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Sunday, October 14, 2007

O They Will Know We Are Catholic Prelates By…

posted by on October 14 at 9:09 AM

…how transparently we project.

VATICAN CITY (AP) — A Vatican official suspended after being caught on hidden camera making advances to a young man said in an interview published Sunday that he is not gay and was only pretending to be gay as part of his work.

In an interview with La Repubblica newspaper, Monsignor Tommaso Stenico said he frequented online gay chat rooms and met with gay men as part of his work as a psychoanalyst. He said that he pretended to be gay in order to gather information about ”those who damage the image of the Church with homosexual activity.”

In the Repubblica interview, Stenico said he had met with the young man and pretended to talk about homosexuality ”to better understand this mysterious and faraway world which, by the fault of a few people—among them some priests —is doing so much harm to the Church.”

Yeah, it’s about time the Vatican did something about all us gay men out here damaging the image of the Church through with our homosexual activity. Maybe a few burnings at the stake would convince us to stop jackhammering away at the image of the Church. But, oh, it’s difficult to enter our “mysterious and faraway” world—my goodness, you need an Internet connection and everything.

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This doesn't sound so unusual, frankly. I've been pretending to be gay for years. In fact, I'm off to pretend that I'm really enamored by the costumes and scenery in Elizabeth: The Golden Years. I'll also be pretending that I think Clive Owen is attractive. Let's pretend!

Posted by Michigan Matt | October 14, 2007 9:22 AM

And by Years I mean Age. Darned Papists!

Posted by Michigan Matt | October 14, 2007 9:23 AM

Yesterday I pretended to be gay at the matinee of The Drowsy Chaperone on Broadway. I got so swept up in pretending to be gay that I actually cried at the end. See how seductive homosexuality is? You just pretend to be gay for two hours and then you've got tears streaming down your face and a burning hunger for cock--I mean, the original Broadway cast recording (pretty much the same thing), which I'm listening to right now.

Posted by Dan Savage | October 14, 2007 9:28 AM

True or false: Many priests are closeted gays. Many Republicans are closeted gays. Therefore many priests are Republicans.

Posted by Paul In SF | October 14, 2007 9:35 AM

@4 False.

Posted by Gabriel | October 14, 2007 9:41 AM

The Monsignor is absolutely right: the only way they can cleanse their ranks of the dreaded homos is to make gay advances as often as possible. It's like getting someone to stop smoking by forcing them to smoke an entire pack of Marlboros at once.

Posted by Gabriel | October 14, 2007 9:49 AM

Dan, can I ask you a question as a straight man? In your mysterious and faraway world, is the sky still blue? Does it rain candy?

Posted by Gabriel | October 14, 2007 9:51 AM

Clearly this individual is trying to one-up Larry Craig.

Posted by Mud Baby | October 14, 2007 9:58 AM

"Io non sono omosessuale.
Non lo sono mai stato omosessuale."

Posted by RonK, Seattle | October 14, 2007 10:16 AM

We saw Patrick Wolf and the amazing Bishi at Neumo's last night.

Didn't have to pretend anything. It was full of delightful babygays who seemed the best kind of OK, and pretty happy with who they were.

Posted by It's Mark Mitchell | October 14, 2007 10:18 AM

"mysterious and faraway world"?

The gentleman doth protest too much, methinks.

Posted by Irena | October 14, 2007 10:21 AM

*laugh* "mysterious and faraway world" doesn't sound sounds wistful. "Oh, that I could find that mysterious and faraway world of unicorns and rainbows, where the air is thick with birds singing Broadway hits and men romp freely in the green, green grass!"

Posted by Kat | October 14, 2007 10:34 AM

the far away world sound a little like the christian heaven, n'estpas?

and gay sex has made it possible fro me to visit many, many times --- even chanting oh, jesus, jesus, jesus and god, god, god

welcome mes freres

Posted by Jean Claude Ferrand | October 14, 2007 12:55 PM

Hell, if Larry Craig can pretend to be straight it makes sense that SOMEONE can pretend to be gay. No?

Posted by Gurldoggie | October 14, 2007 12:59 PM

I think maybe I'll pretend to be gay and suck some cock this afternoon.

Just for research purposes, of course. It's for your own good.

Posted by SDA in SEA | October 14, 2007 1:14 PM

@3 Oooooh! The Drowsy Chaperone! I have neither seen that one nor heard its music. But apparently it's good, huh? I almost always get weepy at the end of musicals. Oh, Oklahoma!

Speaking of a mysterious and faraway world, I'm happy to report that Elizabeth defeated the dirty Spaniards while looking STUNNING in her finery. Stunning, I tell you. Thank you Cate Blanchett, for existing.

Posted by Michigan Matt | October 14, 2007 1:35 PM

Avast, fer a swig of your grog and a gold doubloon, I'll tell you of a mysterious and faraway land, where many a brave sailor has ventured, never to return...

Posted by Bont | October 14, 2007 2:11 PM

"England shall not fall, so long as I'm a Queen!"

Posted by Charlie Royer | October 14, 2007 7:14 PM

In Orthodox Judaism there are no gay men in high positions who pretend they are not gay. There simply are no gay men in Orthodox Judaism. It's a religion of truth.

Only Christianity has this kind of hypocrisy.

Posted by Issur | October 15, 2007 11:06 AM

So all those priests haven't been abusing all those boys after all, they've been doing research. That explains everything!

Posted by derek | October 15, 2007 12:17 PM

And I suppose there's a magic boat and flute, with a rather large critter named H.R.Puffinstuff there too? Where can I book passage to this mysterious and faraway world?

Posted by warren | October 15, 2007 8:32 PM

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