERE. And everyone KNEW that kids were fucking at the drive-in but I don't recall hearing about massive busts where swat teams of vice cops raided the drive-in and hauled the kids off to jail and printed their names in the paper. My point is, the straights DO fuck around in public situations and society doesn't care...we wink at it..."kids will be kids"...if a bunch of gay teens were caught fucking at a drive-in, in the right state, the national guard would be called to round up those perverts. A gay couple caught making out in a parked car on an abandoned road, IS GOING TO JAIL...a straight couple MIGHT get hauled off, but let's be realistic...they're probably going to get a slap on the wrist...

And no, I'm not trying to make excuses for the toilet trolls and bush bunnies whose behaviour can be extreme. (I also don't buy the "most of them are married or straight identified" Quite a few of them are; quite a few of them are not.)For every straight couple fucking in a park bathroom, there's a dozen 'mos doing it...simply because they can. If straight men could talk women into rampant public sex, there'd be a hell of a lot more discarded panties and bras littered throughout Volunteer Park.

Posted by michael strangeways | October 15, 2007 2:17 PM

Hmm. I think @16 has a point. While I'm sure there are prostitutes and clients (straight) meeting for this, on the whole, straights tend to have sex in a public park as part of the whole dating/engaged/married thing.

I just can't see going to public parks for anonymous straight sex - although I did just watch Johnny Depp in Libertine, so I presume this might be quite possible.

Posted by Will in Seattle | October 15, 2007 2:22 PM

and Golden Garden rocks.

Posted by Will in Seattle | October 15, 2007 2:24 PM

I'll admit I'm guilty of public sex (straight) in a location that wasn't the greatest. Daylight, at a rest stop. But to my defense, I was in a car, not out in the open. And we had tinted windows!

Last night I had straight public sex on a rooftop. Unless the neighbors happened to be looking up, I doubt anyone saw us, therefore, we weren't hurting anyone :)

But I do think public sex in parks, out in the open, gay or straight, should not be tolerated by the police or anyone. Go get a room. Go to a porn store, motel, what have you. Don't let granny and her 3 year old grandson walk in on you! They don't need to be traumatized!!

Posted by FS | October 15, 2007 2:24 PM

...unless said granny and her 3 year old grandson are your neighbors looking up, right?

Posted by snarky smartass | October 15, 2007 2:33 PM

Yes and no, Dan. You're right about the differences, but there's also a double standard. There's a park in Oakland that was a major cruising ground for gay men, but many straight couples also used it for trysting. Lots of the gay men were busted by undercover cops, but I neved saw a straight couple hassled in any way.

Posted by mark | October 15, 2007 2:40 PM

I dunno. I just wouldn't feel safe naked in a public place. Ok, yeah, it's a public place. I simply doubt gay men having public sex worry much about being sexually harassed. If they do, it's probably less than getting caught.

And ok, yeah, I'm not so hot that anyone would jump my bones at the sight of my bare body, but I think it can be difficult to convince some women that it's a cool idea to strip off her clothes and act real horny when some have trouble walking around in a parka without getting unwanted comments.

Posted by Gloria | October 15, 2007 2:50 PM


Not really. We weren't buck naked and the only part that would've been seen (not blocked by trees or the higher parts of the roof) were our heads and shoulders. If it were a flat roof, or we were on the highest part of it, then sure, they would've had an eyeful. But I didn't want to be seen just as much as they wouldn't have wanted to see me, so we were careful about that.

Posted by FS | October 15, 2007 2:53 PM

@23 - "If straight men could talk women into rampant public sex, there'd be a hell of a lot more discarded panties and bras littered throughout Volunteer Park."

This much is undeniable, yes. But as it stands, the only scenarios I can buy in which straight people hook up anonymously and have sex en masse at a particular public venue are those in which prostitutes are involved. And in those scenarios, the authorities generally do intervene, just as they would at gay cruising sites.

Posted by tsm | October 15, 2007 3:10 PM

straight teenagers have sex in public all the time. usually in cars, in parks, at night. cops knock on their windows and tell them to move on.

dan is always comparing apples and oranges. what we need is for the unpaid intern to go to the place of public, teenage sex with a member of the same sex and then a member of the opposite sex and see what the difference in cops' treatment is. a real controlled experiment.

Posted by Finishtag | October 15, 2007 3:14 PM

Dan is rightous to attack homosexual men for having sex in public parks. It is an outrage to Washington Families. The only kind of gay men who would want to have sex in a public park is pervert Jews.

Posted by Russi | October 15, 2007 3:44 PM

drive in movie theaters are full of straight sex. trust me. Night club stall in the john, ie the phoenix undergrouond . full of sex. Any number of good old american "lovers lanes" have some sort of activity going of behind those steamed windows.

Posted by Jeff | October 15, 2007 3:56 PM

There's no excuse for public sex and selective prosecuation is totally unconstitutional but let's examine the perceived difference in pathologies as at least a poit of understanding the unfaur treatment.

Heteros are perceived as being spontaenous and adventureous and aren't likely to reoffend. The embarassment of an issued warning is probably sufficient to kill the behavior in most cases and even if unhampered, one go 'round in the bleachers at the Mariners game is probably enough excitement to last a lifetime.

