Comments on Shoulda Said "Thanks"

Oh the hypocracy! That idea was brilliant too.

Everyone knows that half the fun of being too old to trick-or-treat is scaring the bejeebus out of little halloweeners.

You know you did good when some kids refuse to go up your sidewalk, or even cry at the thought of it... Now that's the halloween spirit, great pumpkins and cheap plastic television show costumes be damned!

yeah make them earn their shit

You should have first suggested putting up an interactive "Every Child Needs a Mother and Father" tour, with life-sized replications of some of the more awful ones. Then, when he balked at that, you could have compromised on "just a few fake kids impaled on the lawn"

Man, "SHOULDA SAID THANKS" is fucking busting my ass right now. Hilarious! Please buy them a drink or, if they have kids, make sure you give them king size candy bars when they come to your door.

Dan, when Terry is out of line (when he disagrees with you), you should probably punch him in the face.

Sensitively, Mr. Poe.

Also though, and not to be a slave to the prudish man, as a high profile gay with a kid, previously charged (no matter how bogus....fully?) with "bioterrorism", leave the super funny "Here we bury ungrateful children" jokes to the neighbs. Everybody in Seattle already knows you're clever. Go with spiders and spooky music.

Dude... Mr.. Poe....

The Editor is edited by the significant other on the homefront. Funny stuff. Happens in my house all the time.

Dude, never, ever, ever let your boyfriend dictate how you decorate for the most important holiday of the year. There's still time to get those costumes stuffed before the trick or treaters come around tomorrow.

No one really goes all out in Pasadena. *sigh* So, to the club I go to stand around being unsexy at a bunch of other twenty-somethings.

good-fucking-gawd, whatever happened to the "trick" in trick-or-treat?

Next time, set it up w/o asking him. It is much easier to get forgiveness than permission.

Christians have been on to this idea for centuries.

It's better to do what you want and tell your spouse to kiss your ass.

My wife wants me to cover it up; said it will freak out our kids. I tried to point out that it was our kids who put it there. I say, load the pikes, Danny-boy.

El neighbor, if you're actually the neighbor with "Shoulda" in your front yard, you rule.

What, and scare all four of the kids who actually live on your side of the Capitol Hill - of a grand total of like, 17 or 18 in the whole neighborhood?

Seriously, though, I'd be curious to hear a count on actual trick-or-treaters you get at your door tomorrow (and you don't have to include the three or four that go into the stew pot...)

Are you kidding? We get hundreds of kiddies, all shapes and sizes, from all over town. And yes, I am the "shoulda" neighbor and since I now Rule, my first decree is: M&M Mars shall suck a halloween's worth of corn syrup back up it's crack candy ass. There.

When I was a kid my parents were remodeling and we had an old toilette that we put some kids costume pants coming out of, like he'd been flushed down a demon toilette, with fishing line attached and routed through the window so it would move occasionally. The toilette said "Didn't Lift the Lid". Kinda the same idea as your neighbor.

So... uh, got a bus stop near by?

The waterfront trick or treating sucked this year and I gotta take the kids out for some real neighborhood halloweenering... and it isn't gonna happen in downtown/belltown.

...and yes, my kids say thanks. (and got yelled at by the seafair pirates for it).

The only reason I miss my parents' house on Capitol Hill was decking it out for Halloween. We had the spookiest porch. The last Halloween that we had there, there were 13 classic jack-o-laterns going all the way up the stairs, then it was really dark with creepy lights and spiders and snakes and camo and moss all over the porch and you felt trapped until we opened the door and there were spiderwebs and bats in the windows. We did more for Halloween than we ever did for lame old Christmas. Memories...

Packrat @19, El Neighbor's block is some awesome trick or treating. I won't tell you where it is, but I'll suggest hitting your nearest retail strip. Big cities with few children aren't typically good for house-to-house action, but neighborhoods with a lot of kids produce strips like 34th in Madrona, for example, which is good trick or treating, or California in W. Seattle.

Dan, I still liked your idea of impaling jack-o-lanterns. But the kid idea is awesome, too.

Oh Jesus, you and your neighbor sound like my dad. I didn't realize until I was an adult that it was all part of his plan to scare other kids away from our house so that he could keep the Reese's cups to himself.