Homos who do this are habitual.

Am I wrong? I'm okay with being wrong. Change my mind.

Regardless, it's wrong to prosecute it selectiuvely so this is all for entertianment anyway.

Posted by Poopshack Casanova | October 15, 2007 4:02 PM

Mike in MO, regretably, our puritanical streak (which is a mile wide in Washington State) does not allow for preview booths in adult bookstores.

Well, actually, I lie. They have preview booths, but the booths have doors like bathroom stalls, that start at the knees and end below the head. And they are usually patroled by employees to ensure there is only one person per booth at all times.

Portland is much more civilized. They have preview booths where the doors are real doors, they lock, and the staff don't care how many people you let in there.

Posted by catalina vel-duray | October 15, 2007 4:09 PM

Sex is overrated anyway.

Posted by It's Mark Mitchell | October 15, 2007 4:51 PM

@30 - i agree, it's only a few times I've been buck naked during public sex. And pretty much because she wanted too as well.

Rest stops at night are also ok, but not half as fun.

So, the myth that only gays have sex in public places is exactly that - a myth. And not even a good one.

Now, men's public restrooms ... probably true. Straight men tend to prefer women's restrooms for that, IMHO. It's a turn on for us, they're cleaner (not a joke, i did a research project on graffiti in public places once for Anthropology and for scientific purposes had to differentiate between male and female bathrooms), and it feels much safer for women than men's bathrooms.

Posted by Will in Seattle | October 15, 2007 5:17 PM

for all these examples... some are "worse" than others. in a park during the day is not the exact same as in a nightclub stall or a parked car at lover's lane. just ask yourself before engaging, which place is granny and three-year-old most likely to appear?

Posted by infrequent | October 15, 2007 5:24 PM

I think straight men are a bit jealous that, unlike gay men, if they want anonymous sex they have to PAY for it.

Hell, from everything I've seen If a straight man wants to have ANY sex he has to pay for it (one way or another).

If I were straight I'd HAVE to be celibate because I just can't imagine doing all the ass kissing, money spending, hoop jumping and self depreciating that straight men do just to get a piece of ass. The strangest thing about it is they seem oblivious to the screw job (and not the good kind) that they're getting.

Posted by Zeke | October 15, 2007 6:42 PM

So maybe straight men are jealous. What of it?

What if The Gays told women that they should start being willing to have anonymous public sex? Would they do it? Well, women wear whatever clothes The Gays tell them to wear, do they not? It almost sees like The Gays have women wrapped around their little finger.

And if The Gays got women to be a little more adventurous, would straight men be grateful? Would some of the heat come off in the cruisy parks and bathrooms? Well I don't know, but it's possible, isn't it? It seems like a fair deal, doesn't it?

I'm only asking the hypothetical.

Posted by elenchos | October 15, 2007 7:27 PM

@38 - "Straight men tend to prefer women's restrooms for that, IMHO. It's a turn on for us, they're cleaner"


Posted by tsm | October 15, 2007 7:28 PM

Zeke, you are completely disconnected from reality.

Oh, and you're misogynistic asshole, too.

Posted by Irena | October 15, 2007 7:32 PM

Gays and lesbians listen-up. Who do you come from and who do you look like? Did you know that one of our City Council candidates says not to vote for anyone "who doesn't look like you or come from you." This means she'd never vote for you. hint: it's a woman caught on video giving this sage advice.

Check it out and then remember not to vote for her. Vote for Bruce Harrell who embraces all people.

Posted by okayokay | October 15, 2007 8:27 PM

I love public sex (I'm gay), it's huge in Vancouver, it's everywhere... I've never seen police around the main gay area in Stanley Park... if you type 'public' into XTube, you'll see this is a huge growing fetish amongst our population. It feels good outdoors, hey we did it for 1,000's of years.

Posted by Stevie | October 15, 2007 8:31 PM

I admit that I got a bj from my girlfriend at seattle center on the stage by center house.

but that's the only time it has happened in the last year. public sex can be fun (i also did it in a gap dressing room) but im at the point where the excitement of such things is worn out.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | October 15, 2007 9:48 PM



Posted by Tank | October 16, 2007 12:56 AM

23 had a great point and Dan, your point was lame. Straight people do overrun certain places and do have sex in public places. Like 23 said, what about the classic "makeout point"?

I'm suprised at the stupidity of that argument.

Posted by Dan that was pretty lame | October 16, 2007 6:20 PM

Well, hmm. Do lesbians have anonymous public sex? Answer that and there will probably be insight into why straights don't have anonymous public (or hardly even non public for that matter) sex. It takes two.

Posted by fredE | October 18, 2007 11:44 AM

There are several 'clubbing' resorts in spain where the 18-30 crowd from england seems to go to drink as many alcopops as possible and to have anonymous sex with many people while drunk. Many of these places are notorious for girls giving random guys they've never met blowjobs in the middle of the club. One girl I know has taken part in this, and has also masturbated with an empty alcopop bottle in front of strangers.

Now tell me it's just the gays who do this.

Posted by fanglefish | October 25, 2007 7:01 AM

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