Sorry, Dan. Your neighbor's idea is funnier than yours. It's probably the only time in your life you'll be second best at something, so be gracious.

Last year I bought some fucking pumpkins and a couple bags of candy and waited for tricker treaters. I got like 4. There are a lot of kids in my neighborhood (the CD), but none seem to inclined to come to my house seeking treats.

This year I am locking the gate and drinking away my sorrows. Fuck you children, you had your chance.

@21

Thanks for the suggestions.

You know, we've been told to hit University Square or somesuch, but going to retail outlets and malls just doesn't feel like real trick-or-treating.

...it sorta feels like telling the kids that Walmart Claus is comming to town and his yellow grinning vissage is gonna wiggle like a screen full of pixels and his plastic sack of lead-based toys is made by little girls and boys.

Actually, I fear that halloween appears to be dying a slow undead death as kids are forced to go further and further into small sections of nieghborhoods for loot. My sympathies lie with the people who have to suffer handing out treats to throngs of kids that don't even live nearby.

Halloween used to be more than just candy, it was also about getting to know your neighbors and community better too. I guess even those concepts seem to be near-undead these days.

My favorite scaring the trick-or-treaters story involved the father of a good friend of mine collaborating with his youngest daughter (who was about 7-8 at the time). The daughter was in costume, and pretended to be trick or treating by herself. When a group of trick-or-treaters (usually with a parent in tow) would near her house, she would go up to the house with them to trick or treat. When the doorbell rang, the dad (dressed in serial killer attire) flung open the door, grabbed the daughter, and dragged her inside (she, of course, screaming in terror).

This obviously scared the shit out of the trick or treaters. And the parents, actually. A few times the parents stuck around and knocked on the door just to make sure it was a joke.

I wonder if the boyfriend would let you do that, Dan?

When I was wee, my parents used to take the candy I'd come home with and throw it away. They said something about poison and tacks, but I knew they wanted it for themselves. It's then that I learned to drop the treat, and stick to the trick. Besides, you can always buy candy at the store, and every child deserves a night of petty vandalism.

People just don't put the same effort into decoarting that they used to. I mean, where are the murder suicide tableaus with the stippled veins, blood jets, and "no one leaves me! BANG! BANG!" audio clips? I want to see cadavers dangling from maples and oaks with suicide notes stapled to their foreheads, wolfmen sexually molesting severed heads they're holding up by the hair, fake mutilated body parts in bathtubs near empty containers of hydrochloric acid, and, of course, closeted republican politicians pleading guilty to solicitation. To dream...of better days, when child abuse was considered healthy and fun.

It's MY fucking house too.

Last year with our regular display we still had little kids shitting their pants and crying as their parents forced them to our door.

Impaled children seems a little like gilding the lily.

However a Dick Cheney costume or George Bush hanging from the rafters... now that's what I call entertainment!

And for those wondering, last year we got trick-or-treaters in the hundreds and halloween carolers who were treated to some expensive shots of tequila for their efforts.

It's not all bad at Casa Savage.

We have a grave marker for "Kid with No Costume" on our lawn. Only about 10 or 15 out of the 400 kids that came by the house were too afraid to come to the door.

C'mon Terry, we all know who pays the bills. Dan & DJ.

Packratt at 26, there's an interesting sociology paper here. I'm going to guess that you, like me, grew up in a single-family home neighborhood with not much economic or ethnic diversity. There's probably some graph of density and diversity that shows the point where trick-or-treating door-to-door ceases and moves to retail strips. (But not El Neighbor's hood, it's ritzy!) Then, when you get to highly dense neighborhoods, kids just trick or treat in their own apartment building. I assign Robert Putnam to the case.

http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1467-9477.2007.00176.x

Apparently #6 is Dan's self-appointed PR person.

@30 This is the second time I've heard mention of Halloween caroling this season. Is this some well-known tradition that has gone completely over my head until now?

dumped.

HAAAAA! that's the fucking funniest thing i've seen all week! even better than the time i gave out old potatoes and mostly-used condiments to trick or treaters...
dan, there's always next year.

I'm giving out Chinese candy this year.

Dan! Dress up as a priest. That will say it all.

@32

Actually, I moved around quite a bit when I was young, so I grew up in an assortment of neighborhoods ranging in diversity. Some where all homogenous, others were quite mixed.

I think there's more to it than that. I think the fear of others in general seems to come into play here. Not just fear of others who are from different backgrounds.

Dan somehow I doubt you get anywhere even close to fifty trick or treaters. All the kids in the neighborhood head down to St. Joseph's. Unless of course you're luring them in with something else which is something that I'm sure many readers on here wouldn't put past you.

I was a great witch one year. With a loud cackle and scream. The little kids and parents were lining up along the street waiting for the "witch" to open the door and cackle at them. It was great until the mom who was scared shitless started talking about how she will be calling the police for scaring the kids! That put a damper on the show. There is always one in the crowd who ruins it for everyone. That parent should have went on to the next house and spared her kid the scary witch.

Packrat: it's hypocrisy not hypocracy.

We got 300+. I counted.

We got 91 this year in our Beacon Hill neighborhood. Trick-or-treaters come from all over and we insist on taking pictures of their costumes before they get any candy. Some of the -tweens had great costumes this year. And then there were the six together all in hockey masks.

@42

Thanks, my brain doesn't work as well as it used to.

"it's hypocrisy not hypocracy"

Hmm, this made perfect sense to me. Aren't we all living in a hypocracy? I got that sure feeling every time I read the news or watch TV...
:D

We got ZERO. Again. The most we've ever had in eight years is three groups of three.

Now what am I supposed to do with all these razor blades?

Wow, this was my idea that I thought of too late so next we were going to try it next year. We're in the process of buying some cheap costumes now while they're on clearance. We were going to hang it from the trees and have half bodies strew across the porch. We'd be standing outside with blood on our shirts and mouth and coax them in to get candy.

Dan my BF of six years wouldn't let me do a similar display last year at our house here in Kirkland. He gave the very same reason as yours gave you. So I dumped him and now I do whatever I want on Halloween (like go to the Cuff in drag and leave my 120 pound pitbull chained in the yard when I do - that sure gets the kiddies attention!)and I'm much happier for it. So what if you've got a kid, its just a matter of a few years before he's toilet papering houses and then its a short sharp drop from that to doing hot rails of meth with his buddies with you and the BF pulling your hair out wondering where you went wrong. Dump the guy already, give him child support if you have to and save yourself a lifetime of agita and I'll see you at the Cuff next year.

If you’re like me and enjoy Chinese take-out, you probably have piles of Duck Sauce, Soy Sauce and Hot Mustard packets. Halloween is the perfect time to get rid of them. They are about the same size as a small wrapped piece of candy. Just slip one under the candy as you toss it in the little kiddie-poos’ bags. I wish I could see the looks on their little faces when they dump out their bags! I also would like to give out some vegetables such as Brussels sprouts or small red potatoes. But in my neighborhood, I’m sure my house would be pelted with them just after I closed the door. Last night there was a rather large contingent of overweight children. A friend suggested handing out celery sticks.

Kids get candy, adults get to scare the piss out of kids...it is the circle of life! I try to keep the smallest from crying...but that is just for my auditory benefit!

Times have sure changed.

Now, you give kids a choice of a cigarette, condom or a syringe, and parents look all 'funny' at you.

I love the ideas, I may use the grave site in my yard next year. I love Halloween! I can't wait until next year!
xoxCandy

Damn. I was wondering what happened to Calvin and Hobbes. And yes, I'm tired of prissy Halloween. We were allowed to walk miles and miles, get scared to death, keep all our candy, stay up late, put potatoes in exhaust pipes and toilet paper on trees, and eat ourselves sick (I was a candy Nazi; I ate two pieces and had school dessert for MONTHS). Halloween is our version of Saturnalia -- one night a year to act like an idiot and get it out of our systems -- and I want it back.

Rock On: too bad it didn't thunder, lightning and rain: children terrorize me frequently with their parent's ill breeding and manners: parents should have to share what ever drugs they're on with their victims. I was a well mannered child and running around in public shreiking was not allowed! I did it in college with some restraint but I was held accountable on my own. Next time I see a stoned oblivious trailer trash mamma with six screaming rug rats running down the aisles in public I think I will call social services! and demand satisfaction! Hand over some tranques or get your progeny out of my face and out from under my feet!

BUFU!
grumpy fourty something in Palm Springs